salinah20
recently joined
Reged: 06/21/07
Posts: 7
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He got the test taken to court because the school system needed the signature of both parents to be able to test him. He refused to sign, and told me and the school that there was nothing "wrong with him", his reading problems were just a result of having me as a parent. He took that defense to court too...
I'm not talking about removing his rights. I'm talking about moving out of the state. He'll still have the right to visit with his children - and I'm betting he'll use it just as often as he does now.
If he has to file any kind of paperwork with the courts to fight the move, I won't have to go to court. He doesn't file paperwork, just shows up on court dates - drove my lawyer and the judge nuts.
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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Quote:
Ok, if he has so little contact, how did he manage to get a test for Dyslexia taken all the way to court and doesn't that make you think that you will at least be going to court to see if you can move. It sounds like a crappy situation, but do you think you should be taking his rights away regardless of what he thinks. I understand he sucks as a dad, but what does that have to do with the rights. Why not go through it the right way, have his rights terminated and then do what you thinnk is best.
This is a typical case of spmeone "rationalizing" anything. Of course, Dad is an evil neglectful monster as long as painting him that way someway justfies her actions. It appears he has gone to court a number of times. Yes, a real uninvolved father.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26686
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As a parent with rights I will get my son tested for whatever I think he needs to be tested for, and the school is not the only one who does the testing. But thats me.
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salinah20
recently joined
Reged: 06/21/07
Posts: 7
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You know, I feel like I'm being attacked here, just for asking a question. I thought that's what this forum was for, maybe I was wrong...
I tried to take the testing private. They all asked why the school wasn't doing the testing, and when I told them why - they all said they would need the same thing. I finally starting lying to the testing places saying I didn't know why the school wouldn't test him - but when they called the school to talk to the teacher and get his records and information, the school told them dad didn't approve. I did try to do the testing as you suggest you would have done, and was blocked at every turn...
As for "rationalizing" things - he takes me to court for things to "make me waste my money on a lawyer" his exact words to me. I never said he was evil, or that he was a monster. I don't believe he's either of those things.
If you believe a father is "involved" simply by forcing a court case everytime something comes up, than that's fine with me. I however believe involved should mean that he at the very least actually talks to his children occasionally.
Thank you to PhoenixRising for the advice on how to proceed. Relayer and Redlegg - I wish you luck in your own custody matters, I'm done validating my actions to you.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26686
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There are things you can do without his consent, and things you can't do. Moving out of state is denying him his rights, if he does not want his child to leave. You painted the picture of an uncaring dad who does not care what happens, but he seems to be fighting you on every action. Maybe he is spiting you through your child, if this is the case, maybe his rights do need to be terminated. I would get my son tested and the help he needs no matter what the cost, which you did. I am not questioning anything about you as a parent, only the fact that you say he is so uninvolved, but he seems to involve himself repeatedly. It just sounds like he lives to torment you. You don't need to validate anything to me, I figure I am a reasonable person and those were the questions and observations that came to my mind. Personally it sounds like you want to do the right thing for the kids, and he doesn't. I actually do not have any custody matters, and I hope it works out for the kids, and for you.
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2015
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Quote:
ya, but away from him..sorry..why dont you just go yourself and leave the kids with him (and dont give the BS he doesnt want them). Then YOU can be long distance..
Perhaps you missed the part where she clearly stated that HE WASN'T BOTHERING TO VISIT HIS CHILD?
If he was, I would agree with you. But he has shown he isn't interested in the father/child bond.
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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Who cares where YOUR relatives are. 1/2 your kids relatives are where you are now.
And how do you know THAT? She didn't mention anything, thus far in the thread, about where HIS relatives were and evidently if HE doesn't have a relationship with his children, it's unlikely his children have a relationship with his relatives.
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The best we can do is live our lives with enlightened improvisation.
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sadie85
recently joined
Reged: 07/13/07
Posts: 14
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I haven't read all of the replies (any of them actually), but I would include as much info in it as possible. You want to state all of the POSITIVE reasons for the move. Also mention that he hasn't been around. That will help your case. Obviously if he protests, there is a chance you won't really be able to move.. so I wouldn't plan anything out too much until you have it into the court and have given the 45 day notice.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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"The school systems are great down there."
HA HA HA HA HA HA, ROFLMAO...
We can't even vote correctly.
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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"The school systems are great down there."
HA HA HA HA HA HA, ROFLMAO...
We can't even vote correctly.
I lived down there too for awhile and they aren't better than anywhere else, thats for sure.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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