SteelersJR1
addict
Reged: 10/03/05
Posts: 693
Loc: PA
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Can anyone explain to me how the PA courts have come up with the laws we have? A-my STBX filed false charges against me, which I can prove, B-I've been "permanently" evicted from MY home, C-she cheated on me a WEEK before this, D-she ADMITS she cheated, E-she has, for all intents and purposes kept my son from me for the past 3 weeks, and next week, I have the privilege of going to court & WILL, according to my lawyer, pay spousal support? Where have we gotten to, when the laws favor the ones who are doing the bsd things more than the ones who are basically good? I know this sounds like whining, and maybe it is in some ways. But I REALLY have a problem with this. (Not that I can dop anything about it anyway). Whatever happened to justice & good people? Whatever happened to "let's work on our issues, maybe we can solve them", instead of "it's noy going the way I planned, so Mr policeman, come arrest him"?
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kav
old hand
Reged: 06/10/05
Posts: 816
Loc: NC
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SteelersJr
Sounds like you have a bad attorney. When I divorced my 1st husband in PA, there wasn't alimony, once the divorce was final the support stopped. Maybe that changed this was a long time ago. Anyway, I would think any decisions made in the court like any state will depend on the judge. When is your court date? Make sure you have everything you need to back yourself up.
I'm so sorry that you are getting this tossed your way as if divorce alone isn't enough to turn your world upside down.
Kim
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Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.
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mlh53
member
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 110
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Don't live in PA but have a good friend who does and her STBX is managing to not pay her a dime in support. He doesn't even pay anything for the kids. She says that PA law really favors guys and dads now, way over the wife/mother. She was a SAHM for about 7 or 8 years, though very educated, and STBX, along with the courts, said she could easily go back to work and make more than the STBX. She has and now he's fighting for custody of the kids, along with support! And he's an executive with a large, publically held company, cheated on her several times, but comes off like Father of the Year and Mr. Nice Guy. So I guess it goes both ways.
Melanie
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NancyD
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2105
Loc: New York
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This has been going on for a while, and in many states. It's called "no fault divorce." No fault needed to file for a divorce, and in states where fault still needs to be established, lying is the norm. It's usually used to get around the need for a fault, having one spouse agree to accept a non-agressive fault (they actually use the term "constructive abandonment" which doesn't mean anything, really, except just this).
And, of course, it doesn't matter who actually precipitated the demise of the marriage. Society doesn't punish adultery with ostracism anymore, so the "penalty" for having an affair is often the reward of knowing well ahead of time that you want out of the marriage, and being able to make your financial plans accordingly by hiding assets and getting what you can from your spouse while they are in the dark.
Divorce was never meant to be easy, but then I've always thought they've made it far too easy to get married. If people had to sit through a couple of divorce trials before they were allowed to get a marriage license, maybe people would have a more realistic sense of what happens.
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SteelersJR1
addict
Reged: 10/03/05
Posts: 693
Loc: PA
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Melanie, actually, if what you have said about fathers being better off in PA courts is true, that is FANTASTIC. I am trying to get custody-I know I sometimes sound like the old "I was framed" movies, but honestly, that IS what happened. Anyway, the environment she has my 5yr old son in is disgusting. Not the physical living conditions, but the emotional and moral (as if THAT counts for anything any more) conditions. Although she has me by the, well, you know by what, right now, she obviously is at least somewhat concerned-my lawyer received a letter stating she would drop spousal support if I dropped custody. Ain't gonna happen. I'll fight for my son till they lay me down for The Big Sleep. My court date is a week from today. I'm already paying child support, which I don't mind-I will definitely support my children, no matter what, but my attorney says I'll probably be paying about $1100-$1200 combined for child & spousal. THAT I have an issue with. Geoff
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SteelersJR1
addict
Reged: 10/03/05
Posts: 693
Loc: PA
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Nancy, I said the same thing to a friend the other day. These days, you can get married without worry. If it doesn't work to your liking, get another partner, kick out your spouse, and get PAID for it. Hmm, get paid to have sex-does that make me a PIMP? Sorry, venting a little. I just don't believe this country's judical/legal system has moved so far to the left. This country was founded on the basics: morality, freedom, you know where I'm going with this. When does it stop? Will it soon be OK to kill, just because you're not happy? Geoff
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SteelersJR1
addict
Reged: 10/03/05
Posts: 693
Loc: PA
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Kim, I really don't think it's my lawyer. From everyone I've talked to he's got a BAD reputaion, which really means a GOOD one from my side. A large part of it is the fact that, although the accusations against me are false, and I can PROVE they're false, two different attorneys have told me that unless there was a witness there at the scene, I won't win the case, even with proof, so all I would be doing is wasting time and money. Long-term, it won't hurt me anyway-probation and a fine, no criminal record. But to me its the PRINCIPAL of it all. I've been a good person my whole life. NEVER been "in trouble" before, heck, I don't even have a speeding ticket in the last 10 years! Anyway, my court date in a week from today. Wish me luck, Geoff
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kav
old hand
Reged: 06/10/05
Posts: 816
Loc: NC
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Geoff
You have just one child? It seems like your getting hit with a lot for support in PA?
I'm sorry to hear how you seem to be getting screwed here. But in the end I'm sure you'll win. Everything seems to balance out in the right direction. These days men have an easier chance of getting custody than they used to. If your son is in such a bad environment, I can't see the judge not going in your favor. My brother-in-law just got custody of his kids. It was done in Texas but it seems the judge considers more what the father says and the environment that the children are in. Way back when, they use to think the best place for the child was with the mother. Now they take a lot more into consideration.
Good luck next week. We'll all be pushing for you!!
Kim
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Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.
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SteelersJR1
addict
Reged: 10/03/05
Posts: 693
Loc: PA
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Kim, yes, one child. My STBX was a SAHM for 5 years-she quit her job 7 months into her pregnancy. I blame myself for some of it-I let my pride get in the way of not wanting her (please do not translate "not LETTING her, as she has") to work. I was proud that I could support my family (wife, step-daughter, son) and buy the home we had (oh yeah, I only got to live there for a year.) and still have some money for entertainment. Come to find out, she had her own entertainment for quite a while, including a very close, now ex, friend. Geoff
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kav
old hand
Reged: 06/10/05
Posts: 816
Loc: NC
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So your stbx still doesn't work? Is your son in school all day? Is there Alimony in PA once the divorce is final? What about the house you bought? You're letting her stay there? Or will you sell? Do you think you have enough proof to get custody of your son? Again, I have to say it all depends on the judge you get, if there's proof of her infidelity I can't imagine a judge looking to kindly on her, even if this doesn't come into play in PA. Hang tough Geoff, you'll get through this and in the end I'm sure the turn out won't be quite so bad.
Kim
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Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.
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