Christine71
newbie
Reged: 09/28/04
Posts: 40
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I did accept the fact that it was done. Do I tolarate it, absolutely not.
Am I going to fight for both my daughter and my son? HELL YEAH. I'm not going to sit there and have symphothy for my daughter and DO NOTHING to help my son. Or vice versa. Yes, I do feel sorry for my daughter and I am helping her deal (without discussing details) with this but on the other hand I'm also trying to help my son. Yes, it's a mess, but it's really hard to pick sides here. I don't want to choose sides.
Yes, I might be in denial, but who the hell wouldn't be. I can't discuss this with my son to find out exactly what happened or speak to my daughter to find out exactly what happened. I have to rely on what the INVESTIGATOR FOR THE POLICE and DCFS tell me??? Yes, it's very frustrating and with the holidays, there's lack of time.
The way the defense is being done is up to the attorney I hired. As far as the LD and ADHD thing, that's his mental status so why can't it be used. School IEP's list him as boarderline mentally retarded. But explaining anything to him is like talking to a 5 year old. Do you discuss s-e-x with a 5 yr old...I would hope not. So given his age, you have to adjust to their level of comprehension. Yes it sucks.
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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Yes, I did discuss age appropriate sex with my five year old.... and at 7 he knew what oral sex was.. and that it was not to be done on anyone epsecially family members.
Good luck.
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tsl
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/24/04
Posts: 2274
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I think what they are trying to say, Christine71, is that he isn't at fault on what has recently transpired...no more than you being at fault. While there is no disputing the fact that he has caused mental damage (emotional is more like it) from his past actions or lack of involvement, that in itself doesn't influence kids to molest other kids.
One can not be over their children 24/7, and one does not even consider the possibility of 1 child molesting another in their home unless there is reason to give such thoughts. How were you to know to keep the bedroom door locked at night because he would molest? And are you for sure that it has not occured while they are over at dad's?
And what about the Stepchild that molested the perpertrator initally, anything being done about that?
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Duct tape can't fix stupid but it can keep them out of the way."
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Christine71
newbie
Reged: 09/28/04
Posts: 40
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the basic talk was done about "private parts, etc..." also the whole "stranger danger" stuff that went along with it when they were all at the age of 3-4. The s-e-x talk wasn't done until I felt they were old enough to handle it. So when the twins came home from school one day in October, they were asking questions because they were touching base on it in school. So of course still thinking my son(s) weren't mentally old enough to handle it, we touched base on the bird and bees anyway. Of course they were told it would be wrong to do at their age. But given the fact that neither one of the twin boys have gone thru or have shown signs of going thru puberty yet, as a parent you dread having the "talk". Hell, being in 7th grade, they have no interest in girls yet. For heaven's sake they still believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. Remember they were born 10 weeks earlier so they are also developmentally slow. We have constantly reminded them about "private parts" over the years.
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Christine71
newbie
Reged: 09/28/04
Posts: 40
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[quote]And are you for sure that it has not occured while they are over at dad's?
And what about the Stepchild that molested the perpertrator initally, anything being done about that? [/quote]
No I'm not for sure, DCFS never specified where it took place, so I'm assuming it was done at my house, however, my gut is telling me it's been going on at Dads. During the Dec 6 interview with my daughter, they said it was going on going back to 2002. Now tell me why the summons says it took place between August and November of this year. Seems to me that DCFS can't even get their story straight. Everytime they come home from Dads, there's issues.
As far as the stepchild, again, I don't know if there's an investigation. I mentioned it to the DCFS rep and the Police Investigator handling the case on Dec 6. and she's has been on vacation since Dec 18. Expected to return Tuesday. Maybe that's another reason why it's being dragged out. Maybe DCFS was out at Dads already and communication hasn't been done yet between the 2 counties. I don't know.
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jsp
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/30/05
Posts: 4197
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You need to ask questions when you meet with people - who are you, where do you work, what is your role, and can I have your business card. What you say makes sense and doesn't make sense... all I can say is don't want for someone else to get the help for your kids. Instead of worrying about the little details, get them really good evaluations and mental health treatment for them and for you as a family.
A lot of times child welfare will come in and tell you to make a plan... if you can, which you did, they may not do a lot else. It sounds more like DJJ (or what ever you call it in your area) for your son.
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onerose
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/30/05
Posts: 3151
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Goodnight! I am sorry for what you are going thru. It makes my heart hurt for you and your kids. I realize that this has been going on for about a month for you, and you have been thru a lot. Sorry you got slammed from some posters. I see that your first thought was not about child support. This is just getting your ducks in a row.
I am sure the they will want CS from both of you. THat would be fair, but life is usually never fair. And you know this.
I wish you all the luck and hope you get help for you, your daughter and son. Actually...your whole family.
Good luck.
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