Cayteax
member
Reged: 03/30/05
Posts: 183
Loc: Southern US
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Husband had skids all last week. He took them to the beach, to visit their grandfather, out for snowcones, etc. They were hardly home, except in the evenings. BM called the last night we had them. I was sitting by SD6 and heard her tell her mother "We're just sitting around watching television. That's all we've done all week, Mom." My jaw dropped to the floor. DH is busting his behind doing fun things with the kids. I told DH and he got irritated but didn't say anything. Another part of it that ticks me off is how she asks them what they've done. DH never asks what they do with their mother.
Another thing, DH's mother died last month. BM started acting like she had lost her own mother. She went around tell everyone that DH's mother was "like a second mother" to her. What she didn't tell them was how bad she talked about her and DH's father when the divorce was going on. I mean, who tells their 6 year old son that his grandfather is "going to h*ll" because he's Catholic. Anyhoo, she's pregnant by her latest husband who she's kicked out (every time she talks about why she kicked him out I get a different story). She's taking the skids with her to find out what the sex is. She told me that SS11 wants it to be a girl because that's what DH's mother wanted. I just looked at her. I wanted to ask her if SS realized that this child would not have been DH's mother's grandchild, but I kept my mouth shut. SS told us that BM has a big surprise for us once this baby is born. We figure she's going to name it after DH's mother. Even though DH and I had already told his father, SS, and SD that when we have another baby, if it's a girl we're going to name it after her. DH tells me not to worry about it. We'll still name a daughter after her. But it bugs me. She treats his mother like cr*p and then when she passes away, she acts like her own mother has passed.
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Cayteax
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matart
journeyman
Reged: 06/07/05
Posts: 71
Loc: Louisiana
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I know what you mean.
your husband could have taken them to Disney and sd would have had the same reply to her mother.
when stepsons are here their mom calls every single day to interrogate them on what they have done and what they have eaten. she even had the audacity to day to have the phone switched to me to demand what I had planned on making for dinner one night because we had not gotten around to it and she had called early. needless to say she was not happy with my reply when I told her to mind her own business.
some people are just born to be putzes.
as far as the name thing goes.
her surprise may very well be to name the child after your husband's mother but look at it this way.
people are going to remember what she said and done in the past about his parents and really, won't she look the fool for naming a child after someone else's family that she treated that way ??
this is even some other man's child.
it will be interesting when the girl ( if it is a girl ) gets older and asks so how did you come up with this name.
then the poor girl will be like " who "? imagine her confusion as to what does that have to do with her.
keep your intentions of naming your child the name you wanted in the first place.
don't give this person the satisfaction of knowing that she has bother you by her dumb actions.
she is just jealous and doing what she can to make you miserable.
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Lisa
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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and you never will. My SO and I took all 5 of our kids to Florida a few weeks ago. While there, my kids called their dad and he must have asked what they were doing because they said "Nothing we're just sitting around". Which we were at the moment, but we had just spent the whole day swimming, went to Epcot the day before and Magic Kingdom the day before that. They're kids, they don't think to 5 minutes before and if she had been watching TV 10 minutes a day she probably would be focusing on that since that's what she was doing at the moment. I rarely get irritated with what my kids say anymore. I just shake my head, knowing they will give details as they remember them. Heck we got our pics back 5 days after being at Disney for 6 days and my 7yo lookedat the pics and said "Oh I forgot we did that" a couple of times.
As for the name thing. Let it go, because you can't do anything about it. I'm sure she said bad things when they went through their divorce. Who doesn't? Maybe she now regrets saying them. Personally I'd never name a child after anyone in my x's family now, but to each their own. Not to mention I'm sure she's thinking about it only to get to you guys. If that's what it is and SS tells you say "Oh, how nice. Then if we havea baby girl both your sisters will have the same name!" If that gets back to her I can almost bet the baby won't have that first name!
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TGSM
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/06/05
Posts: 5843
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They answer her like that because it leads to the path of least resistance. I know...my SS does the same thing. If he tells his mother how much fun he had and what we did, he gets guilt trips and smart ass comments about us. If he downplays it, nada. So he has wised up over the years and tells her what she wants to hear...that we do nothing. LOL
About her naming the child after MIL.*sigh* She's just being a bitch and hoping this gets to you. DON'T let her know it bothers you. You just give her satisfaction.
If you do have a daughter...name her after you MIL no matter what she does. THAT will piss her off to no end. LOL
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Faith-a f*rm belief in something for which there is no proof...complete trust.~Merriam Webster
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Dee78
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11820
Loc: TN
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Especially a 6 year old is going to say that they are sitting around. If she is anything like my daughters, she is very precise and does not exaggerate when asked "what are you doing?" So when my daughters are on the phone, they will say what they are doing that minute. So even if we just got in from a day at the park, they are just sitting on the couch watching TV. I suppose it could lead someone to believe that is all they've done but who cares?
You know what your DH has done this week with them. The kids know but that wasn't the question that was asked (I'm assuming). She was asked "What are you doing?" and she answered with what she was doing that very minute. Don't look into it too much.
I always ask the girls how their weekend was and what they did? Why? So that they know that I'm interested in their lives and what they did? I would expect their father to ask them how their week went and what they did as well. I see nothing wrong with it.
As far as the mother in law thing goes, that would be irritating but there isn't anything that can be done about it. She is who she is and isn't going to change. You go on and name your daughter (if you have one) after her grandmother and don't worry about what BM thinks, says, or does about it.
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TGSM
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/06/05
Posts: 5843
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That's a good point Dee and Debi. Young children do think in the now. So it is very possible they were just answering based upon what they were actually doing at the time.
We always ask my SS about what he did while with his mom. We too want to show interest in his life, etc. We always are supportive of him and respond in positive ways.
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Faith-a f*rm belief in something for which there is no proof...complete trust.~Merriam Webster
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mommynurse
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/26/05
Posts: 4386
Loc: Indiana
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I always ask my kids what they did at Daddy's house. But, I'm not looking for an opening to attack, just curious as to whether they had fun or not. But, there is a big difference in being curious and looking for a fight. If the BM asks my skids about what they did over the weekend, she's usually just looking for a weakness to prey upon. I really love it when they tell her I was mean (which is pretty often, I have to admit). She/They can't stand it if I make them pick up after themselves because "at mommy's house, we don't have to pick up". I have to bite my tongue, but just once I'd like to tell them that their lazy, effin mother has nothing better to do with her time. And homework? "Mommy says we can do it in the morning!" Uh, maybe that's the reason Mommy's mornings are so stressful she can't manage to get the girls to school on time. Hell, at all for that matter!
You're lucky that she only wants to name the baby after your MIL. My BM tried to pin baby #3 on my hubby, even though it had been 1.5 years since their last, ummm, joining. Even after blood tests, she still tried to work that angle. You know, they are only 99.9% accurate. The chance still exists that he is the boy's father. Okay, sister! I have a better chance of being struck by lightening 10 times in my lifetime.
But, since my MIL's name is Betty, I think I'd let her use the name if she wanted. No risk of me ever wanting to name my daughter after her.
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Handed lemons? Find someone else who was handed Vodka and have a party--Ron White
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Cinder2
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4361
Loc: Southern California
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LOL
Don't feel bad. We went to France with our kids and they all had to keep journals for their teachers. One day we went to the Louvre for a while and then had dinner on a nice boat on the river and walked around all over in between. My nine-year-old's journal: We had croissants for breakfast like always. I had chicken and fries for lunch. There was yucky salad for dinner. We walked a lot today." :)
Don't let it get you down and remember that sitting around with your parents is just as valuable as "having fun".
Cinder
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