smkymtnana
recently joined
Reged: 09/15/05
Posts: 8
Loc: North Carolina
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Thanks for the input and well wishes,time goes on and I will get through this. I think that I will eventually have my house back,just a matter of time so I'll ride out the storm in a safe port and just wait for him to fall-it's going to happen.
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allison
newbie
Reged: 09/24/05
Posts: 44
Loc: So Cal
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My thoughts are with you and I hope the best for you in this really big decision and hopefully truely freeing experience, it wont be easy but it sound like the right path for you....God bless
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Its always darkest just before it goes pitch black" - www.despair.com
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smkymtnana
recently joined
Reged: 09/15/05
Posts: 8
Loc: North Carolina
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Well, all my things are out of the house and I'll be going to mom's for awhile. Would have gotten back on sooner, but husband got mad and took the power cord off the computer for a few days--go figure! Right now I'm steadily looking for a more permanent place as my younger sister will be moving in with mom in about a month.
As much as it pains me to think about everything that's gone on, I know (deep down) in my heart that all will work out eventually. Just wish that I wasn't going to have to wait a whole year before getting "out" completely, but state law requires a 1 year seperation before filing for divorce. The only thing that worries me is what he may try to do with the house and such between now and then. I have talked to our co-signers and let them know basically what's going on and that if anything should happen with house they are going to let me know right away. So I may get my house after all, I know that he won't be able to afford it ,atleast not by himself.
Best of luck to all and thanks for all the advice,just hearing from you all has helped me alot!
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allison
newbie
Reged: 09/24/05
Posts: 44
Loc: So Cal
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You sound very good for your circumstances. One thing that may feel wierd now but may be very important later about the home. If you can go there when you know he is not home and take photos of everything, inside and out. be sure to develope them in a regular store so you have a record of the date - pay for them with a debit or atm and keep the reciept - that way, if he does anything deliberate or even just not maintaining the home, he can have the repairs come out of his half of the interest. My ex took a nice 1999 Saab (I paid 1/2 from an inheritance on a loan to him ne never repaid) and ran it into the ground. Then he did the same thing to another car, a Jeep Wagoneer - I had no car and had to go buy one.....At least with that you can look up blue book value, but I dont have any documentation of the condition and he took a Harley Davidson too - so were talking $40k in vehicles I had no control over.....again, if you dont need the photos later, throw them away, but it's a good investment - also a good excercise in starting to protect and defend yourself - you need to not always accept - I always say - God just might want you to fight this one....(acceptance has it's merits but it depends on WHO is doing the asking) and the other one is - Just 'cus someone serves you a Peanut butter and sh*t sandwich, doesn't mean you have to pick it up and eat it.
Ok - and now my ALL time FAVORITE - by the famous painter Francis Bacon:
Champaign for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends!
You GO girl - (and try not to look back to often) :)
--------------------
Its always darkest just before it goes pitch black" - www.despair.com
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kerrys
recently joined
Reged: 11/06/05
Posts: 3
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I am new at this too. Your story sounds a lot like mine. I am tired of being mistreated. I can't take the verbal abuse anymore. My kids are suffering too - ages 10, 12, and 15. They get yelled at and they are afraid of him. They are also afraid of losing thier home. It is so unfair after I have been there for him for 20 years. He is so spoiled and selfish he doesn't care that it's killing the rest of us.
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