marlite
recently joined
Reged: 04/07/08
Posts: 12
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I am wondering how everyone here does regular school year expenses (back to school shopping for clothes/supplies and then also cost of school lunches)
I know alot will base on orders in the case... which for me there are none concerning this issue, as this is child's first year coming up. Just wanting to know how some of you do it (input from CP and NCP appreciated!) Is cost for these items split in some way between the parents (on top of support being paid), OR is it considered to be part of the normal expenses of raising a child which is covered by support? Did you and other parent agree to this arrangement, or did the court order it in your case?
Thanks !
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GrammaLatte
enthusiast
Reged: 02/14/08
Posts: 307
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For me and my kids, skids, we just paid for everything like that. Part of having kids...
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Been there, done that, don't wanna do it again
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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<<Part of having kids... >>
Right but the child is both parent's kid. :) I think she's wondering how do you decide who pays what, what portion do you pay, etc.
Marlite - Are you the CP? If so do you receive child support? Or are you the NCP who pays CS?
As a CP who doesn't get much help from the NCP - I'd ask for X to pay half, and if he didn't, I'd pay for it all.
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jil_stevens
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/31/06
Posts: 3893
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My ex pays nothing for it. He is current on his child support only due to a garnishment, and he pays nothing else, even the medical expenses he is court ordered to pay.
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marlite
recently joined
Reged: 04/07/08
Posts: 12
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yes, I agree it is part of having kids...
I guess I will get a bit more detailed.
No orders are in place for extracurricular costs or any of the rest of above issues I posted about for school, yet our child will start school in the fall.
His mom tried to slip in a charge for an extracurricular activity at his day care when my support was being refigured (which the judge said since there were no orders in place saying that we were to split them , then it would not be in the figure for child care and no NEW order was made)
Mom had given me general info (school name, website, 1st day... then eventually a calendar - for last year which child was not enrolled yet?) as her providing info to me (BTW we have joint legal, with her having physical about 60%, me about 40%)
Now, she is sending more info, even though she keeps informing that I should check the online info, and what she has included is the school year calendar for next year, info on the afterschool care she chose, list for supplies needed for Kindergarten and a fully detailed list of school lunch costs.
To me, it looks like she will be asking that I will have to split these costs or contribute to them. Especially since she had just recently tried to add in the extra cost at daycare AND since there are plenty of other things on these sites she could be printing off and sending me (like the school policy book, teacher information, stuff actuially pertinent to his education) but instead she makes sure to send me the print outs for the things that have costs. Personally, I feel that these costs are part of what support is paid for... (And, yes, I would feel that even if I had physical custody - I would not expect her to share these costs on top of child support if she were paying me) even without school - she still had to cloth him, provide items to entertain him and feed him. But I am understanding and have even thought of beating her to the punch... I am just wondering WHAT would be fair to offer.
I have thought about going ahead and getting a few school outfits, maybe a pair of shoes and then part of the supplies list in the next month or so (and of course save my reciepts). I want to do it soon, I figure she won't shop until july or august anyway, but just in case she does try to ask the court to order us to share. And then also offering to her that the days I take son to school I will provide $ for lunch (either ahead of time to her or pay it myself on 'lunch card"??? haven't figured out how to do this one yet?) and then extra curricular activities we will need to discuss and agree on, otherwise the cost will be hers. She makes a good deal more $ than I do, so I think what I have offered is pretty generous, plus if she were to go to ask judge to make these "split down the middle" between us, if I offer this or SHOW that I have given her this much, judge may feel like she is just trying to milk it.
So that is why I am wondering what some of you all do for this - so that I know how much or how little I should do. (because I also know that if I voluntarily do this this year, she will expect it next year and the year after... so I also don't want to hang myself by trying to be nice.)
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hippie1981
veteran
Reged: 09/27/05
Posts: 1304
Loc: Wisconsin
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I assume it's part of child support as child support pays for clothing and feeding the child. I really don't buy much in the way of back-to-school clothes. Maybe 1 or 2 new outfits, but I buy DD new clothes year round as she needs them. I qualify for reduced price lunches, and I get an email when DD's lunch account is running low. I just send $20 to school at that time. I don't ask the ex for any reimbursement for anything.
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marlite
recently joined
Reged: 04/07/08
Posts: 12
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Wow, lots of responses and ?'s while I was just typing away...
To answer some that I did not answere above - I am NCP that pays Support on time, shares medical/insurance costs (won't get into the whole past, but I contribute more than I should technically have to for those!) I put child in activities that have registration fees and supplies (in which I do not ask mom for $ for because she would refuse... she had plenty of times, so I stopped asking!) Yet, I am still willing to be the bigger person and step up to the plate to help furnish things that will benefit our son.
The school outfit thing, they have a 'loose' uniform policy, so he cannot just wear his normal everyday shirts, and jeans. it is still kind of casual, and I have started buying things that fall in line w/ their dress code, so his wadrobe that I have that fits him is already school ready. This is the reason I thought to send at least a few school outfits to Mom .
I am starting to see a pattern though, that most of you do not ask for or get reimbursement from the NCP for these costs.
I am sure there aer some on the other side of the coin, more responses certainly welcome!
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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Food/lunches and clothing fall under child support. Schools supplies fall under "you have a kid and have to buy them". It is just one of those things. What are school supplies? Less than 100.00? If the child is in kinder, then it would be more like 28.00 (what I paid) so to me that is a nonissue. The rest in covered in the CS that you pay.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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I believe for just about every state, those are considered normal expenses to be covered by CS.
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Char Fox
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Melody
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
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comes up. The "school" expenses that you describe....clothing/shoes, lunches, supplies....are not actual expenses related to attending school. They are normal everyday expenses that the child has. The child needs clothing/shoes, the child needs to eat lunch, the child is going to need some pencils/paper/notebooks, etc. This is what child support is for. CPs should NOT be hitting up the NCP for additional funds to cover these expenses because this is already figured into the states calculations for child support.
Now if an order was WRITTEN to deal with extra expenses, then it's a different story and the CP can ask that the order be enforced. I'm only talking about cases where child support is simply ordered...period.
Why on earth would the NCP need to pay MORE to go towards school lunches? They are already paying support that should be allocated towards groceries for the child from which lunches can be made. If the kid wants school lunch, then the CP could certainly earmark some of the child support for that and contribute some of their own money. The NCP is already paying support that is supposed to cover his/her share of the child's clothing/shoe needs, so why should they have to contribute even more? The CP should be budgeting the child support so that there is some additional funds available at Back to School time.
As for school supplies....what are we talking about here? A few bucks for binder paper, notebooks, pens/pencils? Toss them in your regular grocery basket a few at a time. Graphing calculator for $100? Well, MAYBE that's a reasonable request for the NCP to contribute.
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