celesteanne
enthusiast
Reged: 03/12/05
Posts: 313
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Our son is 3 and he will not be eligible for pre-K until next year. Right now I have him enrolled in a variety of music classes, art classes, swimming lessons, sport groups and play groups that fills up our week pretty well. His father wants him enrolled in all day nursery school program. I disagree. I am remarried and my husband provides so I can be a stayhome mother to my son,his stepson. Amazing man...different story.
I am wondering how may of you out there think that all day nursery school for a 3 year old is actually beneficial. One thing I am concerned with is that he has a bit of a speech delay and I do not want his first academic experience to be frusterating for him and cause him to dislike school from the beginning. I am open to a morning program, say 8:30 to 12:30 but a full day seems a bit much at age 3.
Please...would love to hear opinions.......
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Rebecca5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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All day seems like a lot for a 3 year old. For people who need all day care, I don't think it hurts anything. But if you are able to stay home and enjoy these years, then I would.
As for the speech delay....
My son has a huge speech delay. In fact, he didn't speak at all until he was 4. School hasn't been a problem at all. If you make it a big deal...so will he. :-)
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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Funny-I just had this conversation yesterday with my husband.
I was at the pool and a woman was telling me how smart her son was because he went to a 3 year old Montessori program and that he could count to 100, and read, and blah, blah.
First off what does a 3 YO really need to "learn"? Maybe how to share, verbalizing feelings, fine tune motor skills, maybe sing nursery rhymes.
I personally think all day programs are way too much, especially if you can afford to stay home. That defeats the purpose of staying home.
Afterwards I was second guessing myself. I looked at my 3 YO son who was blowng up a balloon and asked him what color it was. He looked at me and said "blue". The balloon was orange. Oh well back to the drawing board:)
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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...I agree that a full day program is a bit much for a three year old.
But on the other hand, YOU have decided that he be in music, art, swimming lessons, sports, etc. So it really isn't fair to say that YOU have decided what will fill the child's time, but Dad deciding day care is just "too much".
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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KaysMom
journeyman
Reged: 06/03/04
Posts: 65
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I agree that a full day is too much. I would highly encourage you to look at half-day programs, though, even if it's only 3 days per week, just to start getting your child used to school.
If the classes he takes are anything like the ones I put my D into at 3, they're mostly Mommy & Me type things. Those are excellent both developmentally and with regards to parental bonding, but some classes on their own is good for them, too. If he's in some of those (even where you wait outside, or come in for the last 1/4 of class for "sharing"), then he's getting a lot of what you'd look for in a good preschool: learning to share, waiting to take his turn, listening to an authority figure (teacher or coach rather than parent), socialization, etc.
Before Kindergarten (at least around here, where they use the Brigance Screening), the child must be able to write their full name, identify colours, identify and copy shapes, count to 10, count objects and do simple math with them... just an incredible amount of things. What you want to be looking for now are things that will give him the tools he will need when he reaches that point. Preschool fits the bill for some, but if you are an involved parent, and you're planning on pre-K next year, that might be fine. I'd still probably look at part time programs, though, simply because going from a full day (every day) with Mom right to a full day of school is tough. My D (she's 4 1/2) will go to pre-K next year, and she did a half-day preschool program this year. My nephew (who is also 4 1/2) will be going to a half-day pre-K this year, but this will be his first year of anything other than day care. I really think it differs with each child, whether they need some of the half-day program before going into a full day or not. Since you have the ability to stay home with him, I would definitely not do a full time preschool this year, since if he's getting what he needs at this point, time spent with a parent is obviously better for him than time spent waiting at preschool. At his age, half day is more than enough.
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Melody
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
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Mom, who I'm guessing is the primary custodial parent, has the right to direct activities for her child during her parenting times....which sound suspiciously as if they are weekdays. Cultural and recreational programs are merely entertainments and exposures to a myriad of interests. Dad is attempting to deny the child such exposure by placing him into a full day preschool...which is essentially a daycare center...and niether appropriate or necessary for a child with a mother who is able to be at home and available to him. Sounds like Dad is simply jealous of the time Mom gets to spend with the child and is attempting to ruin it. Dad can't dictate what is done on Mom's parenting time....just as Mom can't dictate what is done on Dad's parenting time. So...yes, it's fair that mom enrolls the child in any darned thing she sees fit...provided it does not impinge upon any of Dad's parenting time.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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"Dad can't dictate what is done on Mom's parenting time....just as Mom can't dictate what is done on Dad's parenting time"
We are not talking about taking the child to the amusement park, we are talking about the child's education. To apply the rule above, one parent could decide to send the child to ANY school they wanted, and as long as it didn't impinge on EOW, the other parent couldn't say a word. But joint legal doesn't say that.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Cinder2
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4361
Loc: Southern California
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gr8dad, I agree that joint legal means making decision about the child's education, but full-time nursery school for a three year old is not completely educational. Most nursery schools are educational in the morning (like 8 or 9am until 11 or 12), then there is lunch, nap, and day care for the rest of the day. I don't think the dad can insist that the child go to day care rather than be with his mom, nor should he. As far as going to nursery school in the morning, you're right, and the decision should be made by both parents. Maybe celesteanne can find out the hours of actual teaching taking place at the school and the parents could discuss having the child attend during those hours only.
