cacecr
recently joined
Reged: 12/08/06
Posts: 12
|
|
Hi Folks
Well I lost i ended up in jail for the night, thank god my wife has friends and posted the money more than $6K. We are in massachusetts, he goes to Suffolk univ. which is in boston, we live on the so.shore, about a 40 min. commute in rush hour. I am fighting my ex on this after the new year, we have a continuance in Feb. Any one know any good attorneys in Massachusetts. I still do not feel like i have to pay for his lights, cable, heat, car, car insurance, car repairs and food. I pay for half his tuition and books, he decided not to live at the dorm (suffolk univ. can only live on dorm for first 2 years) this is his 2nd year so next year he would have to live at home with either one of us, and commute or get an apartment. He decided he wants to live in apartment this year. In August i told him i couldn't afford it, as with the dorm i coulod take out a loan with his tuition. I am not rich. He still went got apartment. The apartment is a 2 bedroom $1,200 a month, no roommate yet, he claims he is looking, but i don't think so. So any suggestions, comments, am i wrong, I will even think ok pay for the rent, but food, car, car insurance etc. he goes to school 3 days a week, he is full time and he works the other 2 days. While off for these 4 weeks semester break, he will work full time, he will work full time in the summer, so my other question is who is going to pay for the rent June thru August when he is not in school, i know he won't move out. He doesn't want to live with his mom or I, i think he would rather be on his own, but he plays us against each other too. Just bad all around. I am babbling but what else does anyone need to know!
|
ljnsy
old hand
Reged: 03/08/06
Posts: 857
Loc: NH
|
|
How old is he?
--------------------
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." --
Oscar Wilde
|
Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19887
Loc: Third rock from the sun
|
|
You need to provide more information.
Your subject says you "lost in court"...can you supply more details?
You say you went to jail...for what?
--------------------
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
|
Lucy44
old hand
Reged: 07/11/05
Posts: 874
Loc: Rochester, MN
|
|
Married couples are more likely to have greater resources, and they have the option to say NO to paying for anything beyond basics.
I would fight tooth and nail to keep a clause which would force me to pay anything after h.s graduation, out of an MDA!
--------------------
Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
|
jasonfoxfire
recently joined
Reged: 12/22/06
Posts: 11
|
|
I have heard that Massachusetts is the worst state to pay child support in. My sister lives in Massachusetts and her ex-husband fought her tooth & nail in court for custody of teenage son and finally won by out-spending her in legal fees. So it proves you could win if you want to go that route. You might consider hiring a lawyer if it's worth it just to get your ex-wife off your neck.
|
cacecr
recently joined
Reged: 12/08/06
Posts: 12
|
|
he is 19. it was for contempt, ex says i should pay for 1/2 of all his college expenses, rent (which is $1,200 a month), heat, lights, cable, car, car insurance, car repairs, total was almost $5k, attorneys fees for her attorney were $1,200. I was thrown in jail until i could come up with the $6K, which my wife got the next day. I am going to fight this, this is ridculous, i am going to tell my son to find a roommate ASAP too! I just can't believe the judge didnt listen to me at all, she is an attorney and works for the sherriffs dept. so i know she has pulls, i am first goin to try and get this out of that county. so any good attorneys out there in mass., south shore. or any more information needed?
|
focusedon2
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 12/10/05
Posts: 2136
|
|
I wish I could help but I don't know any lawyers on the South Shore.
I live in MA and I don't have a problem with the concept of helping one's kid through college.
But goodness gracious, that is one spoiled child. If he can't afford an apt., he should live at home and be GRATEFUL you're willing to let him live at home.
Who pays for the other 1/2 of his college expenses? If it's your ex, then his money should be spent on his car and his gas. If it's him, then his wife should help out with the car and gas, assuming he lives at home and can't take public transit to school. If there is a commuter rail, then he should get his butt on the train if he can't afford a car himself.
I'm sorry I can't be more helpful but I certainly commiserate with you. The situation you are in is completely absurd.
Your situation is rather scary. I guess my ex and I could find ourselves in the same situation in 8 years or so. If you don't mind, can you tell us what your court order said with regards to college tuition.
