LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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I had to share this, because something happened today that gave me a little hope back, even if I am still kicking myself over it now!
I was shopping today at Walmart and I was headed into the automotive section to pick up an oil filter and oil, so my oldest son could change the oil in my car. As I turned down the aisle towards the oil, I spotted a really cute man, about my age. He looked up at me and I looked at him and as I got closer, I realized I had no idea how to find the right filter or oil. Seeing as he was there, I saw a perfect opportunity to speak to him. I stopped and asked him if he knew how to tell which filters went with each make/model of cars. He pointed in the direction of a computer and said I could look it up there or in the book by it. So, I thanked him and walked up to the computer.
I started trying to use the computer, in which none of the information went any earlier than 2001, so I picked up the book sitting there and tried looking it up there too. As I was doing that, he came up behind me and asked if I needed any help, because I was looking in the spark plug book. I laughed and said that I had no idea what I was doing, as it was painfully obvious. He laughed and picked up the right book. I told him that my being in the automotive section, trying to pick out an oil filter was like probably him being in the makeup aisle, trying to pick out makeup. He laughed and said "You never know, I might be very good at picking out makeup!" We both laughed.
He proceeded to walk over with me to the oil and help me get that too. He was very cute, funny and we just seemed to hit it off, in those few short minutes. Right then and there, I wish I'd said "Hi! I'm Lori, it's nice to meet you..." But, dumb me, I didn't even think of that until we'd gone out separate ways. He had no wedding band on and he was pushing a cart, so he seemed to be there alone. I am just kicking myself now!!!! I feel I at least had an opportunity to do something, be a little bold and I let it walk away. But, the lesson I learned today, if it should ever happen again, is be prepared! Next time I won't let that happen again!
Moral of the story... Women, go hang out in Walmart, in the automotive section and ask for help from all the men that come down the aisle. Men, be there ready to assist. This seems to be the male territory and I honestly needed the help.
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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That kind of stuff is always fun, isn't it? I can't do that right now, but something similar happened to me at the gas station about a year and a half ago. I went back to that damn store every night at the same time for 3 weeks hoping to run into the guy again but I never did. *sigh* Think your son will get suspicious when you start having him change the oil every 500 miles? I gotta admit I LOL when I read the part about you looking in the spark plug book though.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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JustMeAndThree
old hand
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 993
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I hope that one day I get to the point where I have the courage and confidence to do something like that. At this point in situations like that all I can think about is how the man probably thinks i'm a fat cow. 2 years ago I had worked very hard and lost 40 lbs but then this last year with working full time, being a newly single mom of 3, dealing with a jerk brain stbx and stress, not to mention antidepressants that I have researched and are prone to causing weight gain I feel like an ever inflating balloon. BUT We are moving into a nicer, bigger house in a neighborhood that I can go for walks with the kids in so maybe I can get off my butt sometimes...right now we live on a very short dirt road off of a state highway...so no place to walk....That's my next goal after settling into the new house...getting some excercise
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Slap yourself, that wasn't funny.
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LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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I could probably hang out for the next year on all my days off in the automotive department at that Walmart and never see him again. I keep telling myself that if something was meant to come from it all, it would have, he would have maybe said something. I have to admit, part of me feared rejection or getting a strange look, a tell tale sign that he just wasn't interested. This way, it was a nice start on the correct path and a fun nudge in the right direction. I honestly wasn't playing dumb about the spark plugs book vs the air filter book either, it just happened. I was such a fish out of water. It's a t least a fun story to tell now too...
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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It's taken me 6 years to be able to do this little thing today. It was just being in the right place, at the right time, with the right circumstances. My fear of rejection, someone outwardly showing me they may not find me attractive or they may blow me off and I'd be so crushed. My self confidence is still not repaired. Trust me, I don't feel like any beauty queen either, by any stretch of the imagination. I just faked it today and wouldn't let myself get flustered thinking "You're not good enough Lori".
