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CiCi
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Reged: 03/28/07
Posts: 493
DANG IT!!!
      #265874 - 07/23/07 11:06 PM

So....I went out tonight and bought a couple of picture frames for some amazing pictures that I took in Italy and since my daughter is off visiting releatives, I thought...I'll stop and have a beer at a little corner bar in my area. Now, I'm fairly comfortable doing these things alone (even if I don't necessarily prefer it as I am, after all, a people person), so I confidently walked in, sat at the bar and ordered a brew. It wasn't 5 minutes when the gentleman sitting next to me struck up a conversation. He immediately struck me as a little odd, but hey - everyone has their thing and who am I to judge, right.

We're talking about everything from the very hot weather we've been having to his service in Iraq earlier this year to the impact that media has in our lives. He seems also to be a people person - and now, I'm guessing he's very perceptive as he says to me "you don't wake up every morning feeling content....there is something missing in your life. I can see it in your eyes."

DAMN IT! People can really tell that I'm struggling...and I HATE that! I hate that I can't even apparently mask my emotions to a total stranger!!! How in the world did I fake my way to getting a job?

I'm very struck by what this person said...yet, I just don't know what to do about it. I don't know what to do with this information, ya know.

When is the sadness in my eyes going to be replaced by a full and contented heart?

--------------------
Remember: A clean house is the sign of a wasted life.


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Curmudgeon
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Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 2004
Loc: MO Ozarks
Re: DANG IT!!! [Re: CiCi]
      #265887 - 07/24/07 12:24 AM

>>>> When is the sadness in my eyes going to be replaced by a full and contented heart? <<<<

When you let it all go and have one. Not before. It will happen. It just takes time.

--------------------
What me worry. I'm retired!


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1004SRS
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 12/11/06
Posts: 5044
Re: DANG IT!!! [Re: CiCi]
      #265895 - 07/24/07 04:57 AM

Blow him off - are you sure he wasn't trying to pick you up.

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freedom123
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Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 528
Re: DANG IT!!! [Re: 1004SRS]
      #265914 - 07/24/07 08:06 AM

Time is really the only thing that will help...you have to make the decision that you will be happy again. And honestly I think that by going places and mingling with people, you are well on your way to healing. It's just going to take some time. Don't be so hard on yourself. I've read your posts and you've had a lot on your shoulders lately.

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Badasp
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Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
Re: DANG IT!!! [Re: CiCi]
      #265923 - 07/24/07 08:24 AM

CiCi,

I had a similar look, for about a year I had real trouble being happy due to the surprise and events following my separation, eventual divorce. Everyone commented that they had never seen me look so sad. I have always been an upbeat, positive, always laughing at something (including myself) type of person and the whole divorce process and sadness really took a toll on me. It's just now I realize I really let it get to me, the resentment, anger, humiliation, and sorrow was just obvious on my face and my demeanor. I can remember total strangers asking me "why do you look so sad"? That's when I started working on it. Inside it still hurts at times but I work hard at being my old self, smile, enjoy the day, find something good about each day (even though you have a full plate) just work hard at looking happier, you will portray that image and even start feeling better...

Hope that helps.

Mike O


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Stirling
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Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 327
Re: DANG IT!!! [Re: CiCi]
      #265934 - 07/24/07 08:49 AM

"When is the sadness in my eyes going to be replaced by a full and contented heart?"

When you love yourself unconditionally.


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annoyedengland
newbie


Reged: 05/02/07
Posts: 36
Re: DANG IT!!! [Re: Stirling]
      #265945 - 07/24/07 09:38 AM

It's a pick up line!!!
It is him saying 'you don't wake up content do you, but I can help you with that!'
Seriously, people have said similar to me.


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Patrice
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Reged: 07/21/06
Posts: 401
Re: DANG IT!!! [Re: annoyedengland]
      #265949 - 07/24/07 09:47 AM

It does sound kind of like a line, but after talking with someone a while you can sometimes get the sense that they're not where they want to be in life. Not surprising considering all you're dealing with right now.

It would be interesting to listen to ourselves as a stranger would . . . what would we think of ourselves??

Edited by Patrice (07/24/07 09:48 AM)


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Badasp
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Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
Re: DANG IT!!! [Re: CiCi]
      #265964 - 07/24/07 10:50 AM

I can't say if it was a pick up line or someone noticing you looked sad or something. You need to learn to deal with them when you are ready though!

Here is a good one I found:

We absolutely must pay attention to our own stories and how we repeat them to ourselves moment to moment as we live our lives. In other words, if some of the information or programming that we've taken on doesn't work in ways that bring joy into our lives, we're obligated to change it.

Each of us should be a walking, breathing example of the joy of living -- and the only way I know how to do that is to walk through the fear and self-doubt that we've adopted over the years as a pattern of survival. And as we do so, we change "survival" to "living."

As DON Miguel (author of The Four Agreements) says, we must be impeccable with our word: When we feel fear, we must acknowledge it; and when we feel self-doubt, we must also acknowledge it. What we say to ourselves is the most important conversation we'll have all day.

After going through an awful time post divorce, I really like and can identify with that last line...


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yregna
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Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
Re: DANG IT!!! [Re: CiCi]
      #266130 - 07/24/07 04:23 PM

Perhaps you should get a life instead of being SO UPSET ABOUT WHAT TOTAL STRANGER SAID IN A BAR !!!

--------------------
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"


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