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ibcnu
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Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 6
Loc: Utah
7 years still no property division!
      #250579 - 06/17/07 05:34 AM

My ex & I were married nearly 10 yrs. have 2 daughters 2gether. I filed for divorce in 2001. We did not have a mortgage on our home at the time and we were both ordered not to dispose of or encumber any of the assets. 3 weeks later, in direct violation of the court order, my ex took out a new first mortgage for $245,000 on the marital house, of which he received all of the loan in cash to him. All of our properties were always in his name because he was a control freak. So I filed a lis pendens on all the other remaining properties to prevent that from happening again. The house went into foreclosure but my ex, let's just call him(P)was ordered to go to jail if he didn't get the house current immediately. He borrowed money from his Mom and brought the payments current. In the meantime, I was given sole custody of the children. I can not get (P) out of my life. We still have not gone to trial for the divison of the rest of the assets. I owe my attorneys over $200,000, we lost one of our properties to foreclosure and his brother was the successful bidder. We had a cash offer for 5.2 million and (P) refused to accept it and instead let the property go to foreclosure so his brother could be the successful bidder at 3.6million. There is so much collusion going on between him and his family and he is in no hurry whatsoever to go to trial to get this resolved. We have another parcel that is worth about 5 million but he just recorded a trust deed back to his children from a previous marriage, once again in violation of the court order, but he is doing everything he can to make sure that I don't get anything. I have since remarried, and I am continually put in a really bad spot. My ex will show up on days that are not his scheduled visitation days and he knows I won't throw a fit in front of the kids so I allow him to take them..I don't want him to keep walking all over me because he knows he can. My new husband is losing his mind because I don't stand up for myself better. I am wondering if it is legal for me to give consent for my new husband to be my voice in all communication with my ex because I am incapable of standing up to him, while my new husband is very good at that kind of stuff and I believe that if (P)is forced to obey visitation guidelines the likelihood of us being able to resolve things will improve. It's late so this may not make much sense but I will take any advice anyone can help me with. C

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1004SRS
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Reged: 12/11/06
Posts: 5044
Re: 7 years still no property division! [Re: ibcnu]
      #250593 - 06/17/07 07:27 AM

You are remarried? Holy crap! Still working on the divorce from husband #1? Wow! I am shocked.

Be happy that your kids Dad wants to spend time with them. Enjoy yourself whie they are gone. I forced my X to take the kids this weekend, so that I could clean my house and work in the yard. (He was seeing them one weekend a month)

Can you and your lawyer hammer out some type of settlement together? Something fair?


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1004SRS
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Reged: 12/11/06
Posts: 5044
Re: 7 years still no property division! [Re: 1004SRS]
      #250607 - 06/17/07 08:36 AM

Honestly, I've now read some of your other posts. It is time for you to pull yourself together and grow up. It sounds harsh. But egads.

You are remarried. You complain that X takes your kids when he's not supposed to. You complain that he takes them to his house that he owns with his secretary. You've filed contempt charges 13 (13!#!!!) times and wonder why X laughs. You've spent $200,000 in legal fees. Your name isn't on any of the properties that you are arguing about.

You need to step up to the plate and grow up. Your current husband is going to get tired of the crap eventually.


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ibcnu
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Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 6
Loc: Utah
Re: 7 years still no property division! [Re: 1004SRS]
      #250952 - 06/18/07 09:22 AM

Understood! However, the properties were bought during our marriage and with marital funds. My attorneys have not been paid anything yet and if I don't get my fair share from the properties then they will have no way to collect what they are owed because I have no other assets. Yes, my current husband is tired of the crap already, as am I.. EAsier said than done to grow up and step up to the plate.. When one is in the middle of a situation it is harder to see things clearly than one looking from the outside in.. So, tell me your suggestions on how I step up to the plate and grow up.. I'm listening..:-)

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ibcnu
recently joined


Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 6
Loc: Utah
Re: 7 years still no property division! [Re: 1004SRS]
      #250956 - 06/18/07 09:27 AM

I have given my ex several settlement proposals. I even offered to take just 20% and he could keep 80% and he still said no.. Then the night before a hearing was scheduled with Judge Lewis, (you may remember her.. she was the Judge in Utah that was ousted off the bench this year) My ex brought me over a settlement agreeement giving me 32.5% and he would be keeping the rest. However, my new husband took the proposal, tore it in two, and taped it to the garage door because it said "joint custody" and there is no way I will agree to joint custody when my ex lives with my little sister during the week and his secretary on weekends. I do not come from a Jerry Springer family but my ex has managed to make it seem that way by screwing up my little sisters brain for years.

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BeachBabeRN
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Reged: 01/16/06
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Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
This is ridiculous........ [Re: ibcnu]
      #256277 - 06/30/07 11:25 PM

I took the time to read all three threads that you started.

What is it EXACTLY that you want? That is very unclear....

Jiont custody is usually the default custody status these days, you may not get around that.

How has your ex screwed up your sister's brain? And why was he permitted to do it?

You currently owe your attorney over 200K -- is this WORTH the effort and aggravation? For me it wouldn't be.....

Is it worth possibly losing your new husband? All the drama that goes on here must be quite exhausting, I'm tired just reading it!

If this were me, I'd ask that my attorney's fees be taken care of by my ex **who appears to be well able to afford it** and get OUT of Dodge. Why bother fighting over money for God's sake?

This is NOT your new husband's fight and for his own sanity, he really should stay out of it. Put on your big girl panties and make some hard decisions......

This is SO not worth the effort you're putting into it.


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Redlegg
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Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 27436
Re: This is ridiculous........ [Re: BeachBabeRN]
      #256293 - 07/01/07 06:34 AM

Here is my question, isn't custody settled at the time of divorce and already established. And if it is not joint custody now, how can he even see the kids. I understand property settlements can drag on for years, but if there is no custody order in place then what stops him from taking his kids and just having them live with him.

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