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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freedom123
addict
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 528
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I'm dating someone (a really wonderful someone) but it's always fun to feel like men find you attractive even if you're someones ex. Recently while shopping at Walmart I ran into an old high school boyfriend who told me that he was getting a divorce...he looked really sad and I felt so bad for him...told him that I was so sorry and time would help. He added something about me looking really good which was so nice to hear even if I had no intention of pursuing anything. Really helps the confidence in my new relationship. All of us deserve that...
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Drew
old hand
Reged: 07/30/07
Posts: 1017
Loc: somewhere more familiar
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O.k. ladies,
A bold, charming character is an experienced hitman as a rule.
The guy you ran into probably thought about hitting on you but he was too shy or thought you would be offended. Here's the tuff part, ...make yourself available.
This can be done both tactfully and tastefully, thereby creating a safe environment (he may be scared of rejection, or just respectful and not wishing to offend).
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"living, learning, from my creator. you gave me life now show me how to live" c. cornell
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Renee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4022
Loc: The Palmetto State
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Okay, so now that the oil change is taken care of.... how are your wiper blades? Need new ones yet? ;O)
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1004SRS
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/11/06
Posts: 5044
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So, I think I need new tires, new wiper blades, an oil change, ummmm what other car parts are there?
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NancyD
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2105
Loc: New York
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Kind of makes me wish there was a WalMart around these parts. LOL. Well, will a Target do?
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LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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Thanks Drew... BTW, great name, it's my oldest son's name too!
Maybe he was feeling just like me, fearful of rejection too, which he would not have gotten from me. Maybe he wasn't really single, just out shopping by himself, wife and kids at home. After all, he didn't do anything wrong by just helping me. One of my good friend here told me I should have said "Do you eat? I'd like to repay your help in homemade brownies or dinner." Sigh, I'm just not that bold. She also said it was too bad he didn't do something like offer to help me change my oil. The chances of me ever running into him again are slim to none. Darn it anyway! :-(
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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Yes, I guess I need to start fixing up my whole car, whether it needs it or not. I can always walk by the automotive section from now on and see if I spot an eligible bachelor. I can start stocking up on new things like wipers, antifreeze, windshield washer fluid and of course, those trusty sparkplugs. LOL!
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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I can see it now, someday I'll finally meet someone this way and he'll come to my house. For some reason I'll open up the garage door and all these massive amounts of auto parts will come tumbling out. He'll ask "What's this???" I'll tell him "It's just been sitting here, waiting for you to come fix my car" LOL!
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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Walmart, Target, it's all the same... Just as long as you're in the automotive section. I can see it now, all the women from here now will be hanging out in the automotive section, all the men will be there waiting to help us. We'll start a new trend. This could be revolutionary and replace single's bars! LOL! We can create a fad with T-shirts that say "Single and looking" or "Single and available". It would cut out a lot of the guess work.
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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rschiller
old hand
Reged: 08/25/05
Posts: 1014
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Hi Lady bug, I've been on vacation for almost four weeks, but anyway, I am here and I can so relate to your story. BUT, here is my close encounter...........
I was at the gas station fillin up my tanker, and I looked over and saw this man, he had his son in the passenger seat, he was also fueling up....
So, I look over there, and he's got his tongue hangin out panting like a freaking dog at me. So I look away, and think to myself, "Did he really just do that to me????" So, like an idiot, I look again, and sure enough, he's still staring at me panting like a freaking dog.
Ok, so I hurry up, pay at the pump and take off. All the while thinking to myself...... "Why couldn't he just come over and talk to me? He was cute, why not just say hello". I mean did he really think what he was doing was making himself attractive to me?????
This small town, I just don't know. BUT, it did give me something to laugh about with my girlfriends, and honestly, it made me feel pretty good that I could make a cute guy act like an idiot at the gas station.
I swear to God though, I will never meet a normal man in this itty bitty town.
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CiCi
addict
Reged: 03/28/07
Posts: 493
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Lori, I think you should not kick yourself for not introducing yourself...rather consider this a stepping stone toward the top of the mountain. For the first time in 6 years, you found yourself in a situation where you felt something towards another man - and in close retrospect, you realize you could have introduced yourself. Now that this has happened, the next time you find yourself in that situation, you'll be that much closer to making the introduction, taking a risk and reaping the rewards of your bravery!
One step at a time...all the steps are important, right!?!
