kav
old hand
Reged: 06/10/05
Posts: 816
Loc: NC
|
|
Hello All
I think it is so sad they someone would feel the need to leave this board because a person or persons would make them feel that uncomfortable.
By luck, I came across this forum while I was going through the worse time of my life. So bad that I had thoughts of dying, that the loneliness just ate me up inside, the heartache was more than I thought any human being should have to live through. This board was a BIG part of saving my life.
You can only go to family and friends so often with the pain you feel. First, most of them don't fully understand how bad it is and second, they must get tired of hearing it. And even if they don't, we just don't want to keep burdening them with our problems.
It was the best to come hear and read that the people here knew exactly how I felt and they went through the same process and the same stages. It's good to come here and vent when I'm angry or sad and have someone tell me they are here for me, that it will pass and life will go on. It was good for me to try and give someone else hurting, advice and hopefully help relieve the pain if just a small amount for just a short time.
I always swore by this board.
It saddens me that someone going through the same pain we all went through. Going through the "hell" that at one time we all thought we wouldn't survive, would feel they have to leave this board because of negative and hurtful feedback they got. That's not what this forum is about, is it? In case some of you haven't noticed, its getting smaller and there are less posts. What does that do for the person of divorce tomorrow?
Let's not let a few bad apples ruin what we all need and want.
I feel I have made good friends here. People I can truly rely on.
Let's get together and rally. Let's get Lori and anyone else that feels they need to leave to come back to the friends they have. And to hell with the ones that don't like it. Because we are here for YOU!!!
Hugs and more hugs
Kim
--------------------
Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.
|
passem
addict
Reged: 06/26/04
Posts: 463
Loc: Left Coast
|
|
...often times it is simply a matter of perception.
[quote]It saddens me that someone going through the same pain we all went through. Going through the "hell" that at one time we all thought we wouldn't survive, would feel they have to leave this board because of negative and hurtful feedback they got.[/quote]
There are times that people don't receive the responses they seek and hope or expect to receive, that others may have a different point of view. There are also times that posters can honestly disagree with one another based upon their experiences. None of those need to be or are necessarily intended to be negative or hurtful. They're simply different.
--------------------
Depression is merely anger without passion!
|
kav
old hand
Reged: 06/10/05
Posts: 816
Loc: NC
|
|
but is that what's happening here? The difference of opinion is one of the things that helps us make our decisions. We need to weigh our options. I'm just not sure that is whats chasing people away.
--------------------
Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.
|
passem
addict
Reged: 06/26/04
Posts: 463
Loc: Left Coast
|
|
both the perceptions of those who feel chased away and the intent of those they feel chased by.
Bottom line, we'll never know for sure.
--------------------
Depression is merely anger without passion!
|
kav
old hand
Reged: 06/10/05
Posts: 816
Loc: NC
|
|
Okay, I agree with you. I just want people to feel welcome. And me personally appreciate the differences in opinion. It helps me to see things from both sides.
Thanks for the insight.
Kim
--------------------
Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.
|
NancyD
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2105
Loc: New York
|
|
I, too, have found these boards very helpful, but I was pretty well passed the initial stages of hurt and anger when I came here about seven years ago. If I had still been hurting I don't think I would have ever posted, given the way some of the posters on other boards attack people who are just looking for answers to straight questions.
One of the things I liked about "this" particular board is that most of us are dealing with the same issues and are on the same page. We want to move on and get past this thing called "divorce"...and not let it define the rest of our lives. How each of us does that varies greatly, and that can be where a difference of opinion comes in on "Life After Divorce". But it certainly can't be so different that someone is driven off the board. I have to think that somewhere, someone took offense to a post Lori made somewhere else in DivorceSource.
I've only had the best experience here. Certainly not every poster has agreed with my opinion on certain things, but I've learned to handle those the same way I do in real life...if it's someone I care about, I talk it out. If it's someone I don't know from a hole in the wall, well, they don't come close to touching my feelings.
To sum it up, this is a semi-public forum, and anyone on the internet can register and view your opinion, send you a nasty private message, and otherwise be obnoxious. But they really have no idea who or where you are (unless you tell them).
Keep that in mind, folks, when you post.
|
forthekidz
veteran
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 1383
|
|
I welcome differing opinions from my own. It helps me try to understand the point of view that others have. I think the part that is hard is when people get called names and such. People can have strong opinions, but it is all in the presentation, you know?
|
jminpa
newbie
Reged: 09/28/05
Posts: 44
Loc: pa
|
|
Hi Kim!
I agree with you. When I first came on this board, Lori was one of the first people I spoke with. She has been a big help to me...so have a few others...you know who you are. I felt safe here. I felt that I could voice an opinion and get help with problems when I needed it. There is no need to be nasty to each other. Remember we are ALL in this boat together and we are not going to let it SINK!!!!
hugs,
jan
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
