JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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Dee - I understand your position, in my situation, that's just not how I look at it. I wouldn't want X to pay more than he is supposed to be paying, and I wouldn't want to accept more than I'm supposed to be accepting.
X and I are legally obligated to let DHS know if there has been any type of change in income or daycare or insurance that would cause CS to increase/decrease by 10%. It has, therefor I have reported it. I feel THAT is the right thing, in my situation, to do.
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Cinder2
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4361
Loc: Southern California
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You should use the state worksheet to calculate and not the online calculators (unless it a calculator from the state). The judge is going to use the state worksheet.
It can be found at:
http://www.courts.mo.gov/sup/index.nsf/d45a7635d4bfdb8f8625662000632638/64c9d1dfef67046e86256fb70073df81?OpenDocument
Cinder
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accesskas
enthusiast
Reged: 08/22/05
Posts: 209
Loc: Missouri
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oh jennylynn it would work out for so many other divorced couples if BOTH parties had the same attitude, but unforunately in most cases that just isn't how they think. At least in my case, my husband's ex could care less if she is getting more than she is supposed to.
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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Yeah, it's unfortunate that that's the way it is access. I probably shouldn't care if his CS is more than it's supposed to be - he owes me $12K and is about to go to court...AGAIN...for contempt charges b/c of the debt. I just don't feel right making him owe more than he should owe though, ya know?
He doesn't even pay 25% of what he's CO'd to pay anyway...so if CS goes down it's not going to make much of a difference in what I'm not receiving anyway! :)
Edited by JennyLynn (04/09/08 10:54 AM)
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DeeCan
veteran
Reged: 04/05/08
Posts: 1266
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That is very honest of you. And, technically, we're all supposed to do the same thing. There is pretty much an "understanding" between me and my xH that this is how it will be. And, for example, right now he does quite a bit above and beyond his CS for DS, he visits him regularly, etc.; and he recently got a significant raise. I don't want the state telling him to pay more - he does more than he has to (by CO, not morally, of course) and what he does is more vaulable to DS (and me) than any CS dollars. If things change, I can rethink it THEN react on MY/OUR terms.
And with DH's exW....well...DH could hand her every dollar he makes and it wouldn't be good enough. So, since we do a lot of things for SS "on the side," if she wants it, she can do the work to get it. After all, she's willing to do the work to create a gap between SS and DH. So we know she has the energy to. lol
Everyone, however, has to do what works for them. And if you're happy with the way it is for you, then don't let any of us influence you. Of course, I'll be honest, if he's that far behind in CS, I'd be %$#@! before I cut him any slack. lol
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Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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LOL yeah I know...well about $6500 of it is in child support, the rest is for other debt he owes me (on a car, on past health insurance for DS, medical, etc).
He rarely sees DS, doesn't exercise most of his visitation, is very uninvolved in his life, never calls to talk to him or see how he's doing...NOTHING. I know I should be a lot harder on him than I am, I guess I just don't like dealing with it.
I am hard on him however in the fact that last year I filed contempt, and now DHS has filed contempt again. He's facing losing his license and/or going to jail. Neither options do I want to happen, but then again he's the only person responsible for his choices.
Edited by JennyLynn (04/09/08 11:56 AM)
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20058
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"For those of you who followed my other post a week or so ago, turns out my husband was given a credit for summer time, so maybe it has evened out with what we have overpaid and what she has had to pay when my husband was supposed to have summer visitation. :-)"
He's been overpaying for 1 yr or 2 at the rate of $20 per month. At a full 2 years, he's overpaid 24x$20, or $480. I have a feeling she's spent more than $480 on the 6 weeks per summer childcare over the years your dh didn't take.
" By the way we are taking summer visitation this year! ;-)"
THAT'S GREAT!!
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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I may have a different way of looking at it too...in NY DH's CS would NEVER decrease if BM makes more $$$ even though it's a dual income state. It's just how NYS CS works- DH makes more $$ CS goes up, BM does and it doesn't ALTHOUGH it would lead to a HIGHER combined income in which the courts MAY deviate from the guidelines. Last order DH's income was cut off at $80k instead of the $90 plus he was making- so that does help.
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accesskas
enthusiast
Reged: 08/22/05
Posts: 209
Loc: Missouri
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ya you might be right, but my husband kept him a lot when she was having man problems, one time she dropped him off and said "i need you to keep him and i don't know for how long", i think we kept him for over a week, but there have been many things like that over the years, but it probably doesn't still really even out. Oh well all we can do is be the best people and make the best decisions we can now knowing what we know. :-) I have a feeling if my husband had known about the credit given him he would have done things alot differently.
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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JL here's the link to you asking about doing a modification---
http://www.divorcesource.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=372462&page=0&fpart=1&vc=1
I think there were like 2 or 3 people who said you should, everyone else told you to drop it.
Which isn't the norm for this site, I think it has to do with your current situation.
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