I have to say, I was cracking up at the story because I know nothing about cars, so I would have been in the same boat!
XOXO
CiCi
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Remember: A clean house is the sign of a wasted life.
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willybillie
enthusiast
Reged: 05/19/06
Posts: 377
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Lori,
Maybe it's just me, but when I go to the automobile dept at Walmart, Target, Lowe's, Auto Zone,(all within 2 miles) I see nothing but men, and they are like me looking intensly for whatever we need. Guess I will pay more attention and see if I can spot any ladies.
I have seen a few cute ladies in my travels to the supermarket,and elsewhere, but when I make eye contact, I quickly smile,sometimes say hi, look at her face, and then we're passing each other. How do you backtrack(making it obvious)and see if she is wearing a ring. Guess I am not at that "Presumptious" level yet, but will have to work on it, if I'm ever to have a social life again. I won't do it everytime, cause I'm with others that are in fear of rejection, or maybe still in that fragile state.I still at times feel like I've been hit by a truck.
Excellent idea too on T-Shirts.. I am seriously going to bring that up at our next general meeting at our singles group. Single & Available really paraphrases things real quick, and I have never seen anyone wear anything close to saying single on it. Curious as to what the members will say. Maybe too self-conscious to wear them. I can see Big Bold letters on front and back of the t-shirt.
You don't have a patent on this yet do you..LOL>> Will buy you a beer for idea IF I ever meet you. What happen to the Vegas get together.
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Drew
old hand
Reged: 07/30/07
Posts: 1017
Loc: somewhere more familiar
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Allright the realist in me has to point this out.
Most do it yourselfers are pretty hard headed, knowitallish, or at the very least independant. At worst cheapskates.
Now so everyone knows I am not bashing; I AM a mechanic by profession, I built my own home (literally) I treat my own yard, doctor my pets, (you get the idea) and will try to educate myself about most anything and do it on my own.
Why? Because I am a hard headed, knowitall, cheapskate! That's why! I am also self depracating. Does that make me an oxymoron or just a contradiction? How about confused? lol.....
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"living, learning, from my creator. you gave me life now show me how to live" c. cornell
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Badasp
addict
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
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I know one thing. If you see a woman you think is attractive, stop, say hello and ask her if she would like some help, if she says no I don't need help, ask her to help you. Take every opportunity to be friendly to someone you will otherwise never see again. What the hell...
It goes both ways ladies, it never hurts to say what the hell, hello...
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26686
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So let me get this right, meet in the auto department, go home, talk, two weeks later, visit, open the garage door, and there is how much work waiting????????? :)
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willybillie
enthusiast
Reged: 05/19/06
Posts: 377
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How coincidental. Was having my morning coffee, decided to turn on tv for company, and a minute later the host said we will be talking about "Desperate to Date" after next break. This was on NBC this morning. That caught my ear. For those who didn't see it, here is a synopsis:
A 30yr old attractive man from London,England couldn't find the love of his life, so he started up a website called "Are you my wife.com". Long story short, he traveled for 12 months to 13 countries, had 53 dates, and is now dating an attractive blonde from his hometown. Go figure.
What the NBC panel said was the obvious. Why look elsewhere, when your dream girl or person could be right under your nose. Some facts they pointed out were:
** 27% of men too shy to make 1st move even when meeting their dream woman.
** 68% of men too shy to act on an ecounter of interest
Best advice the 30yr old gave was to keep your dates, K.I.S.S. (keep it simple stupid)
The consensus of the panel on why so many of us are desperate to find romance is that we are afraid to be alone.
They never said what he did for a living. Obviously he had a lot of vacation time and money was no object.
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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"The consensus of the panel on why so many of us are desperate to find romance is that we are afraid to be alone."
