MaryWhoCares
old hand
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 983
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I wouldn't put any more effort into her....if she wants more of a relationship, then she knows where to find you.
HUGS.
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Mary
When life hands you lemons, you make lemonaide!
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Terri1
journeyman
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 71
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I think it is the parent's responsibility to keep in contact with their adult children in a divorce situation. I am very fortunate. My children have been my biggest support during my divorce. Their dad left me for another woman. He tries to hide it but they aren't stupid. I say nothing bad about him and when I try to push my two adult children to contact him, they tell me they don't want to see him and to stay out of it. I actually feel kind of sorry for him. I know he would like a good relationship with them but they are really, really angry that he destroyed our family. He did the same thing when they were young but eventually he left his girlfriend and we reconciled and things were great for 15 years until he did it again. My daughter said that she didn't have choices about seeing him then (we had 50/50 custody because I thought that would be best) but she has choices now and does not approve of what he did and does not want to be a part of it.
I hurt for him and for my children. He isn't a bad dad, just a crummy husband. But my kids can't seem to forgive him yet for destroying our family (it's been six months). He contacts them less and less and I know part of it is because he can't tear himself away from his girlfriend and the kids refuse to be around her (he and I are still married and haven't filed for divorce yet) and part because he resents their not contacting him. But I really think he needs to keep trying with them. If he does, they will come around eventually. If he doesn't, I am afraid he will lose them forever. That is not what I want for my children but I have seen this scenario over and over with adult children of divorce.
If it were up to me, I would never have put my kids through this. No other person is worth harming your kids, no matter what their age, over.
But I will do my best to butt out as they have requested but I pray for them all every night. The only way those relationships will ever work is if he keeps trying. And he should have expected this to happen when he left. He didn't just leave a wife, he left an entire family.
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TGSM
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/06/05
Posts: 5843
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You have a wonderful attitude considering the circumstances. I commend you! ((HUGS)) and sorry for your situation.
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Faith-a f*rm belief in something for which there is no proof...complete trust.~Merriam Webster
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mommynurse
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/26/05
Posts: 4386
Loc: Indiana
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Divorce must be harder on adult children than younger children. My friend, who's 31, is having a really tough time dealing with her parents divorce. It's been two years and she's barely talking to her mother because she left her father for another man. It's really sad because mother and daughter were best friends. The GF believes her mother demolished her father (which she did) and she can never forgive her for that.
I'm glad that my parents divorced when I was one. At least I never had to take sides....
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Handed lemons? Find someone else who was handed Vodka and have a party--Ron White
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