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yregna
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Where are all the nice guys ?
      #339322 - 01/02/08 03:35 PM


What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were [censored] treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the drunken charming boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an [censored] than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've f^cked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullsh!t and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't f^cking want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"


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Renee
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Where Are All the Good Women [Re: yregna]
      #339410 - 01/02/08 07:29 PM

What happened to all the good women?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic girl pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. She'd hang out with you and watch your favorite teams games, she’d take time to help you get your place ready for the big party, she’d give you advice on how to get noticed by that Hot Chick you just had to land. She’d answer your questions truthfully when you asked what you were doing wrong with women, she’d tell you what a wench the chick was who dumped you.

At the time, you probably joked with your buddies about how desperate she was, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to her. The guys teased you because they thought you’d actually nailed her, and if you hadn’t you should because she ‘was there’. Given that her behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied any interest in her; besides, her boobs weren’t big enough / her @ss was too flat / she wasn’t hot enough for you.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the latest Hot Chick got more serious and spending time with this other woman meant your girlfriend wouldn’t put out and would nag the hell out of you over it. More time passed, and the girlfriend eventually complained you didn’t dress well enough, take her out enough, spend enough money on her, and you wanted sex too much. You started to realize that the things that attracted you to her weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. Once the makeup came off and the hairspray wore out and the sweatpants came out, she was just a miserable, shallow person. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered skanks and chicks wanting your credit report, you wonder, "What happened to all the good women?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the good woman. You used her as a sounding board and a confidant, without reciprocating, in kind, or with physical intimacy. You laughed at her consideration and resented her devotion. You valued the gold-digging, plastic girlfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, she took the hint and moved on with her life. She probably came to realize, one day, that men aren't really attracted to women who are honest, who are trustworthy, or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or who have your back when the chips are down. She came to realize that, if she wanted a man like you, she'd have to act more like the girlfriend that you had. She probably started working out, got a makeover, started making some money, and generally found the self-respect to not accept being on any guys B-list.

Fact is, now, she's probably giving it up nightly to a nice guy who appreciates who she is, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of her is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "good women" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most men will only have a handful of good women stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a good woman, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of her.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a good woman, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile, shallow taste in women. In which case, you might be in luck, because the good woman you claim to want has, in reality, decided that she’s successful enough on her own that she’s perfectly content to have a bed buddy and then send you home after dinner.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've f^cked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullsh!t and deal with reality. You didn't want a good woman then, and she certainly doesn't f^cking want you, or NEED you, now.

Sincerely,

A Successful Good Woman

Edited by Renee (01/02/08 07:37 PM)


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Reilly
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Re: Where Are All the Good Women [Re: Renee]
      #339449 - 01/02/08 08:57 PM

Perfect Renee!!!!!!!

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Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?~Marilyn Monroe


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1004SRS
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Re: Where Are All the Good Women [Re: Renee]
      #339481 - 01/02/08 10:15 PM

wooo hoooo....... good job Renee

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googledad
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Re: Where Are All the Good Women [Re: Reilly]
      #339495 - 01/02/08 10:41 PM

The only problem with Renee's reply is that most men would have already tried to sleep with their platonic female friend .

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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.


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jss1
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Reged: 10/09/07
Posts: 133
Loc: New York
Re: Where Are All the Good Women [Re: googledad]
      #340970 - 01/05/08 02:17 PM

Actually theres a lot of truth in both.

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Life is tough dont make it tougher.


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Relayer
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Re: Where Are All the Good Women [Re: googledad]
      #341217 - 01/06/08 06:32 AM

[quote]The only problem with Renee's reply is that most men would have already tried to sleep with their platonic female friend . [/quote]


I think it's funny that women actually think they can be just "friends" with a guy.

No matter what the guy says, his ultimate aim is to get laid.

Always.

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GO CUBBIES!!!!


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changes
Pooh-Bah
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Reged: 04/07/07
Posts: 1820
Re: Where Are All the Good Women [Re: Relayer]
      #341236 - 01/06/08 09:48 AM

[quote]

I think it's funny that women actually think they can be just "friends" with a guy.

No matter what the guy says, his ultimate aim is to get laid.

Always. [/quote]

Yep. And if he's gay....he still wants to get laid...just not with you.

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If I agreed with you then we'd both be wrong.


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Pooh-Bah
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Re: Where Are All the Good Women [Re: Renee]
      #341243 - 01/06/08 10:17 AM

The comparison doesn't quite work as the guy wouldn't pass up sleeping with the platonic girl friend. HIs friends might make fun of him....but he'd still do it. Small boobs and flat butts don't throw off nice guys. Maybe it will the bad boys the nice girls wants...like her girlfriends want...and the nice guys are available. Nice guys are at least smart enough to avoid going after the hot girls....too great a waste of time. Nice girls going after bad boys....lots of bad boys....someone will take her in.

I hate even semi-ageeing with a non-logical angry person....but in this case....he's at least 75% correct.

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If I agreed with you then we'd both be wrong.


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Renee
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Re: Where Are All the Good Women [Re: Relayer]
      #341285 - 01/06/08 12:41 PM

Since when do you subscribe to the theory of absolutes? You *know* there are exceptions to every rule and every societal norm.

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