It's funny you said that. I've found that when a person says they aren't dating or looking people assume they have become bitter about the whole situation. As a lot of people here know my x SO has been contacting me a lot lately. For some reason he seems to think that since we broke up (less than 2 years ago) I've had this obscenely active dating and sex life.(maybe he's just hoping that one of us is since he got married and it sounds as if his sex life is about nil) Okay the truth is I dated 3 people and then ended up pregnant. I had planned to marry that person, we had talked about it, looked at rings, the whole deal. I guess a baby wasn't in his plans. Well, it wasn't in MINE either to be honest. Any way I'm babbling. My point is I can tell anyone who wants to know when the last time I had sex was (32 weeks yesterday) I know this for obvious reasons. For the same reasons I'm not interested in meeting anyone right now. I mean come on, it's hard enough to find someone when you're at your best so why in God's name would anyone be interested in me at this point? It could be hormones or just plain common sense but I really don't see a need to look for anyone after I have the baby either. I'm almost 40, men my age are not going to want to date someone with a newborn. I can live with that and I'm okay with it. For some reason my x SO keeps telling me "I can't give up". I haven't "given up" I've come to the realization that I do not and will not have the energy, time or patience needed to cultivate a relationship. I don't think that makes me bitter. It makes me realistic. That doesn't mean that I "want" to be alone forever. It just means that it's not a priority anymore. If it happens, it happens. One of my biggest fears since my divorce has been growing old alone. Since I will have a child who won't graduate from high school until I'm 57 I no longer see that as a problem. It's just not the kind of not being alone that I had pictured!
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Buy a book on fishing. You let that one get away, you didn't even ID the species, you had no net handy, etc...
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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Badasp
addict
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
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Now that was funny... Keep up the humor Yregna...
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LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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Hi Redlegg,
I was just teasing about the garage full of auto parts and my expecting anyone to work on my car. It was just my way of saying "Hey, I've been waiting for you!" Not for that special someone to come fix my car, just waiting period.
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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I'm home sick today, feeling like death warmed over. I promise to respond to all your great posts soon! In the meantime, feeling pretty awful. Must have picked something up from on of the patients. Ugh!
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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There are nice encounters and then there are offensive encounters... I don't think many women would find the tongue wagging a nice encounter. After all, it makes the man look more than a little creepy. Yeah, it might make you laugh, but take the man seriously, highly doubtful. It would make me wonder if he goes around doing such a thing all the time. I doubt he has much success with it either, but he must think it is the way to behave. He's just misguided. It does give a funny story to tell your friends, but not much more than that.
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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Thanks CiCi,
I am car illiterate! I know where the gas goes, the windshield washer fluid and the air in the tires. Above that, I've always had help. The last six years my dad has helped when he's here visiting, my oldest son, occasionally a friend's husband or a neighbor. If that wasn't available, there is always the oil changing shops. It just so happened my son offered this time and was going to go get everything it himself. I'm glad I said I'd get it for him, or I'd have missed the fun little opportunity. And you are right, next time I'll be better prepared to handle how I react, what I say, if I decide to be a little bolder or not.
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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Hi WB,
Nope, no patents. If it catches on and you make millions, just cut me a share, okay? LOL! Who knows, it could end up being be like the "Sh*t happens" bumper stickers. It could cause a new craze!
As for when your out at Lowe's, Home Depot, etc (all places we need to add to our lists now ladies...lol!) just look around. There could be a damsel in distress who needs a knight in shinning armor to come to her rescue. I am serious! These are golden opportunities to meet people. I have a feeling there are many women who would appreciate the friendly help and you just never know where it could lead. I just have a feeling one of us is going to meet someone this way now. I feel it in my spark plugs! ;-)
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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1004SRS
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/11/06
Posts: 5044
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I'm at home, too. Ughhh....Been in bed all day.
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LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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LOL! You made me laugh at this one! See, I know you have another side to you, not just the angry one. I understand you're angry and why. I get it. But, just as not all men are like my ex, not all women are like your's. You can't lump everyone into the same "fish" category. Instead of lashing out at people, share your anger, frustration, hurt and what you're upset about instead. We can all help, we aren't your enemy. Trust me, I for one have never lived in the lap of luxury from any help I have ever received from my exH, after 21 years of marriage. I also have never been a "gold digger" trying to get a "free ride". Every situation is different, just like every person is. I like when you show this side. It's a refreshing change from the other.
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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Melanie1
addict
Reged: 12/09/05
Posts: 587
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Hi Lori,
What a great little story :)! Now you know you still "got it" as far as the opposite sex is concerned! Good feeling, isn't?
