CiCi
addict
Reged: 03/28/07
Posts: 493
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Remember my post about ex not calling our daughter or answering my questions (messages)about household things? FINALLY, it came out that he's been carrying on an affair for well over a year - which means before he moved out. His work took him to South America (Chile) quite often and I totally encouraged him to go and enjoy himself. I'M SO STUPID!!! How could I have not known! He used his vacation time and probably our joint money to go down there and spend time with her.
Now, this woman is visiting him in CA and this is why he hasn't been in communication with us....because he's busy entertaining her. I'm so heartbroken and devistated! It's not like I didn't have my hunches...but when the reality of it hits, I feel so beaten down and small. I've been crying for the last 24 hours. He says he loves her and wants to marry her. Our divorce isn't even signed by the judge yet, so it's not even final. And what if he marry's her and moves to South America?
Why would he trade life with his daughter for another woman? I'm so baffled - even though I realize that people do it all the time - but I just cannot comprehend. I'm not a bad person, yet, somehow I feel like I must deserve this?
It is written into our parenting that he or I cannot introduce our daughter to any significant other for at least a year. We both agreed that it would be wise for our daughter to have at least this much time to adjust to divorce and go through her grieving proces.
Why do I feel so stupid? Why am I making this about me, rather than about him being a liar and a scum-bag father who really doesn't prioritize his child?
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Remember: A clean house is the sign of a wasted life.
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JustMeAndThree
old hand
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 993
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Becuase it's human nature, especially for females. Though I think you know deep down that it's NOT your fault and nothing you could have said or done would have changed his ways. Just try to focus on the fact that the decisions were HIS, that HE screwed up. For me, reminding myself that my kids need me to be strong helps me keep it together. If it weren't for them I probably would have cracked a long time ago. They are my rock!
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Slap yourself, that wasn't funny.
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Cici,
Any women from another country will be a huge improvement over an american women. Any american women.
Lucky guy, why don't you leave him alone ?
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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Many sad and pathetic people ddecide that other countries have cultures that produce women who have better values. read that as subservient values. Thus, the popularity of the Russian, Phillino and other brides. Generally those relationships last about as long as it takes to get a Green Card. They ultimately discover it is an idiot like yregna.
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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.
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Char Fox
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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I just received three complaints from idiots who protest the analogy.
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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You'd heard from "he who shall not be named". Then I realized *I'd* be dissing idiots.
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Char Fox
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Renee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4022
Loc: The Palmetto State
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funny - I bet I know which idiots too. They all showed up around the same time as he who shall not be named.
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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They likely are ALL "he who shall not be named". He's always had an identity crisis.
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Char Fox
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JustMeAndThree
old hand
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 993
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I sure wish I knew who and what ya'll were talking about LOL
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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Who...nobody.
What...errr well, that's still up for debate.
Suffice to say, IT is a previously banned poster who's so insecure with itself that it goes out of its way to find ways to get back in where its not wanted just to show everyone how badly it needs attention. It shall not be named because well...its NAME has been added to the censored words here. LOL!
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Char Fox
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JustMeAndThree
old hand
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 993
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alrighty then...sounds interesting.  I think i can take a wild guess what IT is. And your last post explains a lot LOL
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Renee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4022
Loc: The Palmetto State
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...don't worry. I'm sure you'll get the pleasure of reading ITs posts sometime in the not so distant future. IT usually comes out of the woodwork around holidays, or whenever his mommy locks him in the basement with a case of beer and he's bored with spanking wanky.
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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Don't give me that visual after I've eaten! Blech!
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Char Fox
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55kmh
recently joined
Reged: 12/30/09
Posts: 5
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WOW! I feel so sorry for you and I am dealing with the same issues, but my sons are older 25 and 22, but he lives only 10 miles from us and he did not visit on Christmas and is taking my life down the tubes. We have been married 32 1/2 years, he filed in may and he is the only man I have ever known, 35 years. I wish the world was different for all of the victims, but in reality our hell is on earth.
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