pclif
recently joined
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 14
Loc: MA
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Damn she's persistent! My ex-wife left me a message...AGAIN! Same as my post last week, in which I didn't call back, and again this morning. Stubborn. Anyway, told me she wanted to talk to me so give her a call. NO! I'm thinking pregnant and/or marriage and my friends seem to think so too and the call is because of guilt or so I don't find out from someone else. What does it matter? We have NO connection anymore. Like I said before....LEAVE ME ALONE! If you were to call someone several times and they NEVER called back, don't you think you could figure it out?
P
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gari1
recently joined
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 14
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She will figure it out after awhile if you don't return/acknowledge her calls. I went thru the same thing with my X a year after the divorce was final. The phone calls eventually stopped when I didn't return or acknowledge them.
Hang in there.
Gari
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Terri1
journeyman
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 71
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I'm still on the other side of this issue. If there is really no connection anymore, what would it hurt to talk to her. I may be naive or really lucky with my divorce not turning ugly and that could be why I look at this differently but there may be a legitimate reason that she wants to talk to you. Unless she was completely psycho in the past, I would call her back. I know this sounds dramatic but what if she is going to die or something.
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pclif
recently joined
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 14
Loc: MA
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Then die.
:mad: Yes we spent many years together I didn't walk out on her. So maybe I just haven't gotten over it although I thought I did. If she does have good news (ie: pregnant/marriage) WHY would she share it with me? To rub it in? To let me know she's moved on and is sticking with her "life plan" while I still sit here going nowhere fast? (My fault byt the way, I know) How she thinks she can bop back into my life is beyond me. She destroyed mine now stay out of it.
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Terri1
journeyman
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 71
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Then I agree with you. You should not call her back. You know her better than anyone and if you think she would only be calling to upset you then you should not give her the time of day.
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gari1
recently joined
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 14
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You do sound mad which is something that you will have to get over with someday IF you ARE going to get on with your life. You just can't let everything the X does make you angry if you really intend to move forward. Remember sometimes there is no rhyme or reason as to what and why they do things. Many of them are living in a make believe world anyway.
Having said that, I have a very strict no contact rule in regards to my X. I will not return any of his phone calls, etc no matter what and not just because he walked out for OW. He knows NO boundaries. He follows and watches me constantly. He still continues to pump our grown children for info (which BTW does him no good). When he discovered that I was seeing someone he dug into his past, contacted his X by mail and in person, badmouthed him to my son, etc. He STILL sends anonymous gifts to my home (we have been divorced 2 years now). His only reason for ever wanting to call is to get a foot in...for whatever reason. He continues to try while also continuing to fail at each attempt. Oh, did I mention that he is also married. He married the OW 3 months after divorce was final (we were married 27 years).
In a situation like mine I think there are good reasons not to return a call but every situation is different. You have to go with your gut feeling but please don't let it consume you. Life really is too short for that and there are so many better things that you should spend your energy on.
Take care,
Gari
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hey_its_me
recently joined
Reged: 06/06/05
Posts: 21
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Don't call her back, there is no reeson to talk to her. You have no children and whatever is going on in her life is no concern to you. Whether it is good news or bad, doesn't matter to you. If you really want to cut the ties with her then don't call. My husband's ex bugged us for 4 years until she finally got tired of it and stopped, seemed like she would never move on. She only did after we ignored her letters and cards. Good luck with your new life.
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mlh53
member
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 110
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Hi P,
My X use to do the same thing while we were going through divorce and for quite some time afterward. Whether they admit it or not, I think some of them have a hard time letting go. Even if they have someone new. Sometimes they even think we can remain friends of all things! Mine thought we could and still does to some extent. However that will NEVER happen.
Anyway, maybe that's what yours is thinking also with the incessant calling. So unless you wanna be her buddy, I would just keep ignoring her. There's absolutely no reason for you to talk since no kids are involved.
Hang in there.
Melanie
P.S. I would bet that if you continue to ignore her calls eventually she'll either go away or say what she has to say via a message. But for some reason, right now, she wants direct contact and that can't be good for you.
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