Don't regret that you didn't take things further. Regret's a waste of time (not that I don't ever have regrets, but it's what I tell myself if I start to wallow in it, lol). Instead, rejoice that it happened!
Then the next time an opportunity arises, you'll remember this experience and will have the courage to make a connection :).
Melanie
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The journey of a 1,000 miles begins with a single step. Lao Tzu
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Melanie1
addict
Reged: 12/09/05
Posts: 587
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Very funny yregna :).
Melanie
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The journey of a 1,000 miles begins with a single step. Lao Tzu
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JustMeAndThree
old hand
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 993
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Ok here's my problem with the whole "meet in the automotive departmet" thing. My grandpa had me working on his car at age 5, I was married to a mechanic for 8 years. So, unfortunately for me I'm right at home in these places...how do you make yourself look confused when you really know exactly what you're doing, especially when you're one of those kinds who's proud of being self-sufficient??? Now...put me in the home decor department or the bakery and i'm COMPLETELY lost.
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Slap yourself, that wasn't funny.
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LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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I am sure you could meet men in the home decor or bakery departments, but they will probably be looking for men too... ;-) Not so sure that is exactly what you want. Maybe you could hang out in the automotive section and help the men there. They'd think you are wonderful, having a woman who understands cars!
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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JustMeAndThree
old hand
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 993
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LOL...yeah I'm not too sure I'd want a man who was hanging out in home decor...he may be a little TOO sweet for my taste HAHA! It's been my experience though that when a woman tries to help a man with something that is considered a "manly" thing...it doesn't work out to well...it knocks their ego and masculinaty down too many pegs for their comfort. Now I COULD hang out in sporting goods and genuinly look lost ;)
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Slap yourself, that wasn't funny.
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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My funniest "man in the store" story has nothing to do with "meeting" someone becuase it was obvious he had a gf, but one time I was in the feminie hygene aisle and this guy came up to me, very red in the face and mumbling about wings, and dry weave and overnights, ect...... and asked if I could help him. His gf asked him to pick up a product and he was very confused as to why there were so many different ones. He told me what he needed, I helped him find it and told him that I gave him a lot of credit for being brave enough to ask for help or even come into the store to get it on his own. He told be that the brave part would have been to go home with the wrong thing. LOL
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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Drew
old hand
Reged: 07/30/07
Posts: 1017
Loc: somewhere more familiar
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I have been buying all that stuff for years. First for the x and now for my oldest.
I love the guy in your story. (in an absolutely brotherly/kindred soul kind of way!) Now there is a guy with enough confidence in his masculinity to wear yellow or even pink shirts!
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"living, learning, from my creator. you gave me life now show me how to live" c. cornell
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Melanie1
addict
Reged: 12/09/05
Posts: 587
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Cute story Debi. Especially the part about the guy being more afraid to go home with the wrong product! What a hoot :).
Melanie
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The journey of a 1,000 miles begins with a single step. Lao Tzu
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LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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Cute story Debi! Now that's true love...the willingness of this man to venture into the great unknown of feminine hygiene produces and then ask for help. LOL!
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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Drew,
I'll put you in the yellow and pink shirt club too (that's a compliment) There is no way my x would have EVER bought that stuff. As a matter of fact when we married he told me I better always make sure I had what I needed because he wouldn't go get it. After my 3rd was born I had to call my best friend and ask her to pick some stuff up after work for me because he wouldn't and I wasn't supposed to drive yet. *sigh*
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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JustMeAndThree
old hand
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 993
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LOL.....my ex probably would have bought the stuff...but get him to wear a pink shirt that would be a cold day in hell, to him any man who had good fashion sense, spent more than 5 minutes on his hair or wore any feminine colors was gay...But then again he thinks that if you aren't running around farting and scratching your you-know-what's then you aren't a man.
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Slap yourself, that wasn't funny.
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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But then again he thinks that if you aren't running around farting and scratching your you-know-what's then you aren't a man.
