Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19803
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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There are a couple of posters who do not thing that alimony should EVER be awarded and I would like to know why.
I support alimony...when it is appropriate.
There are three types of "alimony": 1) Transitional Spousal Support, 2) Compensatory Spousal Support and 3) Spousal Maintenance:
1) "Transitional" (temporary) is for a party to attain education and training necessary to allow the party to prepare for reentry into the job market or for advancement therein and generally applies to SAHPs.
2) "Compensatory" is for when there has been a significant financial or other contribution by one party to the education, training, vocational skills, career or earning capacity of the other party.
3) "Maintenance" is for when there has been a contribution by one spouse to the support of the other for either a specified or an indefinite period...generally for marriages of twenty-five or more.
I don't think that "duration of marriage" is an appropriate benchmark to use in all cases...especially in Transitional Support. Why should a SAHP receive seven years of alimony for a fourteen marriage when they were only out of work for two years? I don't think that "custody" should have ANY bearing on alimony because alimony is about the MARRIAGE, NOT about PARENTING. I also don't think that the wage differences should be an automatic factor in determining alimony. Why should the higher wage earner be penalized because of their career choice?
I do think that "fault" should be a factor in determining any alimony. I don't think that someone who deliberately destroys their marriage through abuse, addition or adultery should "profit". I think that more scutiny needs to be applied to "irreconcilable differences" before granting alimony.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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Debbie_L
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/06/05
Posts: 2031
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Well said. To just make a blanket statement that alimony should never be awarded is pretty backwards (and punitive) in my opinion. I have never received it, but I wouldn't begrudge it to someone that needed/deserved it.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19803
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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I did receive it. We were married for 10 years, but I was only a SAHP for 4 and received alimony for 2. Alimony was based on the difference between what I was currently capable of earning and what I would have been earning had I stayed working and then divided by two since it was OUR decision.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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Debbie_L
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/06/05
Posts: 2031
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Sounds pretty fair to me.
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Susanf31
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
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I agree that it shouldn't necessarily be based on the length of the marriage.
I've known a few couples...who had the agreement...wife works and puts husband through college. Once the children reach school age, husband will support wife while she goes to college.
EXCEPT that a divorce happens before wife ever gets to college. The marriage might only be 5 years long, but in that case, I think H should support the wife in the same capacity she suppoted him until she is out of school and in the workforce. If that takes 5 years, after a 5 year marriage, so be it.
I think the people who are anti-alimony don't view marriage as a true UNION. As a true UNIT, where the successes and failures of both parties "belong" to both parties. Just because only one spouse goes off to work each day, doesn't mean the other spouse has done nothing to contribute to the spouse's successes, salary, and earning potenital.
Afterall, how does a person work full-time, work overtime, travel for work extensively, climb the corportate ladder without any complications, with young kids at home?
I know as a working parent, it takes a support system for taht to happen and it's wrong to say that person deserves NOTHING if the marriage fails.
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matart1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/01/05
Posts: 2798
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there are choices made going into a marriage and choices made exiting the marriage...nothing is ever written in stone.
I do not feel that incomes should be made equal - if incomes should be made equal then both people should be required to work in the same field. the reason the incomes are not equal is because of the choices that the people made on their own career paths.
not all things in life are equal....
if, and that is a big if, alimony is awarded - it should be within reason and it should come with restrictions (automatically there should be no remarriage or cohabitation and should end immediately with death, not some bs life insurance policy)
there should be "fault" to determine alimony.
meaning you want to walk away or cheat - good bye and no to the checkbook.
I think that if a person has a disability prior to marriage that is not a life sentenance to alimony.
a person who developes a disability should not reap a life sentance of alimony either - life is cruel and things happens but it would not be my husband's fault in the marriage if I developed carple tunnel on divorcesource....
alimony should be done within reason if it has to be done at all and unfortunately a lot of times I have only seen it abused more times than naught......it is funny now that after all these years that women have done the cry of poor me and alimony - more men in the last year to two have been posting about receiving alimony and women gripping about having to pay it to men and how unfair it suddenly is.....ironic don't you think...??
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Life is a long lesson in humility.
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trophywife
member
Reged: 01/26/07
Posts: 166
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I think it is hard to be married to most men, follow them from place to place and have children without future earnings being permanently reduced.
I think permanent alimony should be the rebutable presumption
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matart1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/01/05
Posts: 2798
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the choice then is not to marry and have children - not so hard to do when you think about it ..... kind of what do you want to be when you grow up .....sponge??
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Life is a long lesson in humility.
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Susanf31
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
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the choice then is not to marry and have children - not so hard to do when you think about it ..... kind of what do you want to be when you grow up .....sponge??
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Oh, lord! So now women/men who take time out of their working life to dedicate it to their family and raising children are SPONGES?
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trophywife
member
Reged: 01/26/07
Posts: 166
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that is yet another reason why we need permanent alimony as a rebutable presumption--to compensate for deadbeat men that want out of their responsibilities
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