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BigEasy
journeyman


Reged: 10/17/05
Posts: 75
LIVING IN LIMBO - AND CONFUSED
      #38372 - 10/24/05 11:05 AM

We are not communicating, she is not interested counseling. If, I'm in one room, she goes to another. She has totally detached herself from me, and is very angry, but won't talk about anything. She claims that she is leaving me at the end of our child's current school semester. I don't want a divorce, but this is not looking good. I am unsure what to do.

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Dee78
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11820
Loc: TN
What are her reasons? [Re: BigEasy]
      #38406 - 10/24/05 01:03 PM

If you truly don't want the divorce then I say that you need to fight like hell over the next few months to keep her. Go back to when you guys were first dating and start doing some of those things. Send her flowers, get her cards, basically court her again. She probably won't be receptive of it at first but you have to keep trying.

That would be my suggestion. You can check out this website as well:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/db.mv?ARTID=telephone


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BigEasy
journeyman


Reged: 10/17/05
Posts: 75
Re: What are her reasons? [Re: Dee78]
      #38468 - 10/24/05 02:39 PM

She does not talk to me. I can't get any response beyond, "I am leaving". She is not willing to go to counseling; as we have been there.

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Dee78
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11820
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Okay you went to counseling [Re: BigEasy]
      #38477 - 10/24/05 02:45 PM

So what were her issues in counseling? Start there and see what you can do. Even if she won't talk, she can listen.

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alabama
enthusiast
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Reged: 02/14/05
Posts: 228
Re: LIVING IN LIMBO - AND CONFUSED [Re: BigEasy]
      #38534 - 10/24/05 04:58 PM

Have you asked her what she is angry about? Do your best to get her to open up. Would she go out to dinner with you? Maybe someplace that the both of you have really enjoyed in the past...

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BigEasy
journeyman


Reged: 10/17/05
Posts: 75
Re: LIVING IN LIMBO - AND CONFUSED [Re: alabama]
      #38536 - 10/24/05 05:09 PM

Alabama, when I say she has removed herself emotionally, I mean;
- If I am in one room, she is in another
- We don't share the same bed
- We don't eat as a family; Sunday breakfast used to be a
big thing with our family. Now I'll cook and eat with
our son (15), and she will come behind us and prepare
her own.
- She doesn't even talk to members of my family any more.
Even thouse that she was (or appeared to be close to)
- On weekends, she will rise early and leave until later
in the day, or plan visits to family members (her Dad
and brothers) out of town
- I attempt to hold her hand, she get angry, and
shouts, "don't touch me"

You get the picture. Just this morning, I mentioned that my tady through the early afternoon was open, and thought it would be great to have lunch together. She declined.


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alabama
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Reged: 02/14/05
Posts: 228
Re: LIVING IN LIMBO - AND CONFUSED [Re: BigEasy]
      #38549 - 10/24/05 05:57 PM

Quote:

- I attempt to hold her hand, she get angry, and
shouts, "don't touch me"




BigEasy...what is your reaction to her when she shouts, "don't touch me"?

Okay, also...I have read your posts but may have missed it...Have you pointedly asked her what she is so angry about? or...are you saying that if you ask...she just will turn away and not answer?


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Tabitha
addict
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Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 481
Re: LIVING IN LIMBO - AND CONFUSED [Re: BigEasy]
      #38822 - 10/25/05 02:41 PM

B.E., Sorry you are going through this. I think it is completely unfair of someone to show anger towards another person while holding them hostage by having no explanation. With that said, what can you do about it? Here's a link that I think has some great advice. I'm not saying you need to buy the book or anything, but I think there is some real wisdom in this man's advice. Good luck and please keep us posted.

http://www.stopyourdivorce.com/

--------------------
"You never really know a person until you divorce them."


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overtherainbow
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Reged: 10/23/04
Posts: 268
Loc: New England
Re: LIVING IN LIMBO - AND CONFUSED [Re: Tabitha]
      #38915 - 10/25/05 06:06 PM

Try to get her to go to a counselor (bribe her) . and find the best one that money can buy. Some of them are awful. Find someone that does primarily couples counseling not all of them do that.

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BigEasy
journeyman


Reged: 10/17/05
Posts: 75
Re: LIVING IN LIMBO - AND CONFUSED [Re: overtherainbow]
      #39050 - 10/26/05 08:47 AM

I have tried everything. She says she is just not happy, and not happy with her life and wants a change.

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