Christine71
newbie
Reged: 09/28/04
Posts: 40
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I have a question that I really can't wait to ask the attorney because it's driving me nuts. I live in Illinois and I'm the CP. My son (12) has been charged with sexually abusing our daughter (7). Completely insane because given the ages, I think DCFS is making something out of nothing. The 12 year old was playing true/dare with NCP step kids I found out and they apparently went too far. NCP step daughter is being investigated now also. As a result, he was a bit more curious given the fact he just went thru sex ed at school. Doesn't eleviate what happened. State's attorney wants to prosecute Class 1 and 2 Felony and make him a ward of the State. Son is ADHD with LD. Son has been removed from the home to live with grandmother until the hearing next month even thou I still have custody. Ex is remarried and his wife has custody of 2 other kids and they are expecting another together in Feb. That's why they are at my mom's.
Question 1: If son is placed in State custody, does NCP still have to pay CS for that child?
Question 2: Does NCP or both of us have to pay CS to state?
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jsp
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/30/05
Posts: 4197
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I am confused that you don't really see any concern in what is going on. Your biggest worry isn't your kids, but if you have to pay child support?
Yes, both parents will probably have to pay child support. Why should only the NCP pay when the child is both of your responsibilities to support financially? Having kids in foster care, especially when your son would probably need theraputic care, or group home is very expensive. And, that doesn't include the salary's for the workers, judge, attorneys, etc.
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katiefedup
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/26/05
Posts: 11669
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No, if the state takes gaurdianship you don't pay. BUT, that seems like the least of your problems.
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Christine71
newbie
Reged: 09/28/04
Posts: 40
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No, my biggest concern is my kids. I could care less if he pays a dime in CS. I just wanted to know in addition to the expenses of "state care" if that's what the judge rules, what else I would need to prepare for. I am fighting for my kids this tooth and nail to get judge supervised counseling. Besides, the ex doesn't care anyway. I'm suppose to be remarried next year and I make $13.00 an hour and he makes $30.00 an hour. He won't go half on the defense attorney which is costing me $10K because his step kids are apparently priority over his own. He doesn't care what happens to his son. Pretty sick if you ask me.
Edited by Christine71 (12/28/06 10:25 PM)
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jsp
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/30/05
Posts: 4197
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Once a child is in care, you would not have any expenses, but at least here, you pay child support and it is filed on both parents.
If he is currently paying child support, that amount goes to the state, as well as any money like social security disability, if your son got it for the ADHD.
If you are the CP and you get child support, then technically he doesn't have to pay for the defense attorney. Depending on the full story, maybe dad feels the child could benefit from foster care or the services offered?
If you are making $13 an hour, your son may qualify for a court appointed attorney? Maybe dad feels that is more appropiate to use those services vs. paying money neither parent has?
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tsl
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/24/04
Posts: 2274
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Okay, unfortuneately I have been there, done that. With one of my custodial stepkids. Age difference was a bit more, like 12 to a 5 year old and a toddler. He did it b/c me and my kids came into the picture. He knew that he couldn't hurt me so he hurt my kids. He was turned in to the authorities by his legal father (my husband is not his legally).
I suggest you find the laws in your state that pertains to Juvenile delequents. Know them.
If he is being charged and convicted as an adult, make sure he is truely. We were told in our case, SS was being tried and convicted as an adult. Come to find out, years later, he was sent to foster homes, not a "juvenile jail" which is where he should have gone if tried as an adult.
The state never notified DH or the Biomom of anything. And, to be honest, DH was and still is so angry he didn't want anything more to do with him. The severity of what he did and why...
Well, that offender is legal age and now, after 7 years, the state sent my husband a bill for services. Over 100k!
Well, we are fighting it and hired our attorney on this. You see, first off in our case, the NEVER notified the biomother (she has been out of the boy's life for 2 years prior to this incident), she is not listed on the documents as she should be as it is required by LAW to have both parents. Secondly, DH is considered a victim too and they can't come after the victim for the money. And thirdly, they should have filed when thsi all began (according to the law). They do the child support forms where BOTH parents income are taken into consideration and they find out what each parent's obligation is, and that is how they pay and what amount they can afford. Also, they could have taken support that DH was receiving for the boys. But, apparently since it was worded and an agreed amount of $60 per week for support, and not an individual amount for each, they couldn't get it.
So, again, find your laws. Also, there should be victim rights groups , ask for them and talk to them. Still, read the laws...
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Duct tape can't fix stupid but it can keep them out of the way."
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Rebecca5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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Question 1: If son is placed in State custody, does NCP still have to pay CS for that child?
Usually, the CS the NCP pays is sent to the state rather than the CP.
Question 2: Does NCP or both of us have to pay CS to state?
See question 1....plus, you may be ordered to pay something. There's no hard and fast law about it, but it's fairly common.
If I may ask....what did the 12 year old do, specifically?
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Christine71
newbie
Reged: 09/28/04
Posts: 40
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Per DCFS my daughter told them that my son performed oral and penitration. My son admitted to me that he did this and it happened only once after a visitation weekend with their dad. My son hasn't been spoken to yet by the authorities either. This all just came about earlier this month. He said he was curious because the step sister was doing it to him during that same visitation weekend with his dad. So of course, because he thought it was fun, did the unthinkable with the biosister.
Now NCP pays me CS for 3 kids. Just the 2 of ours are involved in this. So NCP would still have to pay me CS for the 2 kids (only if the 3rd is in custody) and we both will have to pay for the 3rd in custody?
Not only that, I have bad experience with Public Defenders so that's not an option.
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Rebecca5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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Penetration and oral sex does not fall within the scope of "normal childhood exploration," nor does it have anything to do with having "the talk" at school. Once is one time too many. The first trip you might want to make is to take yourself to a counselor for some education. Depending on your son's LD diagnosis, there may be a slight amount of excusing his behavior. The ADHD doesn't mean anything. At the very least...if he has such poor boundaries and impulse control, and is sexually interested....a home with no other children is probably a good idea.
Denial is not a good place. It puts other children at risk. I would be surprised if the supervising adults weren't slapped with failure to protect.
He will still have to pay you for the two in your custody. He will have to pay the state for the third. You may also have to pay the state...that will be up to a judge.
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Christine71
newbie
Reged: 09/28/04
Posts: 40
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My son's LD Diag is pretty stiff. He's 7th grade at a 4th grade reading level. I'm not saying that what he did wasn't wrong, it is completely wrong. The family is absolutely devistated that it happened and because he doesn't know any better, he shows no remorse. Acts like it's not a big deal. He doesn't understand or can't comprehend the fact that he's been told he has to live somewhere else for now. He thinks it's "fun time" with Grandma. Juve would not be a good idea for him. Given his LD and special education needs, he will come out it worse so we are trying to keep him out of that.
Thanks for all the great advice.
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