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Reged: 03/13/07
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Re: Can a Wife force a Divorce in NY with no Groun [Re: Im_Hosed]
      #264063 - 07/19/07 06:33 AM

Quote:

Honestly dude -you really are so entrenched in bitterness that there is no debating you. The reality is that I am out $ no matter what. I might as well make a bad situation as good as I can to live w/ my family and future rather than turn it into more of a nightmare. If you let the dark side take hold, it only makes you look back and not forward.




Seriously dude, yes yrenga comes off as radical and he is but honestly, you need to protect yourself now or down the line you will be sorry. In your situation, the odds are grim and unfortunately, divorce tends to bring out the worst in people. Most here will agree "the one they loved" suddently turned into a raving lunatic..a "person they never knew"..that is a sorry fact in a lot of divorces..if divorces went as planned and were fair and there were no problems, Divorce Source wouldn't exist. You have a stbx who hasn't worked much, wants the kids, will get the house and you make decent dough..this IS NOT GOING TO TURN OUT WELL..believe me...

I blame a lot of it on lawyers, who whip their clients up into quite a frenzy (on both sides). Going into your first divorce, you absoultely need an attorney. Never go pro se until you at least learn some of the code of civil procedure..you WILL be HOSED otherwise...

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GO CUBBIES!!!!


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Im_Hosed
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Reged: 07/16/07
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Re: Can a Wife force a Divorce in NY with no Groun [Re: PhoenixRising]
      #264111 - 07/19/07 09:03 AM

Excellent and insightful feedback both of you -thank you.

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Lotsoflight
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Reged: 07/02/07
Posts: 105
Re: Can a Wife force a Divorce in NY with no Groun [Re: Im_Hosed]
      #264133 - 07/19/07 09:32 AM

Getting an attorney does not mean things will suddenly become contentious, it means you are protecting yourself. My ex's behavior towards me and willingness to FAIRLY work things out spoke volumes over whether or not he had an attorney.

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"When all you got to keep is strong, move along, move along like I know you do."


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Im_Hosed
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Re: Can a Wife force a Divorce in NY with no Groun [Re: Lotsoflight]
      #264136 - 07/19/07 09:39 AM

ATTENTION ALL READERS OF THIS THREAD: I am not against engaging an Attorney! I have one on the hook but I am going to mediate an agreement with what I think are fair terms and then have him/her look at it BEFORE I actually sign anything. If I don't sign, it just means we are back to square 1 but I now know the parameters of my STBX negotiating position. Win-win as far as I can tell as it keeps things civil in the beginning without handing my control off to a lawyer right away (saves a lot of $ too). Thank you.

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Lotsoflight
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Reged: 07/02/07
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Re: Can a Wife force a Divorce in NY with no Groun [Re: Im_Hosed]
      #264152 - 07/19/07 10:06 AM

Quote:

ATTENTION ALL READERS OF THIS THREAD: I am not against engaging an Attorney! I have one on the hook but I am going to mediate an agreement with what I think are fair terms and then have him/her look at it BEFORE I actually sign anything. If I don't sign, it just means we are back to square 1 but I now know the parameters of my STBX negotiating position. Win-win as far as I can tell as it keeps things civil in the beginning without handing my control off to a lawyer right away (saves a lot of $ too). Thank you.




Which is exactly what we are doing. We sat down and looked through all the financials and discussed custody, noted it and turned it into the attorney.

--------------------
"When all you got to keep is strong, move along, move along like I know you do."


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Im_Hosed
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Reged: 07/16/07
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Re: Can a Wife force a Divorce in NY with no Groun [Re: Lotsoflight]
      #266947 - 07/26/07 10:11 AM

Update: My stepmother has intervened and calmed things down. We are both in counseling and did a marathon 2 hour session this week! A lot of things were said but it looks like the crisis is averted (for now) as we have both agreed to try and make it work. Thank you all for you assistance -let's hope it lasts...

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