Renee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4022
Loc: The Palmetto State
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Now that would be too damn logical, don't ya know...... ; )
...just kidding. I realize I'm causing my own grief here, and I hear what you're saying. I need to get over my SuperWoman Complex and realize I can't handle it, no matter how much I want to *think* that I can.
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MickeyInTexas
recently joined
Reged: 12/25/06
Posts: 7
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I don't post here often but to this day I appreciate how the people I was lucky enough to meet at this site who helped me when I was at the stage you are at now. I hope that something I post helps.
Write the letter, and make it really long. Get out everything you feel and want to say. Send the letter to someone other than your ex if you have the urge to mail it off. I highly recommend that you print out the letter and file it away for a later date. I did the same thing more times than I can count. I even wrote unsent letters to men that I dated after the divorce. I found those kept letters not long ago and spent an entire afternoon laughing my rear end off as I read each one and then threw them away. It was a really cool party!
I remember missing the person I believed they were and would love that person until I died. Instead I learned that I wasn't thinking clearly. I was in "love" with an image of the person I wished they had been. It took time before I realized that the real person was who they truly were instead of who I wanted them to be. Real is real and the way a person is will not change no matter what you want or how you want to envision them in your mind. As the saying goes, a leopard cannot change their spots. You deserve to love a real person not an image. Most of all, you deserve to be loved by a real person.
Believe me, it will happen when you least expect it or even want it. To tell you the truth, when you do meet the right person you will want to run the other way. Your socks won't be knocked off. There are no fireworks and no rush. You might even think you don't want to be with the person. It won't take long before you realize that your have met your match made in heaven. In the beginning the high and rush will be absent. It's different than what you've gone through.
The high and rush won't be present at first because you've met the one person exactly like you. Someone who wants the same things you want. The one person who is exactly like you in every way. Drama is like a drug. Easy to get hooked on and hard to shake but once gone you feel the freedom of life we all deserve.
Please look forward and stop looking back. You are the only person who can bring happiness into your life. Find that happiness for yourself first. It's baby steps but it pays off in a big way. Finally, always remember that you can't give someone else happiness unless you are happy with yourself.
Take care, don't send any letters to the ex or say anything you might regret later, work on exercising your ex from your mind, and pay attention to who is most important...YOU!!
Mickey
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latoca
journeyman
Reged: 06/15/06
Posts: 60
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Yall know.. I had the hardest time getting over the ex.. but seeing him now, I really just laugh to myself and think OMG I can't believe I married him.
Do things for YOU, make yourself feel better.. Do stuff not to get his attention, but to boost your own ego.
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Sieze the day, have no regrets.
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GloriaJeans
recently joined
Reged: 01/05/07
Posts: 2
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Renee, it sounds like you just need to constantly remind yourself of how miserable life was when you were with him (if in fact that is the case). If these costs outweigh all the pros, they will always keep you from contacting your Ex. If they don't, then maybe you are still up for working something out with him. Your heart will tell you the answer!
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Boris
berlikh@gloriajeans.com
http://www.gloriajeans.com
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