Edited by focusedon2 (12/24/06 08:20 PM)
|
cacecr
recently joined
Reged: 12/08/06
Posts: 12
|
|
I guess i should be a little more specific, but my head spinning as this happening right before xms, and my poor wife running around and missing work for me because of this, and her poor son suffering from this. I have and been paying 1/2 of his tuition and the first year (last year) i paid for 1/2 his dorm, he is in his sec. year at suffolk (boston), plus half his books, i have given him extra money here and there, i have had his car fixed. The ex pays for the other half, but this year 2006 he got the apartment in sept. And per my ex this past may my son supposedly told me he hates the dorm with the partying and drinking, it wasn't may it was august he told me, and i told my son, i can't afford it to stay home and we all save for you, but he didn't. I have talked to him and he agrees and he has told me he pays for his car, his car insurance and some other things, but he won't tell his mom she is wrong. She thinks she knows everything and i will assume has it good with the judges in plymouth county as she is an attorney. My wife works in boston, he could commute with her, he could commute himself, he could live with his mom but doesn't really like her for some reason, he loves his step mom and he could live with us, but doesn't. Spoiled is right, but like i said after the new year I will find an attorney. I was in court for contempt on our divorce agreement which only states half his college expenses and to me that is not lights, food, cable, car, car insurance etc. That is books and tuition which i have been paying with no problem or no argument. Plus the little extra here and there which i give him. Contempt came down as me found guilty and to spend my time in jail from 30 to 60 days until i could come up with the money, the mediator in the plymouth probate court asn't any help either. I tried to argue this myself (dumb me) attorney next time, but no one listened. Everyone i talk to say i am half right, maybe ok to pay the rent, but he should still have a roommate!! Who knows maybe i am off my rocker thinking this is crazy. but i feel so screwed it really won't be a joyous xmas around here today!! i hope some on this board can help me with some info or if anyone needs more info just ask. But i do pay half his college education, that is what or div. agree says, which to me is tuition and books and maybe pay 1/2 for his transportation which would be public transportation!! THANKS! any info - help - opinions - would be appreciate, and merry xmas to everyone
|
gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30367
|
|
...is how on your first visit to court for contempt, the judge IMMEDIATELY threw you in jail for not paying the money. That is VERY uncommon.
Is this your first contempt charge? Were you given a period of time to pay, and you didn't, etc. THAT is what we need to know in order to offer help.
--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
|
cacecr
recently joined
Reged: 12/08/06
Posts: 12
|
|
YES MY FIRST CONNTEMPT. This is not uncommon to be thrown in jail in the smaller courts (hence i was in plymouth county). My ex wife is an attorney in this area, knows all the people and my wife works for high powered attorneys in boston and yes if u have the pull it happens. My wife's ex owed her more than $10K in arrearage for child support and she had to get him arrested to get him into court, judge told her ex to pay $___ a week or if he daults in jail he goes, this was in the boston court. I got no warning from the court, just letters from my ex in oct. nov. dec. from her telling me to pay her or otherwise she will bring me in contempt. So we went in Dec. i was found guilty and thrown in jail, no pay so much a week, and go to work and see u back here in feb. just come up with $6K to get out and we have a continuance Feb. So this is not uncommon on the southshore as I have spoken to friends and it happens, as its a smaller court system. Did i answer this ok for you. I got no warning from the court or a time to pay it up.
|
gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30367
|
|
...get an attorney first. Second, you will need to have the venue changed. This should be easy, since your ex is an attorney in the area, and could have undue influence in the court.
--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
|
cacecr
recently joined
Reged: 12/08/06
Posts: 12
|
|
Most definitely!! I am doing both things come the new year! I just want the holidays to be ok with my wife! and her son! I am just asking if anyone knows a good (not to expensive LOL) Family Attorney on the south shore or north shore as i could call there and get a referral!! This is ridiculous! I have always helped my boys, the oldest one (22) lives with me. When they were younger I paid child support with no problems, I took them on my weekends and days no problem. But this is just crazy!!!
|
Melody
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
|
|
that knowing all this about how the system works in your area, and about your exwife's connections...you wouldn't have placed yourself in a position where a contempt charge could have been brought. It's all about choices...you didn't have to be in contempt; you gambled; you lost; you pay the price.
|
cacecr
recently joined
Reged: 12/08/06
Posts: 12
|
|
thanks Melody for the support!! I was not in contempt for his educational expenses, i have paid 1/2 his tuition and for books and other expenses. I still feel the system ALL over the country is not fair at times. Yes i will get an attorney and see that outcome! But i still feel my son should grow up and even tell his mother she is wrong for all these expenses. He works, he only goes to school 3 days a week. Life is not fair, but life is not free either.
|
Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19887
Loc: Third rock from the sun
|
|
I was not in contempt for his educational expenses, i have paid 1/2 his tuition and for books and other expenses.
---> Then what were you in contempt for?
--------------------
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
|
Melody
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
|
|
right? Only you could have put yourself in that position.
|
cacecr
recently joined
Reged: 12/08/06
Posts: 12
|
|
Right I guess I put myself in the position, but I still feel paying for his car, car insurance, food, cable, is not educational expenses!! Do you!
|
Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
|
|
That isn't what she said..
Look.... let's make this easy...... Help us on these questions.. okay???
1) WHAT does your CO say in regards to CS and extra expenses such as college, car, insurance.....Don't leave anything out.. infact.. if you could type it out verbatim that willl be useful... just take out the names.
