upset
recently joined
Reged: 05/05/07
Posts: 1
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Am I entitle to chld support during my separation. In NC we must be leagally separated before we can divorce. Therefore, we must not be living under the same roof. How is alimony paid. I have suspected my spouse of being unfaithful but the only thing I have are rumors and his cell phone bill, which shows he called this person every minute of the day. Is that enough?
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3032
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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No.
You are entitled to child support with a separation agreement and a court order -- you have to file a motion in order to obtain child support for your children.
Suspicions of infidelity aren't enough -- and even when there's absolute incontrovertible proof, the courts really don't care any longer, as long as it doesn't impact someone's ability to be a good parent.
Do yourself a favor -- head into a court to get child support established, move out of the residence if you want to and seek an attorney's advice about the best way to do things. You do NOT get alimony simply because your husband had an affair.....
How old are your children? How long were you married? What is your financial situation?
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googledad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10207
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Alimony is spousal support. In North Carolina, alimony can be obtained only when the financially dependent spouse can demonstrate that the supporting spouse has committed marital fault. Because of the complexity of the grounds for alimony, an attorney should be consulted regarding any questions about them.
To obtain alimony, a spouse will have to show (1) that the breakup of the marriage was essentially the fault of the other spouse, (2) that he or she is essentially without fault as to the breakup of the marriage, and (3) that he or she is actually and substantially dependent upon the other spouse for support. A spouse seeking alimony can be held responsible for misconduct even after the separation of the parties and until there is a final resolution of the alimony claim. A claim for alimony is forfeited if it is not put forward before a divorce is granted.
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19804
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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Am I entitle to chld support during my separation. In NC we must be leagally separated before we can divorce. Therefore, we must not be living under the same roof.
---> If you aren't living together, then yes, you would be entitled to receive CS if the kids live with you, but otherwise no.
I have suspected my spouse of being unfaithful but the only thing I have are rumors and his cell phone bill, which shows he called this person every minute of the day. Is that enough?
---> No. I have several friends that I call or email regularly, but I am not having sex with them nor considering havings sex with them or have any kind of relationship outside of platonic friendship.
---> I would also be very careful about "rumors"...some people LIKE to cause trouble and some people cause trouble through ignorance/stupidity. For example...let's say that your husband hasn't been as "romantic" as he normally is...maybe he has some health issues, isn't sleeping well, going through some stress at work and being a woman, it is not unusal to confind in your friend. Then one day, this friend or another friend is at lunch and sees your husband having lunch with another woman or maybe they are walking down the street together or getting into the same vehicle. In the meantime, you notice an unfamiliar number showing up on your husband's cell phone bill...you run it through Reverse Directly and discover it belongs to someone name "Chris Jones". You ASSUME that "Chris" is a woman and that this woman is the one your friend or friend's friend saw with your husband and they are having an affair. But the reality...your husband was having lunch with a client named Patty Smith or the woman in his car was a co-worker named Jane Brown and they were going to a meeting or he was simply giving her a ride to the shop to pick up her car. And "Chris Jones"...he's a man...new friend, new co-worker, new client.
---> Instead of heading for the divorce court, why don't you intead find out what is going on. Ask him. Tell him about the "rumors", ask him about the phone number.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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upset,
You want to be paid money because you suspect your husband is having sex with someone else ? Later on you want to be paid money after the divorce is completed ?
Lets make it simple, goldy...IS THERE ANY SITUATION WHERE YOUR HUSBAND SHOULD NOT PAY YOU ? ANY SITUATION AT ALL ? What if he died ? You'd still want the checks, right ?
Pardon while I vomit on the grave of women's liberation.
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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You want to divorc the father of your children because you SUSPECT he's having/had an affair? I think you really need to think about that before you make any rash decisions.
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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breezi_nite
recently joined
Reged: 05/11/07
Posts: 2
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Hi! I don't think you gave enough information for others to be able to form an opinion as to whether or not you deserve this or that (but they did) and also enough info regarding grounds for divorce BUT then again, you were asking a point blank question and not asking for judgment, am I right?
Yes, you most definitely deserve and should get child support during the separation. To not to would be ridiculous if the children are living with you. You would need to speak with your lawyer, file papers or whatever to get this done and should do so right away for your children's sake.
Alimony is a whole a different ballgame. Alimony may be given if one commits adultery but a lot more is involved other than just adultery. You would need to consult your attorney to see if you might first be eligible for alimony but also ask yourself if you really need it, do you deserve it, and what possible harm might I cause by asking for it (for example, the arguing and resentment that might come from it if you are only asking to get some kind of revenge).
Please do not forget the children that belong to both of you. Children are much wiser than we often give them credit for. They will see and hear much of what goes on between you and your husband and possibly they will feel as one parent wronged the other. Don't be the parent that your children remember as behaving badly and deliberately setting out to hurt their father in any way you can.
Will your husband have a HONEST heart to heart talk with you? God bless your children however this turns out!
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Quote " Alimony may be given if one commits adultery... "
Well, if the law were fair then alimony would be awarded if one has a headache, right ? Your wife has a headache, you dump her, take the kids, and she owes you alimony, right ?
Quote " Children are much wiser than we often give them credit for..."
That is why I advocated copying the kids on all email communication between divorcing parents. They understand that for mom to keep getting more and more money from Dad is wrong.
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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I told all you "ladies" before THE VERY FIRST THING A WOMEN THINKS ABOUT IS GETTING MONEY IF HER SPOUSE IS HAVING AN AFFAIR.
You all denied that, but here it is again...
Why is it that you can prevent your spouse from having sex with you, and that is OK. But if your spouse has sex with someone else, you want to be REIMBURSED ?
Why is there such a direct connection between sex and money with you women ? Are ALL women really just prostitutes ? Can't you guys make money any other way ?
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26686
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You are too funny
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