vick
journeyman
Reged: 12/23/07
Posts: 69
Loc: tn
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hey everybody, i am thinking about mediation. does anyone know the approximate cost. I heard it was expensive, almost as much as a lawyer. if I start the mediation and I can't agree, will the judge favor her in court. He already does favor her anyway. i am pretty sure she knows him. it is a small town and her family of 12 children know everyone there. her father was well respected and knew all the sheriff and all the judges. she cuts a lot of the court officials hair. every time we go to the courthouse,even whwn we were going for a divorce 3 yrs ago, a lot of court clerks and people working in the court were talking to her and hugging her neck. we went to court march 5th 08 and she was hugging a court worker. Also. does anyone know what i need to do to get a mediation started. do i need to file a form to the court or what, and how do i get a form? any help would be greatly appreciated. vick
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peace
member
Reged: 08/24/07
Posts: 146
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Vick..my whole divorce was done through mediation. It cost me 1000 dollars for mediation and 5oo for her laywer to present it in court. My xh and i picked the mediator. It took 4 sessions and one court date and we were done! We were able to agree on everything.We split everything 50/50 and joint custody of child. I thought it went smooth however now I wish a few more things were put in the divoce papers. If she is wiling to work it out through mediation it does save money
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vick
journeyman
Reged: 12/23/07
Posts: 69
Loc: tn
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that's the problem. she is so mad she wants everything. she would never agree to what i want and it isn't much at all. she wants like i said everything even full legal and physical custody of my little boy. i can't ever do that. she has mental issues. I'm gonna try and get a psych eval done on her. do you know what i do to do that. do i request it a motion or what...my lawyer screwed me royally. she charged me 1000 bucks for just one court appearance and a couple of phone calls. and i don't remember if i posted it earlier but she kept telling to hold on when i was writing on paper to tell her what to ask and briefed her right before we went into the courtroom. she kept saying hold on and the judge started ruling against me and i said do something and she said I can't , he's already started ruling. is that true. couldn't she have stopped him by interrupting professionally. that's the problem. she is so mad she wants everything. she would never agree to what i want and it isn't much at all. she wants like i said everything even full legal and physical custody of my little boy. i can't ever do that. she has mental issues. I'm gonna try and get a psych eval done on her. do you know what i do to do that. do i request it a motion or what...my lawyer screwed me royally. she charged me 1000 bucks for just one court appearance and a couple of phone calls. and i don't remember if i posted it earlier but she kept telling to hold on when i was writing on paper to tell her what to ask and briefed her right before we went into the courtroom. she kept saying hold on and the judge started ruling against me and i said do something and she said I can't , he's already started ruling. is that true. couldn't she have stopped him by interrupting professionally.
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kschnitz
newbie
Reged: 02/20/07
Posts: 36
Loc: Texas
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Doesn't sound like you are a good candidate for mediation, both parties have to want to get it over with. In TX all we did was get a recommendation on a local mediator and have each side and their layer's agree with the choice. We didn't have any visitation issues, so it was just a matter of working out the equalization of funds and property. We actually had our lawyers sit with us (each team in a different room) with the mediator going between. Got all the details worked out in one sitting. It cost me around $1,000, but saved a lot of money compared to going to court. Highly recommend this path if at all possible. The mediator and lawyer's already have a good idea how things are going to work out in court anyway and guide you on those areas that you may be being unreasonable (or aren't economically worth fighting for).
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SuperCat
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vick
journeyman
Reged: 12/23/07
Posts: 69
Loc: tn
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thanks for the info. it was good. made me realize what i needed to know
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CaptainJim
enthusiast
Reged: 01/15/05
Posts: 378
Loc: FLORIDA
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I have to disagree. To me it sounds like you stand a FAR better chance in mediation than you do by walking into a court room where everyone knows and likes your STBX.
Her being mad had nothing to do with it. Odds are you will be in two separate rooms and the mediator will go between them talking with you both. Remember a mediator is only successful if he can get a signed agreement. He cares more about his own personal record than he does the two of you.
If your needs are so simple then ask for more. A lot more. Then work your way down to something you can live with. That way she'll feel like she won and she'll be happy. You may end up with much more than you expect.
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Single dad who won custody
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GrammaLatte
enthusiast
Reged: 02/14/08
Posts: 307
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I did a little browsing through Tennessee's laws and apparently, the court often will order mediation if the parents can't come up with an agreement.
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Been there, done that, don't wanna do it again
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vick
journeyman
Reged: 12/23/07
Posts: 69
Loc: tn
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thanks. i need all the info i can get.
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Pops_IL_CP_Dad
addict
Reged: 02/02/08
Posts: 406
Loc: Illinois
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What ruling did the judge issue?
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Focus on what is legally relevant, not morally indignant or petty.
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vick
journeyman
Reged: 12/23/07
Posts: 69
Loc: tn
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supervised visitation with her sister. he let her make the decision on who could supervise me. i asked if my sister could be one also and the judge asked my wife if it was ok and she said no because she barely knew her and she knows her well. very well. i don't have a chance in that county.
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