ohiowife
recently joined
Reged: 08/14/05
Posts: 12
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I've asked my husband for a divorce. He makes 2x what I make. We moved to Ohio for his job. I told him that if he gives me money to relocate back home, I will not make a claim for his pension, ask him to pay any of my debts, etc. He outright refused and said that he will never give me a cent and will refuse to grant me a divorce. I have no money to move and don't know what to do. If I get a lawyer, he will drag it out and I don't have the money for that either. Any ideas?
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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You don't need his consent to get a divorce.
How much were you asking for to relocate? If it was exhorbitant, he may have a point. Moreover, I would hae advised your spouse not to pay anything until the agreement was in writing. If not, it is not binding or enforceable.
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ohiowife
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Reged: 08/14/05
Posts: 12
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I have asked for a little more than half than what I would get otherwise, I thought this was more than fair. And I am totally willing to put this in writing. He said that he would burn the money before giving me one cent.
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Rebecca5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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How long have you been married?
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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SO you are asking for MORE than your "fair share" and yet you consider that FAIR??
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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ohiowife
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Posts: 12
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3 years
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ohiowife
recently joined
Reged: 08/14/05
Posts: 12
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Read carefully. A little more than half of what I would receive if we went to court. Not more than half of our assets
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Rebecca5
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Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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I can't say I blame him for being pissed. You're the one asking for the divorce and then you have the nerve to ask him to bankroll your plans. What the court may award you wouldn't likely be "fair," it rarely is. For you to ask for more than that is fairly arrogant. Is it his fault that you can't afford to pay your own bills?
Sounds like your best bet may be to take it to court. After 3 years of marriage, I can't imagine you would get much. If you have children together, don't pack your bags just yet....Ohio is a very pro-father state.
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Miranda
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Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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You do not know what a court would award you. Your fair share may not be that FAIR at all. Fair to you, could possibly be UNFAIR to your ex. Especially on a three year marriage you expect pension rights? I know folks who were married much longer and pensions were not even a factor due to state "vesting laws". Odds are you will cut your losses and move on.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
Edited by Miranda (08/26/05 05:08 PM)
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Miranda
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Loc: North of Mexico
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I did not mean to parrot your post. I read yours after I psoted mine.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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Rebecca5
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Loc: Down home.
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There was a lot of audacity there. To hear it twice probably isn't a bad idea.
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Miranda
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Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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I know what you mean. "I will not touch his pension" made it sound like she had a real vested interest in it-like 10 or more years. Not three...
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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ohiowife
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Posts: 12
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Miranda and Rebecca, I am so sorry the two of you are so bitter to someone you don't even know. I live in a community property state, I am entitled to half of his pension accrued during our marriage which is significantly more than I am asking for. I am quite able to pay my bills, however we moved here for his job and if I am not with him, I have no reason to be here.
You two should join an anger management group
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Miranda
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Reged: 06/02/05
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Loc: North of Mexico
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Wow, I divorced in community property state! And my ex got ZIPPO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What a coincidence! Ever heard of judicial discretion???
You need to join a "get real" group.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
Edited by Miranda (08/26/05 06:06 PM)
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Miranda
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Loc: North of Mexico
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That the poster also wants him to keep her on his health insurance. I guess he needs to provide her medical insurance forever too after a three year marriage. Once the divorce is final you have no insurance.
Oh brother...
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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ohiowife
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Again, sorry again that you are so bitter. If you have something constructive to say, go for it; otherwise, I am sure there is an I am bitter and need to lash out forum somewhere
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Rebecca5
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Loc: Down home.
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I'm sorry if you interpreted "honesty" as bitterness. You couldn't be farther from the truth.
You are opting out of a contract and expect the other party to financially support your choice. I don't blame him for saying no. Hence my initial response of "try your luck in court." And Miranda's correct....living in a "community property state" does not automatically qualify you for a personal windfall. In my opinion, 3 years is nothing, in the land of marriage....and a judge may well agree.
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Miranda
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Loc: North of Mexico
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What do I have to be bitter about? My ex got nothing and I was the bread winner!! I am just informing you that you are seriously grasping for straws. People and their ENTITLEMENT ISSUES tend to annoy me.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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ohiowife
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Well Miranda, let's talk about entitlement. 1. I left a good job to move here for my spouse's new job. Before we left, I was the major breadwinner. Because my field is specific, I was only able to find a job on a contract basis which means no benefits. I discussed this with my husband before moving here.
2. I have split the bills with my husband equally since moving here even though he makes more than twice what I do.
3. I have agreed to let him keep the house and not hold any claim to it.
4. i have been diagnosed with a debilitating disease which will cost me over $1200 monthly if I do not have insurance.
Yes, I do believe I am "entitled" to the small amount that I am asking for. If you don't, that is fine, I did not write a personal letter to you; if you are annoyed, don't continue reading. I was just asking for advice and nothing else. Divorce is a hard enough thing to go to without people trying to berate you.
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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I apologize if you felt berated. That fact is that you had an extremely short term marriage and odds of you getting anything at all(besides a division of real property)is slim.
How long have you lived in OH? If there is any kind of equity in the house have him cash it out and you move home. You should also check into getting some kind of help (SSI/disability) from the state. Start the paperwork NOW because it could take months to complete.
Don't be fooled with the notion of "community property states". Every presumption can be argued and won with a slick talking attorney.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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ohiowife
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Posts: 12
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I know it has been a short marriage, I had a free consultation with an attorney and he said no matter if it goes to court or not I will get 1/2 of everything. We have lived in OH for 2 years. He will not agree to anything concerning giving me any money. Like I said, I am not looking for a windfall, just enough to move myself back home. One of the reasons he took this job was because of the retirement plan which he said would be great for us. He contributed less to the household expenses because he has been putting 20% of his income into his retirement. This is so hard, I hate divorce
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Rebecca5
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Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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Remember that an attorney is attempting to sell you a service. An attorney that will tell you the honest truth is harder to find....and you probably wouldn't hire them. The ones that tell you what you want to hear usually get the job.
Divorce sucks....any chance of saving the marriage?
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MikeBlass
newbie
Reged: 09/11/05
Posts: 45
Loc: South Carolina
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You may have a small possible chance there are lawyers that can refer you to other options and also other lawyers in your area for as little as a visit for less than $50.00
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Michael c Blassingame
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/michael92
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liedtome
recently joined
Reged: 10/03/05
Posts: 5
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I think it may have been better if you stated first why you want to get away from him. Maybe everyone who replied might be alittle more understanding. Good Luck!
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