movingonn
recently joined
Reged: 02/20/07
Posts: 2
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Considering divorce. No-fault state (CO).
Married 27 years, two children 15 and 13. Wife has bachelor's degree and made up to $80/hr as a consultant up until 10 years ago. She now works (by her choice) a part time minimum wage job, but has obtained a teaching certificate and subs occasionally.
I make about $100K. I have no problem with 50/50 split of assets or the usual child support, but I am flipping out over the prospect of spousal support for eons.
There are no health issues on either side. How long can I expect to pay maintenance, assuming she gets a teaching job?
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19804
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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Wife is in her late 40s/early 50s...looking at 10 - 15 years, possible minimal indefinate.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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movingonn
recently joined
Reged: 02/20/07
Posts: 2
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We married young...we are both 45.
10-15 years? What percentage of my income? Are you kidding?
I guess I was wrong to allow my wife to have the life she wanted. It seems terribly inequitable to be good to someone by allowing them to work a play job, splitting child duties 50-50, and then be penalized for it when they decide to move on.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19804
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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I guess I was wrong to allow my wife to have the life she wanted.
---> Oh puh-leeeeeeze...like you were getting the life you wanted too! I'm going to tell you the SAME thing I would tell your wife if she were coming here to complain...QUIT YOUR WHINNING!
---> How gracious of you to ALLOW your wife to work a "play job", what a wonderful man you are to actually "split" child duties...I'm sure it was just horrible for you to be a father.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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Susanf31
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
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I'm sure you, your children, your career, your homelife didn't benefit one iota by having a spouse who didn't work full-time.
You act like you are the only one who's going to suffer. Your wife will NEVER be able to make up the lost income he accured over the past 10 years. Your non-stop career/experience and subsequent high income will benefit you for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. It won't benefit her that long.
Yeah, you'll be looking at about 15 years of alimony. How much? Depends on what you can prove she's capable of making. $80 hr consulting jobs of 10 years ago might not exist today. The best she could probably do is become a full-time teacher at I'm guessing around $40k a year?? My GUESS, knowing no details of your situation, is that she'll get about $20k a year in alimony.
After a 27 year marriage, you don't just get to take your ball (your income) and leave the playground. That "ball" belongs to everyone after you've been married as long as you have. And if you go into this saying that she didn't contribute at all to your success, you'll look like a greedy a@@.
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Debbie_L
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/06/05
Posts: 2031
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If she's still capable of making $80 (or more since that was 10 years ago) consulting then she can obviously support herself. I think any alimony should be very short. I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time - and to me it seems weird that someone would want to work a part-time minimum wage job when they are capable of so much more. Why not just consult part-time for $80/hour? Oh yeah - because she had you to rely on to bring home the real money. I've never had that kind of dependancy on a man, nor have I ever made anywhere close to $80/hour - you can bet I would love to try though (the earning part - not the living off a man part)!
I do wish you luck in all this. Hopefully any alimony will be short term since she's obviously capable of earning a better living than most of the population.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19804
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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and to me it seems weird that someone would want to work a part-time minimum wage job when they are capable of so much more.
---> I guess it depends on who you want raising your kids...you or some stranger. Money is NOT everything you know.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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Debbie_L
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/06/05
Posts: 2031
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I never said money WAS everything. I still think it odd for someone to work part-time minimum wage when they could work part-time for much higher. He says he raised the kids 50/50, so she wasn't doing any more than him (from what I understand from the post).
PS - Want to bet that now that she's decided to DIVORCE him money won't be everything to her, lol.
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googledad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10207
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CO has some freaky & specific SS laws so count on her being granted temp. maintenance immediately . In awards for permanant SS ,the duration & standard of living established during the marriage and her ability to become self supporting are the defining factors . Good advice for you is to negotiate and NOT let a judge decide .
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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trophywife
member
Reged: 01/26/07
Posts: 166
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I would press for permanent alimony
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