JRinTacoma
recently joined
Reged: 08/06/07
Posts: 4
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My former spouse has recently threatened to move out of state with our 7 year old child. I am moving toward introducing a love interest to my child after about 10 months of serious, committed dating. They have not met or talked, but the child is aware of the relationship.
The former spouse argues that if the relationship with my new love interest fails in less than two years, I have damaged my child by introducing him to a girlfriend with whom I obviously wasn't truly committed. This constitutes bad judgment on my part, and since this would be the 2nd time that I had exposed my child to a relationship that ultimately failed, she therefore can't feel comfortable allowing our child to watch his father continue to make bad decisions. Leaving would be the only answer, it is argued.
The question I propose is this:
Can the custodial parent choose to move the child out of state without proving that such a move would be beneficial and/or necessary for the child's well-being? Who is the burden of proof on?
Facts in case:
*Divorce was final over 2 years ago
*All parties reside in the state of WA
*Current legal parenting plan provides for Fri-Sun visitation, plus alternating holidays and a 2-week vacation every July
*Child is doing very well in school, activities, behavior
*In addition to current parenting plan, I am picking up child every Tuesday and Thursday after karate practice for about 3 hours (unscheduled and not in parenting plan--originally a request from custodial parent for help)
*Parenting plan/divorce decree does not cover moving out of state
*Divorce decree includes language about using a mediation service if there are disagreements involving subjects not covered in parenting plan/divorce decree
So can she take him away from me? I'm with my son a lot and we are very close...I think it would be a serious problem for him if he left...especially for the reason that a couple girlfriends didn't pan out.
Any advice would be welcome!
JRinTacoma
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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If your ex is going to move, then YOU should file to keep her from moving.
She better come up with a better reason than she has now for moving.
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kimberleedear1
newbie
Reged: 07/13/07
Posts: 29
Loc: San Jose CA
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this happened to my brother (without the girlfriend angle)...his ex threatened to move all 3 kids away to Utah and he was so fearful that once she took them there for a summer vacation she would keep them there, he wound up filing a TRO. His instincts were correct..the visit/summer vacation would have turned into permanence. She regd them for school there without letting him know. Anyway, your girlfriend is a non issue..your ex is just jealous..that won't fly in court. But make sure you usurp her move now and talk to a good family law atty, start keeping a diary about the time you spend with your happy, well adjusted child. The court is reluctant to relocate if it disturbs a shared parenting plan, or takes the kid away from one parent and a viable relationship.
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JRinTacoma
recently joined
Reged: 08/06/07
Posts: 4
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You both have confirmed my thoughts and I'm grateful!
When you say "file to keep her from moving" do I do that after she has notified me of the impending move? No plans to move have been made, just a threat at this point.
I like the idea of the diary, I think I'll start to keep one. It will be good to have anyways even if I never have to use it!
JRinTacoma
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kimberleedear1
newbie
Reged: 07/13/07
Posts: 29
Loc: San Jose CA
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She can try and move away but you can file a temporary restraining order to block the move of the child....ie she can't take the child out of the state. This would then have to be either mediated or go to family court and counselors would evaluate the existing relationship you have w. the child..that's why you should keep a diary indicating how much time you spend, voluntarily etc, your interactions w. child..also a 7 year old is probably school aged, has friends, comfortable in class...all this would bolster your request to keep him in your state. I am guessing that, if she still wanted to move, she can do so, but you might wind up with physical custody..are you up to that?
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googledad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10207
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Current case law for a CP to relocate out of Washington is not in your favor if she does decide to move , be prepared to prove your case .
The person proposing to relocate with the child shall provide his or her reasons for the intended relocation. There is a rebuttable presumption that the intended relocation of the child will be permitted. A person entitled to object to the intended relocation of the child may rebut the presumption by demonstrating that the detrimental effect of the relocation outweighs the benefit of the change to the child and the relocating person, based upon the following factors. The factors listed in this section are not weighted. No inference is to be drawn from the order in which the following factors are listed:
(1) The relative strength, nature, quality, extent of involvement, and stability of the child's relationship with each parent, siblings, and other significant persons in the child's life;
(2) Prior agreements of the parties;
(3) Whether disrupting the contact between the child and the person with whom the child resides a majority of the time would be more detrimental to the child than disrupting contact between the child and the person objecting to the relocation;
(4) Whether either parent or a person entitled to residential time with the child is subject to limitations under RCW 26.09.191;
(5) The reasons of each person for seeking or opposing the relocation and the good faith of each of the parties in requesting or opposing the relocation;
(6) The age, developmental stage, and needs of the child, and the likely impact the relocation or its prevention will have on the child's physical, educational, and emotional development, taking into consideration any special needs of the child;
(7) The quality of life, resources, and opportunities available to the child and to the relocating party in the current and proposed geographic locations;
(8) The availability of alternative arrangements to foster and continue the child's relationship with and access to the other parent;
(9) The alternatives to relocation and whether it is feasible and desirable for the other party to relocate also;
(10) The financial impact and logistics of the relocation or its prevention; and
(11) For a temporary order, the amount of time before a final decision can be made at trial.
See In re Parentage of R.F.R., 122 Wash. App. 324, 93 P.3d 951 (2004).
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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JRinTacoma
recently joined
Reged: 08/06/07
Posts: 4
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It sounds like you are saying both sides have the burden of proof here, but the NCP has the greater burden.
#3 basically says that a comparison between which separation would cause the most harm--a split with CP or a split with NCP--would be looked at. I wonder how such a determination could be made?
It looks like getting the CP to basically admit (in a reproduceable medium) that she would move because she doesn't like my relationship choices might be very helpful.
I think it's time to talk to a family counselor so that the "issues" can be recorded. If a counselor hears her repeat her silly reasons for wanting to move, that may solidify (but not make) the case for me.
This site is such a great resource. I think the smartest people in the world are divorced people. Thanks for the law citation, I'll be keeping that handy!
JRinTacoma
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7139
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Find out if WA is a one or all party recording state. If it's a one party only you have to know a conversation is being recorded. Maybe you can get her to talk if she doesn't know you have a pocket recorder.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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googledad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10207
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Washington is a 2 party state for recorded phone conversations .
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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JRinTacoma
recently joined
Reged: 08/06/07
Posts: 4
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I'm not thinking of recording her secretly, cuz that's shady. I was thinking more of having a counselor or mediator taking notes and being able to back up my claims.
I have a bunch of stuff on e-mail and text message. But she's pretty careful about keeping the more extreme stuff to phone and face to face conversations.
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