crystald1130
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I have been divorced for about 2 years. My ex husband has only tried to see my son 4 times. Two of the 4 times I was abused by him in front of my son while he was visiting from out of state. He was very abusive to me while we were married. I did not bring up the abusive marriage up at the time of the divorce because my Lawyer told me it would cost me about 4,000 to contest it. And I couldn't afford it at the time. And I also held on to hope that he would change after we divorced and be a positive part of my son's life. I didn't want to keep my son from his father. But now he has been diagnosed with serveral differnt mental disorders and is getting chaptered out of the military for them. He has also gotton involved with a very wealthy lady and is now threatening to try and take my son. I know that he will never be able to do that. It is all a control factor with him and I want him out of my life. He is 3,000 behind on childsupport and has two other children that he doesn't see at all. What do I do? Continue getting abused everytime he decides to see my son? Is there anything I can do to prevent him from having contact? Or can I get supervised visitation?
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googledad
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What is the visitation schedule you have now ?
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crystald1130
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He gets him 14 days a year.
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crystald1130
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Let me say he gets 14 days by law but, he has only tried to see him 4 times in 2 years.
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PhoenixRising
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Mental disorders do not necessarily preclude ability to parent. Would need more info.
It would be better if you exchange at a neutral place like the police station.
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googledad
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He physically abused you ? Did you call the police ?
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Rebecca5
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Latine loqui coactus sum
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Rebecca5
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Do you have any proof of the abuse? What kind of abuse are we talking about?
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crystald1130
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Yes the police were called several times. And I was all so sent to the hospital many times.
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googledad
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Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum europe vincendarum
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crystald1130
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I was beaten in front of my 3 children and sent to the hospital.
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katiefedup
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It is only abuse if Gr8dad says it was.
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googledad
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Why haven't you petitioned the court for an order of protection ?
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Rebecca5
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Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri?
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Rebecca5
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Okay...that begs the question....
If you know this man is an abuser, why do you allow him to be alone with your child at all?
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googledad
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Sona si latine loqueris
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crystald1130
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At first I was tring to keep the peace as much as I could so that my son could see his father. But I have realized that I will end up dead if this continues for 14 more years. I'am in the process of that now.
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crystald1130
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By law I have to becuse it wasn't claimed in the divorce.
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Rebecca5
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Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
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Rebecca5
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Well...no. Who told you that?
Criminal law has nothing to do with your divorce. If he's a danger to your child, it can certainly be a separate issue.
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crystald1130
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The police told me that they can only keep him from visiting unless I have a restraining order. But that only keeps him from me he actually has to hurt my son to prevent the visitation.
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googledad
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Unless he's abused the child it's doubful you'll be able to prevent some sort of visitation .
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Rebecca5
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Things must be different 'round there. Up here, acts of violence against one makes you a risk for acts of violence against another.
I would seek out a couple of attorneys around there that offer a free consultation and see what they come up with.
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crystald1130
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Thank you!
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googledad
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There may be something in the laws of your state that could help you so where do you live ?
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crystald1130
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TN
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googledad
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Go after him for the CS , they don't mess around there .Is he making any payments ?
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Rebecca5
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There's a poster that comes here....Dee78....she had some DV issues with her ex, and she lives in TN. Maybe you could drop her a line and see if she has any resources.
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crystald1130
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He is paying through an allotment but the military will only take out a percentage and he refuses to pay what the court ordered.
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crystald1130
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But where should I start the Military or hire a Lawyer?
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googledad
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Do you recieve CS through TCSES ?
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crystald1130
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division of childsupport
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googledad
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TCSES should be helping you , contempt procedings , liens and if all else fails criminal charges for nonsupport .
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crystald1130
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As you can tell I don't know that much about the law. What is TCSES?
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googledad
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Tenn. Child Support Enforcement Services . Do you receive your CS through the military ?
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crystald1130
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well it is taken from his payin an allotment and I receive it from the CS division
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googledad
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Here's a link :
http://www.state.tn.us/humanserv/cs/cs_main.htm
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googledad
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The military will only do so much , TCSES can go after his personal property including liens on bank accounts .
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crystald1130
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Thank you so much!
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googledad
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You're welcome .
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Gecko
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The ONLY was you can stop him from being "abusive" is to call the police when he is. You can also do the exchanges as the police station, in a public venue or have a 3rd party with you who videotapes the exchange.
You cannot bring up ANY "abuse" that occured PRIOR to the divorce.
The ONLY way you could get SV is to prove to the court that he is a danger to the child.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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