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Patrice
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Reged: 07/21/06
Posts: 401
Re: Not Chastising [Re: Redlegg]
      #358831 - 02/10/08 10:53 AM

Cici, I have thought about this a little, although my kids are both in college and not at home most of the time. I think I would not mind them "meeting" a person I was in the early stages of dating, but would wait to really bring them together (as in dinner) a little longer.

I'm actually wondering how it will feel to discuss my social life regarding another man with my sons. The idea still seems a little strange, although I wouldn't try to hide it either.

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To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.


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PhoenixRising
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Reged: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
Re: Not Chastising [Re: Patrice]
      #358876 - 02/10/08 12:18 PM

"I'm actually wondering how it will feel to discuss my social life regarding another man with my sons."

I don't discuss it w/ my sons... BUT they discuss it w/ me!


They think it is like saying what they want for Christmas :)

They would like me to meet a guy, who has lots of money; likes to go to football and baseball games; and knows a lot about cars. lol...

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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato


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Patrice
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Re: Not Chastising [Re: PhoenixRising]
      #359125 - 02/10/08 09:28 PM

That's funny, PR! My mom has already told me to find an "older man" because they're more satisfied, whatever that really means. I actually just had coffee w someone who fit that bill (7 yrs older than me) who was very nice and unassuming (and seems to be well employed) but I'm not sure about sparks.

I think I also want to wait to fill in my kids in case the whole thing fizzles. Not sure if there is any future with this one anyway.

My own wish list does include things like cute/handsome, likes some of the music I like, shares some political leanings, has a sense of humor. But then that pretty much describes my ex and look where that got me!!

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To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.


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CiCi
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Reged: 03/28/07
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Re: Not Chastising [Re: Patrice]
      #359229 - 02/11/08 07:10 AM

You definitely have to have sparks, but I have to say, those can develop as you get to know someone better. I met a great guy who I thought was cute for the most part on the first date...but not necessarily animal magnitism. However, over the course of the next 3 dates, I found him more and more attractive! And now, the sparks are definitely there!!! I hope you can go out on a couple more dates with this guy, Patrice, and see if something grows.

PR - it's so cute that your sons want to discuss it. I think it shows their genuince care and concern for your happiness! You're very fortunate!!!

HUGS,
CiCi

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Remember: A clean house is the sign of a wasted life.


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BeckaLeigh
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Re: Curious [Re: CiCi]
      #362202 - 02/18/08 09:03 AM

CiCi, personally, I have only dated one man that my kids know of since I married their dad in '97. And that is my current H. Mainly because he was the only one I got serious with after their dad. I mean, emotionally and mentally attatched. Not just $ex, or loneliness. I dated but if I felt it was going nowhere, which 99% of them did, my kids didnt need to know. Of course, they were only 2, 3 and 5 at the time (I think, I'd have to do the math to say positively), so it was a bit different for me.

There was no way I was bringing guy after guy into my children's lives to have them get attatched to them and then have the guy disappear one day. 6 months seems reasonable to me. It is different for everyone, depending on how the relationship progresses, ages of children involved, etc...


Edited to add that my XH is not the father of my DD11. XH was the only father figure DD11 knew, as her father had what would prove to be fatal cancer from the time she was about 1 1/2 that we knew of. He passed away when she was 4. She has nothing to do with XH now or for the last 5 or 6 years, he became very abusive to her over time during the marriage.

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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

Edited by BeckaLeigh (02/18/08 10:09 AM)


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Relayer
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Reged: 03/13/07
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Re: Not Chastising [Re: Redlegg]
      #363309 - 02/19/08 04:42 PM

I dated my second wife for 6 months before my kids met her. They were fine with it.

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GO CUBBIES!!!!


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recoveryroad2
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Reged: 02/03/08
Posts: 5
Re: Curious [Re: CiCi]
      #372959 - 03/10/08 09:36 PM

My personal opinion is that if I dont see the SO as a potential spouse, I dont want my children to become involved/attatched.

I do realize though that a HUGE part of the progression of a relationship is observing how the SO and childern interact. So, Im not sayin that I would wait till an engagement or something. I would definately wait a long while though before putting my kids into a situation like a new relationship.


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