Cinder
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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...I said that I thought the full day was to much.
Ya know, you should notice something. There was another poster on here who's ex has the child in daycare, and he wants the child to spend time with him instead. The advice was that he should proceed with caution, so as not to anger Mom. Here we have a Mom that doesn't want the child in daycare, and she is being told that Dad should be able to tell here that.
To some, that would look like contrary advice.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Cinder2
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4361
Loc: Southern California
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I was just pointing out that although they should discuss jointly his education, that only the morning should be under discussion.
As for your other comment about the dad at the child care, I never posted on that topic, but I think the kid should be with his dad instead of in day care. :)
Cinder
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Melody
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
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a huge educational decision. For three year olds, these are activities. Sure, they will learn some sliver of information, but it's hardly significant.
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celesteanne
enthusiast
Reged: 03/12/05
Posts: 313
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well, I gave him a list of 6 nursery schools that are convenient to both of us, the paste is the best that money can buy for 8K for the school year. I am talking about, 9 am to noon.
He came back to me with a school that would take me almost an hour to get to with rush hour traffic in the am, therefore getting our 3 year old up at 6:30, fed, dressed and out the door no later than 7:45.
I don't want to be difficult but by the time that I dropped him off, came home, it would be time for me to turn around and drive back down there during lunch traffic. We are talking about Georgetown, an area in DC notorious for traffic. UGGGGG...to boot, he will not talk to me on the phone but insists on emails back and forth or text messages on my cell. How can we have a discussion like that????
I need to vent, I am soooo annoyed. He offered this school as "in between" both of us. It is 4x's farther away for me and he lives around the corner already in the city.
I did not move to the city, I moved to a house less than a mile away from the house that we were a family in...IN THE BURBS. I have bent over backwards, paying ridiculous rent to stay in the area so our son can hang out at the same parks and see his first friends. His father decided he had to live in the city, 2 blocks from his "party haunts".
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matilda
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/11/04
Posts: 2087
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Services might be available to help your son with his speech problems. If you start to deal with it early on it might be easier to fix. I would contact your local public school and ask them if they have resources available or any suggestions.
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celesteanne
enthusiast
Reged: 03/12/05
Posts: 313
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I have gone thru Child Find, that is what they call it here. His father was against it the whole time, but I took him anyways based on the pediatrician's recommendation. They are working on a program for him. I don't even feel that nursery school is the best option for him right now. I have found that the music classes and story times have been the best help. My son and I go together and then we are able to "practice" together and he is improving greatly.
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celesteanne
enthusiast
Reged: 03/12/05
Posts: 313
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Here is a funny tid bit...Out of curiosity I called the school that he suggested to set up an appointment. They laughed at me when I told them I was interested in this fall. They have a 2 year wait list and of course our son's name is not on it, in fact, his father has never even toured the school or even requested information from them. UGGGHHHHHHH
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TGSM
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/06/05
Posts: 5843
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As a Kindergarten teacher I have people ask me this type of question all the time. My response is that children grow and develop at a significant rate from age 0-5. Exposure to both social/emotional, cognitive and physical development are important. Whether that comes in the form of preschool, play group or the various lessons and activities you are already exposing your child to...all forms are acceptable.
I would recommend thinking about placing him part time in a state preschool program, maybe a MWF 9:30-12:30. This gives your son the opportunity to begin to learn to socialize and develop the ability to rely on other adults for his care before he goes to Kindergarten. I often have children that come the first day of Elementary School and have never been apart from their parents...it's usually a very difficult experience for both child and parent.
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Faith-a f*rm belief in something for which there is no proof...complete trust.~Merriam Webster
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samin63
recently joined
Reged: 10/14/05
Posts: 2
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Kids need to have interation with other kids and stay at home is nice but the kids need to be able to experiance different situations in life and locked away is not it.
Just my feeling.
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