googledad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10207
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Here's a question for you . To your way of thinking all is equal during the marriage . But in divorces , the spouse seeking SS entitled to " compensation for the contributions one spouse made to the family...that had a financial consequence to themselves but not to the other spouse . Why then isn't the other spouse entitled for a " rebate " for support provided during the marriage ?
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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Susanf31
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
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" rebate " for support provided during the marriage ?
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In my case, he already reaped and will continue reapeing the rewards of that support. He's making $150k a year and will continue to make more for the rest of his life due to the support he got from me during the first 14 years of his career.
He will benefit from my support for the REST OF HIS LIFE. I got 5 years of alimony for it.
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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Maybe you should have stayed with him?
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googledad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10207
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What support would that be ?
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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Susanf31
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
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What support would that be ?
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Perhaps you aren't familiar with my story. But we lost our 2nd born baby and third born D12 was a very sick baby. She had to have 24 hour care certified in Infant CPR, and able to give nebulizer treatments. Nurse ran about $500 a day, so obviously one of us had to quit our jobs to stay home with her. Since ex_h made more money than I did, we made the decision that I would quit my job and stay home with her. At the time, I was attending night school. Due to my ex-H's travel and the fact that no one else could watch her, I also had to quit night school. With the birth, and death of our 2nd child, and the pregnancy and birth of our 3rd child, in addition to the 2 years that she was very ill, 6 years had passed.
Then we moved out to colorado for his job, but due to his travel schedule and amount of hours he worked, I could only work parttime. He never had to miss a business trip, never had to tell his boss "no", we never had to pay a nickel of daycare costs... As soon as my oldest went kindergarten, I started working parttime. As they went to school more hours, I took on more hours at work.
He had TOTAL career freedom and I had total responsbility of the children. Including spending 6 YEARS of my life....2 of them sitting in my house in Florida, holding my baby and having to use CPR and bring her back to life because she would literally turn blue and try to die in my arms. No more than 20 minutes of sleep at a time for 2 YEARS.
During that time, my ex-H's career excelled. He got numerous promotions, raises, travel, etc... He was living a great life and even when we moved to Colorado he continued doing the same.
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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"He was living a great life and even when we moved to Colorado he continued doing the same. "
Sounds like you got the benefit of that "great life" too.
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Susanf31
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
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Well, if you call sitting at home with a sick baby who never slept for more than 20 minutes at a time, dying in your arms and having to perform CPR on her...while still recovering from your other baby's death...a "good life", then, yeah, I guess I had a good life.
If you call spending 6 YEARS of your life basically alone with 2 small children, no money and a husband who's traveling and hitting the strip clubs while on business a "good life", then yeah, I guess you are right. Our life was GREAT the first 4 years. No kids. Double income. Lots of fun and travel. The next 6 years were truly, truly helll. The last 4, he was cheating on me. The last 2, we didn't share a bedroom, but the money situation was a lot better. Would you call that a "good life?"
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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Then why Susan did you go on to have more children? If having children was a burden to you and halted your great career move and potential future, and you could not sleep and had to perform CPR daily (?) then WHY did YOU have MORE CHILDREN?????
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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Susan, just imagine if you were a single mom and you still had to work to support yourself and your child.
Having gone thru sick a child thing, there is NO way you only got 20 minutes of sleep at a time and still were even close to being functional.
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matart1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/01/05
Posts: 2798
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it is interesting that you wrote this to JennyLynn - I'm beginning to think that you are the master manipulator in this story. You're getting hear everythign you want to hear and when you don't hear it, you turn up the "poor me" story until you get what you want. - in the StepFamily board yet you do not see the similiaities within yourself.
everybody else certainly does and has been calling it for a long time.
it is a qoute one could say was "directly from the horse's mouth..."
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Life is a long lesson in humility.
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