Susanf31
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
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My husband grew up with maids! He would take off his clothes, drop them on the floor, and somehow or another, they would end up washed and folded in his dresser. It wasn't until he came to this country that he learned there was actually a process involed here. Still he figured it out. It is not rocket science.
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Yep, exactly. Except it was my grandmother. She'd come over every day and do our laundry, clean the house, make our beds...EVERYTHING.
Yet, somehow as an adult, I DID figure out how to run my own household even though I never had to do a lick of chores as a child.
Paying bills, cleaning the house, buying your first car...isn't rocket science and you don't have to be 18 or 19 when you start doing those things. If you start them at 22 won't make you a less successful adult.
Edited by Susanf31 (05/02/07 05:05 PM)
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supermansdaisy
addict
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 658
Loc: SC
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That is my thinking, also.
People say times are different now. Anyone stop to wonder why?
There is a show called "Worlds Apart" where an American family lives with a 3rd world community for 2 weeks and learns their daily life and culture. I wish I could take my family to do that. The families all say it was a life-changing experience for them, and they now view the world differently.
I know I had many chores as a child. I had to plan breafast/lunch menus and make the meals, do laundrt, clean the bathroom, etc. Chores rotated between siblings.
Not only did I learn how to plan, cook, and clean, but I gained respect for my parents and learned a certain work ethic.
It is hard to "teach" life lessons. You have to experience them.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19801
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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I am wondering what others' opinions are on this topic. More and more, it seems that it is more acceptable to allow your children to live with you long past the age of 18.
---> Actually, we're just going back to basics. Prior to the big divorce boom and having children out of wedlock became so popular (within the last 25 years)...parents didn't kick their kids to curb when they graduated from high school. Until the 60s...it was NOT unusal for "children" to live at home until they got married.
---> The fact is...our children are LESS prepared these days to enter the REAL world than they were just thirty years ago...which explains why so many "kids" move back home. For the last 20 - 25 years, we've handed our children life on a silver platter (whether sterling or plated). They have no conception of reality...of responsibility...of accountability. They've got credit card debt, they have expensive cars and student loans.
---> I look at our oldest daughter...she's 21 and lives at home and will probably be there for awhile yet because she can't afford to live on her own even though she's got a good job. Instead of paying her school debt and legal fines...she bought a PSP thingy with accessories and Gawd knows how many games. Instead of saving money, she's out partying and is constantly "broke". Mind you...she has NO "living expenses"...Dad doesn't charge her "room and board".
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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nrvouswrk
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/13/06
Posts: 2362
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Not so SM...My son has a very strong work ethic and has respect. He doesn't have to suffer in order to have gained that.
It isn't only the poor and struggling who have a monopoly on those traits.
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changes
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/07/07
Posts: 1820
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[quote]Right at this moment I'm thinking 2 of them are leaving today at ages 9 and 11! [/quote]
Tell'em to stick together and between them they got 20 years of experience to fall back on.
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If I agreed with you then we'd both be wrong.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19801
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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I don't know....I am just of the mindset that we are just giving our children too much these days.
---> I agree. I went through a recent CS mod...technically and legally, it should have been backdated and oldest daughter ordered to pay me back monies, but golly gee...that would have been just so wrong you know; let's take away HER responsibility and HER choice and NOT hold her accountable.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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supermansdaisy
addict
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 658
Loc: SC
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Nervous,
True.
Every child is different. Some are more inclined to be responsible.
I don't see it as suffering. I see it as "life".
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spinnerdegrassi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/20/06
Posts: 7947
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I know a very easy way to not let the entitlement attitude overwhelm me when it comes to my SD.
I say no, her mom says no, and her father says no. When she wanted a car a few years back, we all told her no. We weren't buying her one. If she wanted one, she could work for it. So she did. Same applied to a multitude of other scenarios.
Thankfully I don't have the inherent guilt complex that my wife and her ex do, and it allows me to stand as a voice of ojective reason when the child at times attempts to manipulate emotions to get her way.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19801
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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Some people say that kids should be kids...that they grow up so fast these days...I say bullshyt. My kids might be more knowledgable about certain aspects of "life" than what I was at their age, but I had a hell of lot more practical experience than they do.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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supermansdaisy
addict
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 658
Loc: SC
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Yea for you, Spinner! You also hit on a good point. How much of this overindulgence comes as a result of guilt? Wanting to overcompensate by giving more to children in monetary ways?
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