Pops_IL_CP_Dad
addict
Reged: 02/02/08
Posts: 406
Loc: Illinois
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Was this a protective order hearing?
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Focus on what is legally relevant, not morally indignant or petty.
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**DONOTDELETE**
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it was a summons for me to appear for her proof that I was living in TN with a woman. at first it was for mainly proof that i was living with another woman in TN. they said they had proof but there was no proof because i have been living in NC ever since I left Oct 1 2007. apparently they found out I was really living in NC this whole time so they changed their focus on supervised visitation. is that legal, because I had no time to prepare for supervised visitation. i even asked for a continuance but her lawyer said she was going to say no because they had proof i was in TN. SO I FILED FOR A CONTINUANCE anyway but got scared because everyone was telling me i need a lawyer and i got one and i believe she was negligent. i briefed her before we went into the courtroom because she told me they were going to focus on supervised visitation. and I told her that my wife was also on prescription drugs and drank wine with Aaron in the car. She was on Hydrocodone just like me but my lawyer did not address it to the court even though i continually was asking her to before and while we were in the actual hearing. she kept saying ,hold on. and then the judge started ruling and i said stop him and she said I can't he has already started ruling. is this right. could not she have interrupted and said we have more questions.
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Pops_IL_CP_Dad
addict
Reged: 02/02/08
Posts: 406
Loc: Illinois
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What were their grounds for supervised visitation?
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Focus on what is legally relevant, not morally indignant or petty.
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vick
journeyman
Reged: 12/23/07
Posts: 69
Loc: tn
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i have chronic back pain from doing drywall 23 yrs and a head on collision i 1997. i take pain meds. but she does too. it does not affect my driving. the wreck was the other guy's fault , he turned in front of me going 55 mph and i was not on pain meds then. she lied in court and my lawyer did not bring up her pain med use. she has been in 4-5 wrecks. 2 in one month. and drinks and i don't. she comes from a family of 12 children and her daddy knew everybody there. all the judges and police etc. small town politics. the judge ordered i will have supervised visitation until I am off my meds. i told him I would get an operation so I could get off my meds and he said no i'm not telling you to do that.
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Pops_IL_CP_Dad
addict
Reged: 02/02/08
Posts: 406
Loc: Illinois
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OK--without proof, hard evidence, it's your word against hers regarding her use of pain meds. Had your attorney tried to bring it up, and was successful, it could have meant BOTH of you lost custody and your kid would now be in the foster care system.
The reason your attorney couldn't do anything about the notes your were scribbling to her during the hearing is this -- everything you want to ask for requires a motion. She cannot just try to change why the particular hearing is being held in order to tell the judge what you think he should be hearing at that time.
This was a temporary hearing for visitation -- unless you could produce evidence regarding visitation, nothing else can even be discussed.
You'll need different hearings for that stuff. The ruling is NOT a final ruling.
You were late getting an attorney and consequently, you and your attorney were not prepared to fight the motion.
First, get off the meds. Find some alternative pain relief. Go to a pain clinic for help. Obviously, you will not be granted 50 / 50 parenting time (or even close to it) and you will not be granted custody unless and until you get off the meds.
As aggravating as it is that she seems to know everyone, is related to everyone, dwelling on that only causes you to lose your focus.
Your first and ONLY priority should be about your kid. Put your child's best interests FIRST in every thought you have, every action you take.
It's time to leave emotion behind, bud.
If you tell your attorney you want mediation, keep in mind that unless you and your wife can work things out, mediation will fail and you'll be out big bucks and right back to square one.
What do you want? Custody? How much and when for visitation? What is best for your child?
I'm all for 50 / 50 shared parenting. Kids need both parents as much as possible. Take that attitude and do not compromise.
Get your ducks in a row, communicate early with your attorney.
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Focus on what is legally relevant, not morally indignant or petty.
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vick
journeyman
Reged: 12/23/07
Posts: 69
Loc: tn
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Thanks , My lawyer put in a motion to withdraw. I asked her how much I owed her so far and with a few phone calls to me and my wifes lawyer,one meeting before the court date and one day in court. the cost 923 dollars. i know they deserve their money but i think she did overcharge me. because everything we discussed the day before the court did not help one bit. I think she should have asked for a continuance right from the beginning because I did not hire her until 5 days before the court day. And if she was a good lawyer she would have known she needed more time to prepare. i asked her to ask for a continuance and she talked me out of it. she said it was up to me and I think that is her job to give me advice at 175/hr, not the other way around. she's the expert, right? and I think I already told you that they changed their tactics when they found out i really was living in NC. My Lawyer should have known that when they did that we needed more time. Am I being unreasonable? What do you think. one more thing. are you or were you a lawyer
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Pops_IL_CP_Dad
addict
Reged: 02/02/08
Posts: 406
Loc: Illinois
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Nope, not a lawyer. But I went through a long divorce / custody battle myself. And won sole custody.
Sounds like need to find yourself a good attorney experienced with working with fathers.
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Focus on what is legally relevant, not morally indignant or petty.
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vick
journeyman
Reged: 12/23/07
Posts: 69
Loc: tn
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Thanks Pops, I appreciate your input. vick
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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Quote:
hey everybody, i am thinking about mediation. does anyone know the approximate cost. I heard it was expensive, almost as much as a lawyer. if I start the mediation and I can't agree, will the judge favor her in court. He already does favor her anyway. i am pretty sure she knows him. it is a small town and her family of 12 children know everyone there. her father was well respected and knew all the sheriff and all the judges. she cuts a lot of the court officials hair. every time we go to the courthouse,even whwn we were going for a divorce 3 yrs ago, a lot of court clerks and people working in the court were talking to her and hugging her neck. we went to court march 5th 08 and she was hugging a court worker. Also. does anyone know what i need to do to get a mediation started. do i need to file a form to the court or what, and how do i get a form? any help would be greatly appreciated. vick
If you can document all the hugging, I would motion for a change of venue.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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vick
journeyman
Reged: 12/23/07
Posts: 69
Loc: tn
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Thanks. vick
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