Badasp
addict
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
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Everyone needs a good laugh, lucky for me I laugh at myself pretty often, it's a good reality check.
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Melanie1
addict
Reged: 12/09/05
Posts: 587
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Hi WB,
That's so exciting that you've taken charge of a singles group :). I'm sure after you've been in the mix for awhile, you'll come up with new ideas.
I forget who mentioned it, but either you or Patrice I think, said something about there being alot of cliques at these events and they're hard to break into.
Maybe you can figure out a way to make newcomers feel more welcome. How about forming weekly or monthly newcomer events, or cocktail parties that are led by a few of the oldtimers and the criteria is that only new members can sign up? And the only oldtimers are those who volunteer to chair and/or co-chair the event?
I'm a Volunteer Co-ordinator at a local art venue and it's so easy to call the same people all the time and go with the status quo, but I try my best to keep calling new people and not fall into that trap. It keeps the organization fresh and exciting and we don't burn out the regular volunteers.
Maybe you can do the same with a Newcomers Group. Sort of have a ladder approach where the first rung is for newcomers; then they graduate onto the second rung and plan events for other newcomers once they've been around awhile. Then there can be a 3rd rung/step for seasoned members.
You could still offer mixers where newcomers and oldtimers and everyone in between can sign up, but offer these newcomer only events so they don't feel like they're stepping into an event where everyone knows everyone and they feel they can't break in.
Just my two cents :). Good luck with it all!
Melanie
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The journey of a 1,000 miles begins with a single step. Lao Tzu
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Drew
old hand
Reged: 07/30/07
Posts: 1017
Loc: somewhere more familiar
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Redlegg,
I offer this as opinion and observation not argument. That is to say I thoroughly enjoy this type of exchange. I believe it, like advice, can often help us to see things we might not otherwise. At least speaking for myself!
I gave up on absolutes, absolutely. ha!
As for the gathering of observations and experience....
Did you ever wonder why history repeats itself? Because although we have changed everything around us (i.e. modern civilization) medicine, technology, etc., etc. we have not changed ourselves. (we can't change, we are what we are, small insignificant grains of sand on an endless beach) We could or can make different choices. That does not change us, only what we do.
As far as wisdom goes. Do not mistake understanding for wisdom. You tell your child "Don't touch that it's hot." Now the child knows it is hot. After all, you are daddy and he/she trusts daddy. However, the child IS going to touch it. Now the child UNDERSTANDS that it is hot. His/her knowledge without any understanding was useless, the child needed to understand. We all NEED to understand. Unfortunately, we will go into a hole in the ground and have dirt thrown on top of us and there will still be more about life and existence that we don't understand than what we do.
As for absolute honesty, I am not talking about callous, hurt peoples feelings honesty. I speak of humility, which encompasses all that is good. Compassion, empathy, self reflection and the honesty born inside. Being not honest to others (of course that) but honest with ourselves. Inside our own minds.
I like the serenity prayer too. But it was still penned by a mortal and should have said -experience and understanding to know the difference-
There is also scripture, and I will have to look for the verse that addresses man's notions of wisdom.
It states something to the effect of "I will render as nothing, the wisdom of the wise"
Wisdom is our Lord's forte'. Astute observation is ours. ;)
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"living, learning, from my creator. you gave me life now show me how to live" c. cornell
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Badasp
addict
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
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Very deep Drew. I still just want to find out where the normal women hang out...
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26804
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History repeating itself has been around longer than the rose by any other name issue. Have you ever wondered why history doesn't always repeat itself. Why change does happen, you say we cannot change,(Physically, we can't) and maybe you can't inside , but you are you and maybe you don't want to yet. We were given the capacity to learn and free will to make decisions, what we do is who we are, you don't have to believe we can change, but you can't deny the evidence around you. A child touching a stove, that is not even close, you try to put the wisdom in the hands of the child, and his actions to say it isn't there, but the fact remains the wisdom was in being told it would burn, the child made his choice, just as my child has never touched a hot stove, he relied on my wisdom. There will always be things we don't understand, and thats the way it is, we are not capable of understanding every single thing. thats being honest, and if you read more on here you will find I probably understand less than most. the serenity prayer says what it says, because thats what it is. You talk of wisdom being rendered as nothing, read after that and why that wisdom was rendered to nothing. it never says there is no wisdom or will be no wisdom.
The same scripture you are fond of also says The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom:
and the knowledge of the holy is understanding
It really sounds like you have been through a tough time lately. I am not sure of all the particulars, but from some of the things that I have read the last two years have been a struggle. I wish it had been differnt, but it wasn't. You seem strong and somewhat jaded in general. Let time do its thing. be patient and have faith, sometimes faith is all you have.
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willybillie
enthusiast
Reged: 05/19/06
Posts: 377
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Let me know Bad when you find out, as I'm wearing out a good pair of shoes looking. I'm putting myself out there in as many places as I can, and am looking for "NORMAL".
I am hoping she will fall out of the sky onto my lap. That would expedite things a bit..LOL..
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26804
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As long as she is not mad for you breaking her fall :)
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1004SRS
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/11/06
Posts: 5044
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Ditto here. Church, work, volunteering, crap....
I am normal. I just want a companion. I'm not looking for marriage. Just someone to do stuff with. I'm not clingy. I have my own life and friends. I want someone to talk on the phone with once in a while. Maybe see a movie with. SIt on the sofa and watch a movie together. Go out for dinner once in a while - I even offer to pay!!!
I'm NOT looking for a meal ticket or a Dad for my kids. I have both, thanks.
I just want a companion of the opposite sex to hang out with.
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willybillie
enthusiast
Reged: 05/19/06
Posts: 377
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Hi Melanie,
Appreicate the advice, and will definitely give it some thought. So far my efforts have only generated 6 new members in two months. I have asked that the members who do show up at the different activites make an effort to go up to the new members and welcome them into a group. The consensus feedback has been OMG, these new members are mostly in their 40's and 50's and we have to hold their hand. I said their are some that are extroverted and some that are not, just make them feel welcome.
Trouble is these people just want to eat, relax, and talk(majority of them). I want more physical activity, volleyball, kickball,tennis, anything physical. THat's why I feel the majority of this group are not normal..LOL.. I am facing obstacles and I am only 3rd in command, and am having trouble changing the OLD ways. Only way I can change things if I run for president in January of 2008 which I will.
I'm looking into doing a reverse raffle for "Singles Only", and am checking the legal status, of doing that. Don't know if that could be a cause for discrimation. We can run a Reverse Raffle, cause we are a non-profit charitable organization. Talk to you soon.
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willybillie
enthusiast
Reged: 05/19/06
Posts: 377
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Nothing else is working. I will take the risk..LOL..
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