nrvouswrk
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/13/06
Posts: 2362
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I think these anti-alimony "you could take classes online" gals must be, ...ahem.....SEVERLY younger than me!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I will be 50 this month. :)
I have known MANY, MANY teenagers who have really been harmed by having a SAHP instead of one who worked. I add myself, my sister, and my best friend to that mix.
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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[quote]Well said. To just make a blanket statement that alimony should never be awarded is pretty backwards (and punitive) in my opinion. I have never received it, but I wouldn't begrudge it to someone that needed/deserved it. [/quote]
Actually, to receive alimony is pretty backwards.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30372
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"through abuse, addition or adultery should "profit". "
Is multiplication okay? LOL!
Okay, I completely agree with you. I also think that if the earning spouse can prove that they TRIED to get the other spouse educated, but the other spouse made choices that stopped that, those attempts should be considered.
Example, I TRIED to get my ex to get her GED. Signed her up and paid for classes. She dropped out consistantly, screwed guys in the class, etc.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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onerose
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/30/05
Posts: 3151
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I am one of those that think SS should never be awarded. I have thought about all of the different scenarios and I still can not see it. Yes, even the handicapped child scenario. I could see that both parents have to support the child for life. But how do you deceide which parent? What if they both wanted to stay with the child? What if one parent dies? There are so many what if’s in this situation. Now if one parent wants to pay SS so the other parent could stay with the child. That is great. But the handicapped child is the least likely situation to happen out of all the ones
I will never understand the concept of SS. Ever. I know a lot of you disagree but it is just my opinion. I was raised to take care of myself and my responsibilities. I would feel iky if I took SS money from someone I was divorced from.
I was one of those terrible parents who put the child in day care at 6 weeks old. But they are turning out to be great adults. I would have much rather put them in day care and shown them how to work hard to achieve their goals, than to teach them to take hand outs from anyone. And for me, it would feel like a hand out to take money that I did not work for, from someone that I was married to at one time.
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nrvouswrk
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/13/06
Posts: 2362
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I couldn't agree more.
I asked my husband last night if something were to happen to our marriage, would he try and get SS from me. He said NO. He would never take anything that wasn't his. I promised him the same. I would NEVER want someone to be able to take credit for supporting me. Everything I have is because of working hard and paying for it myself. I would prefer to live on less, than have someone else support me.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19891
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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But pick whatever you like....things can be planned for...in general with lots of cash.
---> That's a nice little fantasy you have going on, but you're missing a couple of things...1) where are you going to get "lots of cash" and 2) even if you do manage to have a nice little "lot" that you've saved for a "rainy day", how long to you think it's going to last?
---> When ex and I got married, we had "plans" and started saving accordingly. Unfortunately...we didn't "plan" for the federal government's gross negligence and flat out stupidity in the name of "trade relations" to plunge our area into one of the worst "depressions" since the 30s! We had a good 6 months of "income" tucked away...it was gone in 3 because we weren't declared a "federal disaster area" until too late. When I was pregnant with our first child, I was going to take a year off and we had been saving for it...then the company husband was working closed, two days later I went into premature labor (6 1/2 months) and found out the company hadn't paid the premiums in three months. I had to quit my job to save the baby, took ex two weeks to find a new job...three months after our daughter was born, our "savings" were gone and we were forced to file bankruptcy.
Maybe cash is the food group that needs to be thought of before lots of costly choices are made early in a marriage.
---> There you go again with the word "choices". Do you think people make the CHOICE to lose their job, make the CHOICE to have a "special needs child", make the CHOICE to have a drunk driver plow into their car or have the transmission go out, make the CHOICE for the kid to need glasses or braces?
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19891
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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Is multiplication okay? LOL!
---> That falls under "adultery".
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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trophywife, I have seen some ignorant things come out of your keyboard, but this one beats all. It actually made me laugh. I needed a good laugh. Thank you.
No, men dont have many babies. All I can say to that is DUH. But, they are just as capable of it as we are. Some men do alot better than some of the women I have seen taking care of kids.
As for cleaning, my husband cleans when he sees something that needs to be done. My X kept the house immaculate. I know alot of men who clean better than their wives do. Heck, my dad does a better job at it than my mom and she doesnt work. So, before you go stereotyping, know what you are talking about.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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Marie_ss
member
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 100
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[quote]I couldn't agree more.
I asked my husband last night if something were to happen to our marriage, would he try and get SS from me. He said NO. He would never take anything that wasn't his. I promised him the same. I would NEVER want someone to be able to take credit for supporting me. Everything I have is because of working hard and paying for it myself. I would prefer to live on less, than have someone else support me. [/quote]
I'm anti-alimony as ALL adults should first be self-sufficient whether single, married or divorce.
Like you, I'm in my 50's, got an engineering degree, worked since college, married at 22 but we chose not to have our son until I was 30. My ex and I divorced amicably after 20 years when our son was 12 (he's now almost 22, a college senior, and a very caring adult) - no spousal support exchanged because we were both working adults. Our son didn't suffer because he went to daycare as a toddler - in fact, it helped prepare him for kindergarten because he needed the time with other kids and not just adults. I didn't hit glass ceilings because I was a CP mom - work hard and you will be recognized in your field.
It's unrealistic to say that alimony should equalize income because not everyone has the same earning potential. Standard of living for both parties in a divorce is lower because two separate households are supported on the same total income. In this day and age, there is no reason why anyone should NOT pursue educational and work opportunities before, during, and after a marriage.
I've been remarried now for almost 10 years and both my current hubby and I agreed that a prenup was unnecessary, and that alimony is an evil word :-)
Edited by Marie_ss (05/04/07 01:39 PM)
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19891
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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Like you, I'm in my 50's, got an engineering degree, worked since college, married at 22 but we chose not to have our son until I was 30. My ex and I divorced amicably after 20 years when our son was 12 (he's now almost 22, a college senior, and a very caring adult) - no spousal support exchanged because we were both working adults. Our son didn't suffer because he went to daycare as a toddler - in fact, it helped prepare him for kindergarten because he needed the time with other kids and not just adults. I didn't hit glass ceilings because I was a CP mom - work hard and you will be recognized in your field.
---> I see no reason why you should receive alimony either, but your situation is just that...yours. Now had some of the circumstances been a little different...say you had been a SAHP for four years AT the time of the divorce, it would NOT be unreasonable for you to receive some Transitional Support for a couple of years while you got up to speed in your field.
---> As I said...there are times when alimony/spousal support is warranted and other times it is not.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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