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RockSolid
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Reged: 10/23/07
Posts: 10
Counselors sharing information
      #308845 - 10/23/07 07:06 AM

I have been seeing a counselor for individual therapy to work on personal issues. My wife and I just started going to a marriage counselor and I told her that I was also going to individual counseling and now she wants me to sign an information release so that they can share information. I personally do not have things to hide, but I am wondering if: 1) Could this be detrimental to marriage counseling, 2) Could it hurt me if we do decide to divorce and 3) Is this normal for counselors to share personal information about individual sessions. I am trying to cover my butt right now and don’t want to make any mistakes that may hurt me in the long run.

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cupidsgym1
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Reged: 07/25/07
Posts: 69
Re: Counselors sharing information [Re: RockSolid]
      #310247 - 10/24/07 08:00 PM

My first instinct says, no, don't sign any release of information. Go ahead and risk the accusations that you are hiding something. You know you're not. Be strong in that resolve. If the S#*t hits the fan, she'll have those records subpoenaed anyhow, so if it's that important, make her work for it. When she sees there's nothing there to make an issue out of, she'll be the dumb-ass. The fact that you are making efforts on two fronts is commendable in itself. Some spouses (like mine) will refuse to admit they even have issues, never seek help and will blame the other for all the unhappiness in their lives. Stand fast, don't try to be the nice guy. You'll finish last.

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cupidsgym1
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Reged: 07/25/07
Posts: 69
Re: Counselors sharing information [Re: cupidsgym1]
      #310249 - 10/24/07 08:01 PM

Hey! They called me a newbie! What's with that? I've been around.. LOL!

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RockSolid
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Reged: 10/23/07
Posts: 10
Re: Counselors sharing information [Re: cupidsgym1]
      #311204 - 10/26/07 09:41 AM

Quote:

My first instinct says, no, don't sign any release of information. Go ahead and risk the accusations that you are hiding something. You know you're not. Be strong in that resolve. If the S#*t hits the fan, she'll have those records subpoenaed anyhow, so if it's that important, make her work for it. When she sees there's nothing there to make an issue out of, she'll be the dumb-ass. The fact that you are making efforts on two fronts is commendable in itself. Some spouses (like mine) will refuse to admit they even have issues, never seek help and will blame the other for all the unhappiness in their lives. Stand fast, don't try to be the nice guy. You'll finish last.




I spoke with both counselors and they agree that joining together would help determine the best course of action to take and would help in the healing. I live in a “no fault” state, so she could subpoena anything she wanted and it still wouldn’t matter. I am out to make myself a better person. If our marriage improves because of this, I am all for it. I signed the release and sent them two days ago. We’ll see how things go.


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RockSolid
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Reged: 10/23/07
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Re: Counselors sharing information [Re: RockSolid]
      #313107 - 10/30/07 06:57 AM

The counselors both agree that she has some major underlying issues that she needs to work on herself. I, myself, am a work in progress, but I feel real good about myself. I know that if our marriage doesn't work out that it wasn't because I didn't try and can lay some of the blame on her.

She continues to be distant and drinks. It hurts me that she is not supportive when it comes to alcohol because she drinks in front of me almost like, "In your face!".

All I know is that I have a strong will to succeed and am becoming a better person because of it. If or when I find someone else, she will be treated like a queen, because I am not the same person that I was.


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RockSolid
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Reged: 10/23/07
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Re: Counselors sharing information [Re: RockSolid]
      #314383 - 11/01/07 06:50 AM

Saw my counselor this last night and told her that my wife confessed about having an affair with our pastor (I cannot ever go back to that church). I have never seen a person so stunned. She explained that I have the right to be hurt and asked where I wanted to go from here. I told her that I wanted to move on, as my wife should too. I do feel hurt, but also somewhat relieved that I have a life ahead of me since I am only 32. I am going to continue individual counseling, but as far as I am concerned, marriage counseling is out.

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