accesskas
enthusiast
Reged: 08/22/05
Posts: 209
Loc: Missouri
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My husband was divorced in 2000. How can we get a hold of the orginal information (income ect..) that was used? Do they keep a copy of that original worksheet?
thanks!
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Susanf31
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
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Your H should have copies of all of his divorce papers.
You've been getting off cheap. Your H has CO'd parenting time of 6 weeks in the summer. BM's CS was based on her NOT having the child those 6 weeks. Your H has been pushing his parenting time off on her. Has he been reimbursing her for the extra costs she incurs while she feeds the child during his time? I doubt it.
CS is for her during HEr parenting time. It's not for her to cover your H's parenting time.
I'm flabbergasted that you are finding fault with BM when she's covered your asses for 8 YEARS when your H chose not to exercise his parenting time!
Now she can't cover you this year without incurring a lot of daycare costs and you don't want to pay for it?
I'm stunned.
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momx3
old hand
Reged: 04/19/06
Posts: 1036
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Instead of focusing on the money issue, why not enjoy the fact that your H has the opportunity to have his child for six straight weeks!?!
And don't use that bull about he can't be away from his mom, kids of divorced parents do it all the time. And, besides, if that was the REAL issue, I don't think you be searching out every way in the world to make her PAY for enforcing the visitation.
You know, most CPs punish the NCP by keeping the child AWAY from the other parent when they are angry about things versus insisting on them exercising their visitation. You both should be really glad that she exhibits her "anger" this way.
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I'm not bossy...I just have better ideas!
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ryna
member
Reged: 01/24/08
Posts: 183
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I have to agree. My H has always had to fight tooth and nail to get his kids. CP doesn't want him to have anything to do with them at all, just pay his support. We didn't even know where they were for 3 years. That was he!! for him, so look at it in a positive light instead of the negatives. Children cost money and sometimes unexpected, and thats whether they are in divorced homes or not.
And I haven't read everything you have posted, but let me give you a little bit of advice from both a SM & CP, don't get caught up in the amount of CS that goes to "her". Its for the kids regardless of whether it is going to them or not, he is doing his part and no one can ever say different. I see too many the are always trying to find out how to get by with this or that, and its not worth the effort and time that it takes.
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accesskas
enthusiast
Reged: 08/22/05
Posts: 209
Loc: Missouri
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you all have excellent points, and I stand ashamed... I hadn't really thought about all the things you all are pointing out.... i have looked at the horrible things she has put us through, but I need to look a little bit bigger and see that she has also like you said paid for things that we should have as well, like summer time. My husband most likely will be using his visitation time this summer. thanks for all your input i very much appreciate it.
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matart1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/01/05
Posts: 2798
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your husband can talk to clerk of court in the state, county, whatever that the divorce paperwork is filed and for a fee can request a copy of specific or all papers pertaining to his divorce.
my husband has been divorced for over 10 years and he has to fight tooth and nail not only to speak on the phone with his kids but also to see them.
if he could add up all the time he has been able to spend time with his kids out of 10 years he would be fortunate to put down 4 years worth of time on a calendar.....sad your husband does not want to take advantage of what time he can with his own kids.
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Life is a long lesson in humility.
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Melody
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
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may not be part of the official order, but it should be filed in his case file. His attorney should certainly have a copy in his case file as well.
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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I don't feel as though you should stand ashamed. You are looking for opinions and everyone is giving you some.
I don't know anything about your particular state, but let me tell you about my state, NYS. The decree should give you a break down of the numbers used to determine CS. In NYS CS is based on combined parental income (CP and NCP's incomes combined) BUT they do NOT take into account how many overnights the parents have to determine CS. The only time NYS may WAIVER from that is during a deviation. Then the courts MAY decide to REDUCE a NCP's CS amount if the NCP has the child for an extended amount of time (more than 4 weeks) and NCP's costs increase while the CP's costs significantly decrease. But as far as CS being based on overnights or parenting time, that is NOT the case in NYS. I do not know how your state works though...
In NYS child (daycare) costs are an add on. I do not believe that your H's ex (the CP) could now come after him for daycare costs or for back support since your H never used his time in the Summer. If that was true, she should have modifed the order when this was happening. I can't imagine the courts will now go back years to make it 'right'. Maybe just amend the order and make it right from here on out.
In NYS daycare costs are an add on. They are also in ratio to income... So if both parents make $40k/year than daycare would be split 50/50. If one makes $20k and the other makes $40k then daycare costs are split 67/33- you know what I mean?
If there is no add on for daycare and CP isn't looking for one, then surely he should take his child for those 6 weeks in the summer and pay the daycare expenses! Could he get her to help in those expenses- yes. But would it be worth it because then she could get your H to pay HIS share in the daycare costs she incurs THROUGHOUT the year, if there is any.
Does this make sense to you??
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accesskas
enthusiast
Reged: 08/22/05
Posts: 209
Loc: Missouri
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Yes thank you so much!
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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Good :) I know nothing about your state, but I didn't want you to think all states are based on a parenting time share model. In our state Husband could see his daughter the 6 weeks in the summer or NOT and it would not increase his CS any if he didn't. Doesn't mean he should choose not to, but it doesn't make his CS go up if he does not.
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