rockinrobin
newbie
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 31
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I know this seems really stupid but I really am having a hard time with this. When my ex and I divorced in January he didn't have anywhere to go (we were living with my family at the time) and he had just started a job. He wanted me to give him until May to start paying CS so that he could get settled, so I said that was fine. So far I haven't seen any money. He gets our son every weekend for one night, and all he spends on him is money for food for that night/next day.
I haven't asked him for any money yet because he has a violent past and I lived with it for 5 years, and I'm still scared of him. He is friendly with me right now and I guess I'm afraid to stir things up. But he tells me all the time about the dates he has (he pays), the bars and strip clubs he goes to, the recent vacation he went on, the new computer and bedroom set he bought, etc. and I'm getting fed up. When he tells me these things I don't respond at all. How do I get over my fear of him and ask him for money, and what exactly do I say? Thank you for any input.
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rocketgirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/24/04
Posts: 8562
Loc: On the beach in 14 years...
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You don't ask HIM yourself... get a lawyer and file for CS and THEY will ask him.
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Lisa
Diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell, and them looking forward to the trip.
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NancyD
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2105
Loc: New York
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If you are afraid of him, get a lawyer and file for CS in court. Having a court order gives you the power to have it garnished directly from his pay check, if you think it will cause trouble to ask him for the money each month.
I'm surprized this wasn't addressed in your divorce papers. You can always say that the court contacted you and said this was something that had to be settled.
Or, just say, "Time's up. Time to start supporting your child," with a few witnesses around.
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JulieLynn
veteran
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 1211
Loc: KY gal in Indiana
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Oh I agree with Nancy blame it on the court that they noticed the oversight that child support had not been ordered. But have a lawyer take care of it for you ...
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Have a great day!!
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rockinrobin
newbie
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 31
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I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you that part. It was put in the papers that he was to pay $250 a month starting in May. He's supposed to be depositing it into an account in my name.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19802
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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If he's suppposed to be paying but isn't, then you contact your local CSE office and let them handle it. If you are in a financial bind, then apply for aid.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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rockinrobin
newbie
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 31
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Thank you, what will the CSE office do? Will they tell him that I contacted them?
Edited by rockinrobin (12/14/06 01:28 PM)
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19802
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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what will the CSE office do?
---> Most likely they will issue a wage withholding order. They may also want to establish arrearages.
Will they tell him that I contacted them?
---> Yes.
---> I realize that you have cause to fear him, but there comes a time when you have to say "enough is enough" and for HIM to start being held accountable AND responsible for HIS choices. IF he chooses NOT to pay CS, then the State will MAKE him. IF he chooses to take his anger out on you, then the State will hold him accountable (but you HAVE to call the police).
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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rockinrobin
newbie
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 31
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Thank you, I really appreciate the information. I suppose that I will just have to "get brave" and do it. I will let you all know what happens.
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tsl
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/24/04
Posts: 2274
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You might ask that the CSE office handle it where they say to him "we were doing our yearly audit and noticed you had not made any support payments so we issued a withholding order with your employer for the child support." They can address arreage with him too.
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Duct tape can't fix stupid but it can keep them out of the way."
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