2) WHAT was the actual contempt on??? You say you pay these things... so what was it on? they can't file contempt on something you are doing....If you have anything on that.. type that out... again... leave out names.
3) You say this was the first contempt, which I find really ODD... there are some on this board who's ex's are more than 100K in arrears and THEY are FINALLY being hit with contempt charges, etc. I understand your ex is an attorney..... and I am all to familiar with the courts and the "good ole boy system". But.. explain to me how you got the contempt so quickly...... have you had other warnings.....
|
cacecr
recently joined
Reged: 12/08/06
Posts: 12
|
|
1. My div. agr. states I should pay for 1/2 for educational expenses!!!!! nothing specifically broken down, which is the basic in div. agr. (my new wife's says the same). So I take this as 1/2 tuition, books and room and board. I already said I would pay for the rent! but he was supposed to get a roommate. I have already paid 1/2 his tuition and books for the past 2 years. (he is in 2nd year of college.
2. The contempt was for educational expenses. Ex had it listed, rent, heat, electric, cable, car, car insurance, car repairs, food - total $+-5K. You can file a contempt on anything you want to, then u both go to court and see who gets what or what agreement you come to. So you ask what the contempt was it was educational expenses. YES I was not paying his rent. I will agree to that, I wanted him to stay at the dorm or live at home with his mother or me and commute - its not that far.
3. Yes this was my first contempt! She has never pulled me back in for anything when he was younger. I have always paid my c.support. I just wanted to put my foot down on an apartment. my wife's ex owed her over $15K and they went to court and he didn't get thrown in jail. So yes if u know people that helps u for that, as i have said my ex knows everyone. I don't understand why you find this my first contempt really ODD. It is my first contempt. Ex wants her money back for sept. thru dec. for the rent, heat, electric, cable, food, car, car insurace car repairs. Like I said I know the system pretty good too and u can pull your ex in anytime for contempt its the part of proving who is right or wrong and come to an agreement. She filed the contempt beginning of december took 2 weeks for a court date. Just like my wife and her ex, he files a contempt on her 2 weeks later she has court date. It doesn't t ake long to get a court date on a contempt in massachusetts. U just go in and file! 2 weeks is roughly when your date is!
Any more info you need. Like i said i would't mind paying for half the rent if he got a roommate, but my other problem is why can't he commute, if we were still married he would be commuting! Thanks!
|
Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
|
|
Let me rephrase... JAIL time for 1st contempt is really.. really unheard of..... especially when you could show you were paying for things... there is a difference of opinion.. but you were paying...
Something is not adding up..... and sorry... but I just don't buy it.. maybe someone else can help you.
|
cacecr
recently joined
Reged: 12/08/06
Posts: 12
|
|
No problem, runswithscissors, where are u located any way, r u in mass.? Being thrown in jail is not unheard of for 1st contempt or for any matter here in massachusetts. It happens all the time, depends on where you are, what county, what judge you get that day, what mood he is in, yes it sucked, but it happens. Sorry you don't buy it, but i have been paying all along, except this past sept. 06 when he moved into an apartment. I have said I didn't pay for the rent and his utilities, as i feel he didn't need the apartment. The year before 05-06, i paid a few times for his car insurance, but i paid for 1/2 his tuition and books and board that year, and this year i paid for 1/2 his tuition and books thats all. I will let you guys know what happens when i find an attorney here in mass. Thanks to everyone for trying to help!!
|
Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
|
|
Good luck.
I am in SC and I am a GAL, so I am in court rooms about 3X a month. I guess.. I just don't understand how they can throw you in jail (wrongful inprisionment) if your order does NOT outline Utlities, etc. Your order is silent on those matters so it's a proverbial gray area. I could understand if you all went to court for clarification- And THEN you didn't pay... but for something that is silent..... it just doesn't add up... UNLESS you've been paying the rent for like the past two years and then you just decided to stop... that may be what the problem is..... I just don't understand.
Let us know what the Lawyer says. Good luck.. sorry we could not be of much help.
|
cacecr
recently joined
Reged: 12/08/06
Posts: 12
|
|
I paid for his dorm the first year, 2005-2006, then in May 06 he decided, but never told me, that he wanted out of the dorms and wanted an apartment. He told me in August of 06, so yes i guess u could say i was paying for his board and then stopped but board and rent to me is different and if we were still married i would guarantee he would be living at home commuting his 3 days a week to school. Plus his room and board and tuition for 2005/2006 i took out a college loan - same for 2006/2007 for his tuition since he is not in the dorm, I cannot ask for a loan for rent. But like u say utilities, cable, car insurance etc. is a gray area. I hope to get it all straightened out soon. I will let you know what happens, thanks for wishing me good luck, just hope i find a good attorney in mass. That's the hard part! LOL
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