--------> LOL.Then by his standards my 13yo daughter is half way to being a man! I'm so proud. She doesn't have any you know what's to scratch but she can burb and fart with the best of them. Maybe there WAS something to the circumcission the hospital tried to charge me for when she was born!
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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Badasp
addict
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
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I know I'm reaching here but I do own a couple of pink ties (nice with a black suit) and I have several Tommy Bahama shirts that are peach or Salmon. I am in touch with my femine side... or whatever. They look nice and I feel like I'm in the bahamas ready for a drink with an umbrella in it.
Where's the beach?
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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PInk Tie is a start and I guess the fact that you even KNOW the color salmon puts you in the pastel shirt club! This is a good thing seeing as how a lot of men only know 5 colors. Everything else is a variation. Here's a test. (no looking it up) what color is ecru? :o)
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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Drew
old hand
Reged: 07/30/07
Posts: 1017
Loc: somewhere more familiar
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Debi,
I am thinking the answer to your color question would be dependant on what company ecru was working for? ;)
Thank you for your gracious compliment, I spent several years after high school employed as a graphic artist. I have made my living for the last 20 years though as an automobile mechanic. Go figure.
I have a well defined sense of color, balance and proportion. I always picked out the x's clothes. She was (is) quite the looker and was regularly complimented on "her" taste. I always decorated the house, from picking things out (everything from furnishings to accessories and wall decor etc.) to actually hanging and arranging etc. A long standing (joking) personal observation of mine has been that "I just missed being gay, I just don't like men that way!!!"
On a serious note. The psychologist who did our court ordered psych. evals. pointed out something to me that he said was exceptionally unusual. My testing/evaluation showed me to be without gender bias. Typically an individual "relates" to one gender or another (not sexually) but on an appreciation and or comfort level. I flatlined this area, he seemed to be interested by this result. He explained that some men wouldn't talk to a woman about this or that and vice versa, or perhaps this gender felt superior to this one etc. Not necessarily in a bigoted way simply on an ability to relate level. I am unencumbered by this bias. I guess I am some sort of freak!!?? ;)
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"living, learning, from my creator. you gave me life now show me how to live" c. cornell
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Melanie1
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Reged: 12/09/05
Posts: 587
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Drew and badasp,
My Mr. 21 year old's best friend has been nic-named the "Gay-est (is that a word, lol) straight guy around. Females love him, he can talk fine dining, wine, philosophy, religion, politics, decorating, music, broadway, etc. Is sweet and sensitive, loves to cook, and yet masculine at the same time. A rare mix :). But he's definitely straight and has a lovely girlfriend (have met her).
Mr. 21 also had a college roommate who loved to decorate their dorm room and he is very straight and just got engaged last week. I couldn't believe how well he did his and my son's dorm room (my son has NO artistic abilities whatsoever; is a physics major w/a minor in mathematics and couldn't care less about his surroundings); plus he was always straightening up my son's side of the room!
I'd love to meet someone who loves to cook, enjoys a good piece of art (I'm heavily involved in the arts)and has alot of traits that my son's 2 friends that I mentioned have!
I've dated a couple of artists and their homes were lovely and composed like paintings. And they love to cook! But alas, one was just too much older than myself and the other, it turned out was in a long distance serious relationship that a mutual friend told me about. Consequently, I broke it off as I liked the guy way too much, knew things could never blossom, plus I felt like we were cheating on his gf. And I didn't want to go there once I found that out.
So you're not as unusual as you think :).
Badasp: good for you re: the pink shirts and ties. My X had no problems wearing pastels whatsoever. He's always been extremely confident of his masculinity (and everything else about himself to put it mildly, lol) and didn't even mind being around gay guys at all.
Interesting turn of discussion :).
Melanie
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The journey of a 1,000 miles begins with a single step. Lao Tzu
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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Drew,
You just made me wonder what a conversation with you would be like! Geez.....it could go from cars to furniture to decorating in a matter of seconds! I have to admit I love the guys on this board these days. You all have restored my faith in the fact that there are well rounded men out there. If you tell me you enjoy cooking I might fall in love! LOL
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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JustMeAndThree
old hand
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 993
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[quote] I guess I am some sort of freak!!?? ;) [/quote]
If you call that being a "freak" then I think my town could use a lot more "freaks"
My ex was a mechanic by trade...but he wasn't in touch with his feminine side....he was too busy trying to PROVE how much of a man he was...if a guy talked about anything UNMANLY he was gay...pink shirt? he was gay...gel in his hair?...he was gay...the list goes on. It's nice to know that SOMEWHERE out there are some worthwhile men. I just wish they'd get directions to MY town :)
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Slap yourself, that wasn't funny.
