NikkiP
recently joined
Reged: 12/27/06
Posts: 12
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Hello everyone, I have been watching this board for awhile but never posted because at some point my issue was covered by another poster. But I have never seen this question addressed. An NCP that can't afford his first child/dren should not have more. OK what if he/she is able to provide for them financially and then CP seeks an increase, that changes his/her finances. So do you think the NCP should not have more children until his/her first family is grown (18-22) before having more children?
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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No.
No one has a crystal ball.. to have a child KNOWING you can't afford the child in the present... is senseless... but to try to figure out what you can/ can not do- have 4-10 years from now is next to impossible....... I never in a million years dreamed as a NCP that I would be making close to 100K LESS than I did 6 years ago.....
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M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11736
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I agree..at the time we had our daughter, we were doing great financially. It wasn't until a few years later that things became so hard.
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NikkiP
recently joined
Reged: 12/27/06
Posts: 12
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No is the logical answer, but most of the post here suggest that NCPs should not start new families if they can't/don't support first families. My situation, DH and I have 2 children, His child support payment for first child is $500 his ex is seeking an increase, however we don't feel that he can afford it but the judge might see it differently. Some states do consider subsequent children but then some judges and people here say don't have more children if you can't afford the ones you already have. Is there a solution?
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M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11736
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Situations change. You had more children before she started seeking a decrease...you can't change that. You didn't know that would happen. I believe more and more states are starting to take into account subsequent children. Ours started doing that a few years ago.
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matart1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/01/05
Posts: 2798
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when I met my present husband he had already had 2 children from a prior marriage, his cs set and everything determined.
his ex did get cs increased but that is still no bearing.
we have had 2 children since then and we knew fully well that any subsequencent children would not allieviate cs.
since it was my female body that determined if we were to have children knowing all this, I made the decision to do so based on 100% responsibility from my income.
I knew what I was doing also.
his cs had him strapped that he could not financially live on his own.
that is not always the given for a ncp but it was in his situation.
that being said you cannot predict the future.
with our hard work we have overcome a lot of obsticales and our income is increased and we are slowing getting to a point where we are comfortable. it did not happen overnight and it could have went the opposite direction just as easily.
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Life is a long lesson in humility.
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AnneB
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/21/05
Posts: 3645
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Is the CS in his state a certain percentage based on income? Is the CS he is paying the correct/court determined percentage? If not, then he knew or could reasonably have known before having additional children that the amount could go up. Once he had the additional children he knew/could have known that if his income increased significantly the CS could go up.
If there has been no increase in income that would raise the CS, then it doesn't seem likely that a judge would increase it. If he has been paying the same amount of CS for years, then it is only reasonable that he would be ordered to pay a greater amount if he is making more money. I know that nothing I buy is the same price now as it was a few years ago. It isn't as simple as not having more children--it is educating yourself about the laws--i.e. child support increasing if your income increases, etc. and planninng accordingly.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30378
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...that NCP's are supposed to have crystal balls and KNOW what will and won't happen, and shoulder the ENTIRE weight of choices made by them AND the CP, as well as financial setbacks. While CP's are protected from such devastation, adn insulated against anny and all castastrophes.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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NikkiP
recently joined
Reged: 12/27/06
Posts: 12
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Well in our situation my DH salary has decreased but not significantly so he didn't try to get child support decreased. I don't know if the ex thinks his salary has increase or because she has more expenses for the child age 12. But it could be a toss up his argument is he didn't seek a decrease based on his lower salary. His court order is based on ex having full custody (primary, sole whatever. So it is at the full level. It included daycare which the child no longer goes to daycare.
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NikkiP
recently joined
Reged: 12/27/06
Posts: 12
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Yes I know it is possible for child support to increase but if ex lies about expenses for the child then ex should have to provide proof of the expenses, as I said before, there are cases on this board where the CP lies about expenses to increase child support or get more money from NCPs for non existent medical expenses. But some judges take CPs at their word that they have such expenses thus an increase to NCPs. I don't know of any person CP or NCP that would want to make less money so that their child support wouldn't increase.
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