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BigEasy
journeyman


Reged: 10/17/05
Posts: 75
WHAT'S IN A NAME
      #276136 - 08/15/07 03:14 PM

I'm 49 and have been seeing a woman exclusively. This may sound weird, but at this age, is she my girlfriend, significant other, lover, or as I like to say "LUVA". She is my best friend, but just introducting her by name or as "this is my friend...." seems impersonal; as we are living together. But what's the term now? We are both divorced and only a few years apart in age, and we both struggle with this at social and business functions.

Open to any advise.


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Drew
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Reged: 07/30/07
Posts: 1017
Loc: somewhere more familiar
Re: WHAT'S IN A NAME [Re: BigEasy]
      #276195 - 08/15/07 04:41 PM

Significant Other?

That really sounds impersonal too doesn't it!

How about "my special friend" then you could go on to say that you both rode the short bus together ;)

--------------------
"living, learning, from my creator. you gave me life now show me how to live" c. cornell


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Badasp
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Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
Re: WHAT'S IN A NAME [Re: Drew]
      #276204 - 08/15/07 04:50 PM

I don't know Drew, If I start talking about my special friend, the next thing you know is people are going to say because I hang out in flip flops and shorts (which I do!) with a special friend, that I am probably gay, which I'm not. (not that there is anything wrong with that)

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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7154
Re: WHAT'S IN A NAME [Re: BigEasy]
      #276214 - 08/15/07 05:03 PM

Hmmmm. Tough one. I never minded being introduced as my x SO's girlfriend (I was 36 and he was 42) but it felt weird to call him my boyfriend. No idea why. I'd be honored if the person I was with introduced me as his best friend, but that's confusing. Maybe someone can come up with a good name for those of us on the of cusp of or over 40 to call our SO's (provided some of us ever have one!)

--------------------
When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.


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PhoenixRising
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
Re: WHAT'S IN A NAME [Re: BigEasy]
      #276217 - 08/15/07 05:08 PM

What a great question?

I will be curious what other poster's have to say...

I have never been in the situation and therefore do not have any input.

I have lots of different names for the OW. BUT they would not be appropriate in this situation (and none that I would repeat in polite society) lol..

--------------------
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato


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CiCi
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Reged: 03/28/07
Posts: 493
Re: WHAT'S IN A NAME [Re: PhoenixRising]
      #276235 - 08/15/07 05:27 PM

Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with saying girlfriend. I have a friend who always refers to her boyfriend as her boyfriend - and she's 49 (he's 51). I think that is exactally what you are - boyfriend and girlfriend...unless you get engaged, in which case you are fiance...unless you get married, in which case you're husband and wife. I just think it's as simple as that.

I can appreciate the sensitivity to the issue, though. I mean, I have a hard time saying "I'm divorced"...even though that is what I am.

--------------------
Remember: A clean house is the sign of a wasted life.


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BigEasy
journeyman


Reged: 10/17/05
Posts: 75
Re: WHAT'S IN A NAME [Re: CiCi]
      #276244 - 08/15/07 05:37 PM

When we are in a setting with friends and close acquaintances it's not an issue; However, saying my girlfriend seem so juvenille at 49 (although, I am a very young 49).

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Badasp
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Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
Re: WHAT'S IN A NAME [Re: BigEasy]
      #276256 - 08/15/07 06:02 PM

Big,

I agree. I'm 50's and feel alot younger. Showing up with a date that has developed into multiple dates it does seem awkward to introduce her as my girlfriend. I usually say, this is my really good friend XXXXX or just, I'd like you to meet XXXXX. That way they all have to guess what that means!

here are some synonyms for friend. None of these work for me no matter how you twist them.
Pal
Buddy
Companion
Acquaintance
Comrade
Ally
Associate


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Renee
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Reged: 06/02/05
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Re: WHAT'S IN A NAME [Re: BigEasy]
      #276262 - 08/15/07 06:29 PM

My SO and I are 37 and 41 respectively, and my favorite label for him is Boytoy.

In serious work-type company I introduce him as my friend. If they can't tell by looking at us interact what kind of friendship we have, the label isn't going to help much! ;o)


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Annie7676
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Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 863
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Re: WHAT'S IN A NAME [Re: Renee]
      #276371 - 08/15/07 09:08 PM

I refer to my BF as my gentlemen friend. He refers to me as his girlfriend. Hard to know what to call each other. When introducing I just say this is ..... my friend because thats what he is a friend.

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PhoenixRising
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Reged: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
Re: WHAT'S IN A NAME [Re: Annie7676]
      #276400 - 08/15/07 09:56 PM

I LIKE gentleman friend. Very Gone-With-The-Wind-ish..

I vote for Lady Friend. Very dignified.


My son's 65yr old kindergarten teacher use to tell the children that her "boyfriend" comes in at the end of the day to hang up their pictures. She had just celebrated her 40th wedding anniversary!

Perhaps "girlfriend" or any label w/ feel odd because you had a "wife" for so long.

I think that in today's society w/ 50% of the world being divorced. Older ladies and gentleman w/ boy and girlfriends is quite common.

--------------------
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato


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sonnyfla
member
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Reged: 06/07/07
Posts: 116
Loc: Florida
Re: WHAT'S IN A NAME [Re: Annie7676]
      #276452 - 08/16/07 07:09 AM

Labeling is such a possessive thing. I introduce my partner just by her name. It makes us feel more like individuals.

Sonny

--------------------
Build a bridge and get over it!


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AtWitsEnd
newbie


Reged: 07/02/07
Posts: 35
Loc: AR
Re: WHAT'S IN A NAME [Re: sonnyfla]
      #276456 - 08/16/07 07:29 AM

This is a very good and interesting question! I haven't really thought of it much, but whenever I was "dating" my STBX before we were married, he always introduced me as his girlfriend! I thought that sounded so high schoolish, but that's what I was,,,his girlfriend!

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Drew
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Reged: 07/30/07
Posts: 1017
Loc: somewhere more familiar
Re: WHAT'S IN A NAME [Re: sonnyfla]
      #276457 - 08/16/07 07:33 AM

I always introduced my wife naturally with "and this is my wife _______." Now anytime I have been out with a friend I have just introduced her the same way as sonny does, "and this is ______." I wonder if this makes her feel slighted?

Perhaps I should say "and this is my intimate acquaintance ______." lol or maybe "and this is my next stbx." !!??

--------------------
"living, learning, from my creator. you gave me life now show me how to live" c. cornell


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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7154
Re: WHAT'S IN A NAME [Re: Drew]
      #276495 - 08/16/07 10:10 AM

or maybe "and this is my next stbx.

----> I thought about adding that one but thought it sounded a little too negative. LOL. In my case probably realistic though.

--------------------
When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.


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