Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19804
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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One of the things my mother believed in (and therefore shared with me) was that you should only have children in a committed relationship - which, of course, meant married.
---> I agree.
She also believed that, barring widowhood, you should only have children with one man - which wasn't hard if you didn't believe in divorce.
---> No disrespect intended towards your mother, but is her belief so strong that she would force someone to stay in an abusive marriage? How about adultery, drug/alcohol addition, incest, pedophilia?
But doesn't divorce change all of that?
---> No.
What is the difference between having a child with a man you were never committed to and having a child with a man you are no longer committed to?
---> A marriage license.
Personally, I believe that is why the stigma of illegitimacy is disappearing - not because of a new enlightenment - but because divorce evens everything out.
---> Divorce had nothing to do with "illegitmacy"...having a child out of wedlock did. My mother's first husband was a bit of a rebel rouser and he promised her that once they got married, he would never get into trouble again. He didn't keep that promise and ended up in prison and so Mom saught to have her marriage annulled. Problem was...because said annullment would erase the marriage, Mom would now be a "unwed mother" and older sister's birth certificate would have to be changed to reflect that she was "illigetimate" with "father unknown".
---> In the 1970s...as "living in sin" gain social acceptace and was no longer considered a "sin", the laws were changed to strike "illegitmacy". So it was NOT "no fault" divorce that changed things...it was society's acceptance of "living together WITHOUT benefit of marriage"...or "domestic partnerships" as they are politically correctly called these day...that has contributed to the decline.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8835
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I hope to teach my children that certain things are wrong and immoral, but above all else they should treat people with kindness - regardless of their morality, the way they look, etc. Because that is a part of my morals as well. Instructing your kids that something is wrong does not necessarily mean giving them carte blanche to treat someone like a POS. At least it doesn't have to be.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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rocketgirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/24/04
Posts: 8562
Loc: On the beach in 14 years...
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I agree, Elliesmom... 100%.
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Lisa
Diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell, and them looking forward to the trip.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19804
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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I hope to teach my children that certain things are wrong and immoral, but above all else they should treat people with kindness - regardless of their morality, the way they look, etc.
---> Hate the sin, not the sinner. One of SO's brothers is gay...we still love him; my best friend's son is gay...we still love him; my oldest daughter has a girlfriend...we still love her.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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rocketgirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/24/04
Posts: 8562
Loc: On the beach in 14 years...
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But do you condone their lifestyle?
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Lisa
Diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell, and them looking forward to the trip.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26686
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I don't refer to him as my normal child now,I just refer to him as my child, so I guess I wouldn't call him abnormal, but I would surely tell him it is abnormal behavior, and if you think that being gay is normal, well we can do nothing but respect your opinion. If you want to practice homosexuality in your home because its normnal, thats fine also, but do you really think its so bad growing up in a home where you teach that homosexuality is abnormal, vs. you saying its normal, but don't practice it. Homosexuality and heterosexuality cannot both be normal, so which one do you really think is normal.
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