Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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[quote]I didnt mean ALL NCPs are that way. I didnt mean those situations where the BM demands you go for broke because SHE wants something. I am talking about the SP's who come on here and bytch because the child(ren) NEED something extra and BM truly cant afford it. I am an NCP SM and a CP BM. I see both sides of the coin. So, I am NOT talking about those who have X's who spend all the CS on themselves, or those who demand NCP send them money. I am talking about those who ask for reimbursement for stupid things. Those who think they should be reimbursed for anything they buy the kids of their own free will. Those who want to hurt the X and in doing so, hurt their own kids. [/quote]
My kids have NEVER gone without anything that was needed (and a lot that wasn't). And their CS was WAY more than enough. And I provided 100% of their support. All of it. Every penny.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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Exactly. And even though you had major surgery recently, we dont see you on here bytching and moaning about it. Not that I've seen anyway. I am not talking about people like us. Alot of times, it is the new spouse coming into the pic that changes alot of things. Whether that's good or bad is up to the individuals involved but it's a very real thing.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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motorboater
old hand
Reged: 03/14/08
Posts: 921
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In my experience, the stbx to receive CS who says its not enough is either delusional or intentionally deceptive. Is $417 enough for two kids with her 2/3 of the time? No. But that figure is just the difference between our respective CS contributions based on income, adjusted by relative expenses/time. NOT the total "how much kids cost" figure. But she doesn't care to see it for what it is in order to manufacture a claim that $417 is not enough. Really, she's supposed to be spending >$500 of her own money plus $417 from me for appox. $1000 a month on child support while in her care, which IS enough. She conveniently leaves that out of her whine.
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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[quote]Exactly. And even though you had major surgery recently, we dont see you on here bytching and moaning about it. Not that I've seen anyway. I am not talking about people like us. Alot of times, it is the new spouse coming into the pic that changes alot of things. Whether that's good or bad is up to the individuals involved but it's a very real thing. [/quote]
A new spouse (regardless of which side) coming into the picture changes everything always..it's pretty rare to find a spouse of a NCP who is thrilled with NCP paying for much of anything above and beyond CS.
I am very lucky to have not had that problem as my second wife had a huge jump in lifestyle when she married me that what I had left over after everything was fine with her..LOL..she had never lived in a house before, let alone build one 100% to her liking..I think that was enough for her..
As far as my illness, I learned bitching and moaning doesnt cure you...heck, I just spent 10 days in the ICU (got home yesterday) and you guys didnt even know I was gone..hehe
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"heck, I just spent 10 days in the ICU (got home yesterday) and you guys didnt even know I was gone..hehe "
Dang, relayer...glad to hear you got out... hope you're getting better? Just wait, your ex will want more money now, since you can afford expensive icu stays...
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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[quote]"heck, I just spent 10 days in the ICU (got home yesterday) and you guys didnt even know I was gone..hehe "
Dang, relayer...glad to hear you got out... hope you're getting better? Just wait, your ex will want more money now, since you can afford expensive icu stays... [/quote]
I had one ex's once send my daughter to the hospital during another stay in the ICU WITH my checkbook (daughter has a key to my place) and had me sign a check for a school fee ($250) that I DIDN'T EVEN OWE (already paid)....I was out of it mentally at the time so didn't know any better..my ex then high tailed it to the bank and cashed it..I didn't even bother with the courts to try to get it back as we know how that would have worked..
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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bbb
recently joined
Reged: 08/01/05
Posts: 21
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Maybe the only real fair way is to take both household expenses NCP and CP and divided in two. Just remember there will be two rents/mortgages, two utility bills two of everything. And then say each household would need to contribute to a general fund and then each house hold gets an allowance to live on. After all the NCP would also have to pay the basics like the CP's. You forget no one is contributing to their expenses for the roof over head, food, utilities when child is with them. Maybe that way the NCP would get their 1/2 of the time as ordered without complaints.
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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And then people would be buying more expensive homes, cars, etc., to make up the difference so they wouldn't have to pay as much. It'd never work doing it that way, KWIM?
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bbb
recently joined
Reged: 08/01/05
Posts: 21
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That is where I was kind of going. All would be/are actually be living beyond their income capabilities. Don't you think that is what is happening now when CS is not enough or CS is to much? If the household was intact then it would have to be enough on both ends. And one would not try to out do the next. After all that is what the shared income models are about are they not? What would be available if together not what one dreams and thinks they "have to have".
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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Well its one of 3 things going on...
a) They are nickle and dimed by the CP so incessently, its like the CP is trying to control them and they're trying to stop the cycle
b) They begrudge every cent they send the CP and will do anything to avoid sending more
c) They pay a lot of CS and really can't afford the extras
Eventually, you can pretty much figure out which of the 3 categories they may fall under by their responses.
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Char Fox
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