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mommysteph
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Reged: 04/17/07
Posts: 28
Grandparents!!!!
      #223698 - 04/17/07 10:28 PM

I'm going to try and make this as short as possible.
My ex and I were never married. We were only together a short few months before I got pregnant. Welll... now that my son is 6 months old, his grandmother thinks she has every right to see him more than anyone else. I have never told her that she can't come to my home to visit with him. But she refuses to because it makes her "uncomfortable." I refuse to take him to her house because her & my ex chain smoke inside the home and she has 9 animals running around. 3 dogs and 6 cats to be exact and I DO NOT want my son in that type of environment. Everytime she doesn't get her way when she wants to see him, she threatens me by saying that I can't keep him from her and she will use every law she can against me.
I don't know what to do anymore. It is driving me insane!
HELP! :mad:


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googledad
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Reged: 12/31/05
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Re: Grandparents!!!! [Re: mommysteph]
      #223708 - 04/17/07 11:03 PM

What state do you live in and does the father have visitation ?

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mommysteph
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Reged: 04/17/07
Posts: 28
Re: Grandparents!!!! [Re: googledad]
      #223759 - 04/18/07 08:50 AM

We live in Ohio and we have never gone to court. I honestly don't think he cares. The last time he seen him was Easter and before that it was like two weeks! We went to a baseball game yesterday and he was there and didn't even acknowledge the fact that our son was even there!

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googledad
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Re: Grandparents!!!! [Re: mommysteph]
      #223760 - 04/18/07 08:55 AM

Ohio does allow for GP visitation rights . You don't have to allow any unless she brings a petition in court and then it will still be up to a judge whether it's allowed . Here's the applicable statute :
B)(1) In a divorce, dissolution of marriage, legal separation, annulment, or child support proceeding that involves a child, the court may grant reasonable companionship or visitation rights to any grandparent, any person related to the child by consanguinity or affinity, or any other person other than a parent, if all of the following apply:

(a) The grandparent, relative, or other person files a motion with the court seeking companionship or visitation rights.

(b) The court determines that the grandparent, relative, or other person has an interest in the welfare of the child.

(c) The court determines that the granting of the companionship or visitation rights is in the best interest of the child.

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mommysteph
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Reged: 04/17/07
Posts: 28
Re: Grandparents!!!! [Re: googledad]
      #223767 - 04/18/07 09:28 AM

Thank You! I have never once told her she can't see him, but she refuses to come to see him here. I will not let him go to their house. My son's dermatologist even told me to keep him away from that environment because of his eczema.

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Rebecca5
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Re: Grandparents!!!! [Re: mommysteph]
      #225202 - 04/22/07 12:17 AM

Your situation is more complicated than some, since you were never married to your child's father. If the father wants the child to come to his home (regardless of the fact that he shares it with his mother, it's still his home for the sake of parenting time), and you disagree....he's at a disadvantage.

It sounds like, and please correct me if I'm wrong, that your ex's mother kind of....wants to observe what would be your ex's parenting time.

Without your ex's cooperation, she's SOL. Even though you and your ex agree that this child is the product of both of you....nothing has been acknowledged by a court. In essence, it would be like her demanding visitation with a neighbor's child or something.

WITH your ex's cooperation, she wouldn't *need* to file anything in court....because she'd have the child in her home anyway.

The real question is....is time in their home in the child's best interest? Does dad have ample time with the child in other settings? I mean....you're concerned that dad doesn't show any interest in the child....but it's rather difficult to be interested in someone you don't have any opportunity to really *know.* If you refuse to allow the child in his home, what's he supposed to do?

I understand your concerns about the dogs and the smoking, but a judge would likely award *dad* (not grandma) parenting time in his home, unless you have proof of your concerns and a physician's statement saying the child can absolutely not be in that environment or it will cause him great harm.

Is there any chance you could compromise with *dad*? (Again...NOT grandma) Say....dad would agree to no smoking in the house? Unless your child has life-threatening allergies, I don't see what the problem with the pets is. I grew-up in a house with a couple of cats, my parents raised dobermans (as many as 4 to 15 dogs, at any given time)....and I managed to survive it.

At the moment, your ex is rather disinterested...so grandma doesn't really have a leg to stand on. If dad does begin to show some interest, and pursues this in court, you're going to have to figure out some arrangement that works. Your child needs both parents. Your best bet is to work on some compromise outside of court. It'll be cheaper and, ultimately, easier.


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mommysteph
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Reged: 04/17/07
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Re: Grandparents!!!! [Re: Rebecca5]
      #225211 - 04/22/07 08:21 AM

My son has severe eczema. His Dermatologist is who told me to try and keep him from that environment to keep his eczema from flaring. My ex understands where I am coming from with not letting our son go there. He has no problem coming here or going out somewhere to spend time with him. She just wants to make everything difficult because she is lazy.

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MTmom
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Reged: 08/23/07
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Re: Grandparents!!!! [Re: mommysteph]
      #280232 - 08/24/07 12:29 PM

BE CAREFUL!!

I am new here - but briefly, my x was just like yours. He had no interest in regular parenting time, but his mother did. She filed a petition to intervene into our parenting plan and asked for specific visitation and was granted NCP visitation in my ex's absense. I have spent years and thousands of $$ removing her from our parenting plan. I have succeeded, but it was financially and emotionally draining. Karen at www.parentsrights.org was instrumental in helping me to win my case.

Good luck!


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Goodmom
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Reged: 06/17/07
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Re: Grandparents!!!! [Re: googledad]
      #280539 - 08/24/07 10:59 PM

[quote](c) The court determines that the granting of the companionship or visitation rights is in the best interest of the child. [/quote]

And that is what will not get them visitation. Chain smoking around a child simply is not in their best interests.

The mother here isn't being unreasonable. She has invited them over to visit. The grandparents have said no.


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mommysteph
newbie


Reged: 04/17/07
Posts: 28
Re: Grandparents!!!! [Re: Goodmom]
      #284809 - 09/03/07 03:37 PM

Thank you for your replies.
It has been a couple months since either one of them have seen my son. They expect me to jump and run when they are ready to see him. They don't call, talk to me online, or email anymore. Life has been pretty good.
My son's first birthday will be coming up here soon, so we'll see if they show up.


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