stuckinarut
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 10/12/07
Posts: 1631
Loc: Island of Man
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I dont understand that...I pay the mortgage and bills...its not fair.....
-------------------- "The King of fraud and corruption"
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googledad
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10207
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NY is an equitable distribution state , she'll probably get more than half .
-------------------- Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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stuckinarut
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 10/12/07
Posts: 1631
Loc: Island of Man
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oh that cant be?
-------------------- "The King of fraud and corruption"
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googledad
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10207
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Do yourself a favor and read this . I understand emotions are up as you're just starting the process but you do not understand what you're in for as a man with a stay at home wife in NY . You can bicker and argue over every little thing with your wife and cost yourself every penny you've ever earned or both of you can come to an agreement you can live with . If this goes to a jude you can count on paying child support , spousal support , seeing your kids every other weekend ( without joint custody ) , paying all/most of her legal fees and losing well over half of any property you've managed to accumulate . I understand it's not easy to settle these issues ,especially as you BOTH want to argue but keep it up and I can guarantee you that sooner or later you'll be served a restraining order preventing you from contacting her , the kids or entering your own home .
http://www.brandeslaw.com/
-------------------- Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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stuckinarut
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 10/12/07
Posts: 1631
Loc: Island of Man
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i thought she could only get a restraining order if i hit her?
-------------------- "The King of fraud and corruption"
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Renee
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4022
Loc: The Palmetto State
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Relayers ex got an RO because he used the F-word with her. All she had to do was tell the judge she was afraid of him. Raise your voice, lose your temper, even make an off-handed comment how your life would be better if she was just gone, and she can try for an RO.
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stuckinarut
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 10/12/07
Posts: 1631
Loc: Island of Man
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thats if the judge believes her
-------------------- "The King of fraud and corruption"
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26700
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thats if the judge believes her
That sounds good when you say it really fast, but which side of this do you think the judge is going to err on, will he think this one through with a huge investigation or is it easier to err on the side of caution and try to prevent another domestic violence incident. It is probably easier and less grief if you work out some kind of agreement which you won't be happy with but can live with, but you have to understand that rarely are both parties "happy" with the outcome, but what you can live with is alot different than what you like. Keep your cool, this is going to happen in some way no matter how unfair you pesonally think it is.
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stuckinarut
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 10/12/07
Posts: 1631
Loc: Island of Man
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i got her taped cursing at me and will have the judge listen to it...she says i provoke the fights infront of the kids
-------------------- "The King of fraud and corruption"
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2015
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[quote]i thought she could only get a restraining order if i hit her? [/quote]
When I got a restraining order against my ex, he didn't hit me. In fact, what he did (which he admitted to when the cops came) wasn't as bad as what he has done in the past.
Hitting isn't the only form of assault. My ex is just lucky that I decided not to press charges.
In fact, when I was there to have the TRO dimissed to a consent order in the family court, there was a case before mine that didn't involve hitting at all.
The ex threatened his ex-wife. And was stupid enough to leave the threat on her cell-phone voicemail. She got a permanent restraining order.
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