k122175
newbie
Reged: 11/23/06
Posts: 49
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Do I move out and then file or do I do it both at the same time? As I stated in previous posts - I am separating all the bills that are in my name to come out of a checking account I opened in my name only. No joint credit cards, no house (we rent), his name is on my van - which I want to keep and I will make payments. He has no idea until the day I move out...which will probably be in the next month since he has brought a pit bull into my home knowing full well that I didn't want one, that our 5 yo is afraid of it and our other dog doesn't like it. Pit bulls are fine for others - I just don't want it around MY son. How do I start - where do I begin - if I contact a lawyer will he call my husband - I'm totally in the dark as far as this. I NEED HELP!!
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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It really doesn't matter which way you do it. But if you don't want to take the chance on him finding out before you move out, be sure you're ready to move right after you contact a lawyer, or even before.
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Char Fox
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k122175
newbie
Reged: 11/23/06
Posts: 49
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I guess the best idea would be to move out which in turn I'll tell him and then contact the lawyer. This will be his second divorce - I'm sure he knows the ropes but I'm not familiar and I'm confident I can do it alone but I'm still scared - is this normal?
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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Was it frightening when you went off to college or left your parents' home for the first time? When you went for your first interview?
Of course it's normal. This is a life altering event. You're leaving a comfort zone. A way of life you've known for so long, that you've forgotten what it's like to live any differently.
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Char Fox
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k122175
newbie
Reged: 11/23/06
Posts: 49
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Thanks - putting it in that perspective makes sense. I know a divorce is what I want but I start to think of how this will hurt him but then I think he hasn't cared how he has hurt me over the years. I guess it hurts because I do love him and I feel I have failed myself and my son.
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Drew
old hand
Reged: 07/30/07
Posts: 1017
Loc: somewhere more familiar
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If this didn't hurt you would be sorely lacking in the depth of emotion dept. That is, in my observations, the defining characteristic (the difference) between two people in this circumstance. One generally seems to be apathetic and the other torn and forlorn due to their ability to care.
Bravery isn't so much about the person who confidently walks into a known situation and deals with familiarity (even if it is dangerous or risky).
Bravery is doing what you have to do/know you should do in the face of fear and uncertainty. THAT is bravery.
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"living, learning, from my creator. you gave me life now show me how to live" c. cornell
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k122175
newbie
Reged: 11/23/06
Posts: 49
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Thank you for your encouraging words Drew - I really appreciate it. As much as it hurts I know it is the right thing for me and my son - unfortunately it doesn't stop the hurting....
Thanks again.
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