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Drew
old hand
Reged: 07/30/07
Posts: 1017
Loc: somewhere more familiar
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O.k. you guys.. er.. um.. gals,
I gotta come clean on a couple of things. I am not much of a groomer. I have always (whether it is right or wrong, it's just my take) sorta perceived groomer guys as vain.
I do actually clean up pretty good though! ;) I still at the ripe old age of 42 (and after three children hee hee) wear the same size pants that I wore in high school.
I do enjoy cooking (I'm not Wolfgang Puck by any means) I just hate cleaning it all up. I don't have some vast archive of recipes or a wine cellar either. Most of what I do is that homework, you need what for your project that is due tomorrow that you have known about for two weeks, swap clothes from the washer to the dryer, sign agenda book, fold some of that mountain of forementioned laundry, diagnose dns error and and restore internet function, (after all these kids couldn't exist without their myspace)
mumble something unintelligable to myself about how I should have gone to the groc. store on saturday afternoon when I had the chance but instead sat down for a minute to read a chapter or two then woke up an hour or two later berating myself for having wasted that time, as I prepare instant everything and tell them I don't care if you like it or not, if you are hungry enough you will eat it. Also, if you don't like it tonite, I suggest you eat alot or it will be back on the menu for tomorrow or the next day!
Now, take these vitamins and get your little butt in the shower 'cause it is time for bed, I don't care what is on the disney channel you aren't watching it tonite, it will be on again tomorrow anyway, and besides, I bet you have already seen it twice and could recite the script to me. Allright baby girl I know daddy forgot the conditioner, but you are still taking a shower and since I am the one who has to brush your hair, don't worry about conditioner just get it clean!!!
Allright, I'm ok now, sorry about that, I got a little carried away. ;b
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"living, learning, from my creator. you gave me life now show me how to live" c. cornell
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Drew
old hand
Reged: 07/30/07
Posts: 1017
Loc: somewhere more familiar
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Debi,
about that conversation with me....you ever heard Charlie Brown talking to his parents? LOL!!
You don't wanna get inside my head, it's a scary place!
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"living, learning, from my creator. you gave me life now show me how to live" c. cornell
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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Join the club.The voices in my head have gotten a lot louder lately! LOL. The funny thing is your day (evening) sounds a lot like mine. I have one kid who hates all kinds of food unless it comes in a bag and is crunchy and bad for her, one who will eat everytihng and one who is middle of the road. I've told the oldest that if I cooked based on her likes and dislikes we would have the same things at least 3 nights a week. You can get a girl to take a shower without conditioner? You're a magician! I have one who thinks she is going to melt if clean water touches her and another who can't take a bath unless she has at least an hour to spend in the tub. *sigh* Somehow they all brush their teeth twice a day and never run out of toothpaste, I haven't figured out what they do with toilet paper. Is it any wonder we single parents have very little energy to consider bringing anyone else into our lives?
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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AtWitsEnd
newbie
Reged: 07/02/07
Posts: 35
Loc: AR
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Man, you guys are so funny! I love reading the threads on this board!
Drew, you sound too funny and smart at the same time. I like the way you write and I also enjoyed your poetry.
Badasp, you know I like your scense of humor and I love the way you dress! ;-) I also love Tommy Bahama stuff!!! Very cool!!
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Badasp
addict
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
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It's pretty comfortable stuff, and I'm all about being comfortable. Besides it's 25% off retail on the Navy base in San Diego. Makes it somewhat affordable.
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JustMeAndThree
old hand
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 993
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I sure do miss shoppping at the exchanges :( I miss buying things tax free too. <sigh> Maybe I need to hook up with another military man LOL
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Slap yourself, that wasn't funny.
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