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Diane67
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Reged: 08/14/04
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Loc: California
Men's issue?
      #3864 - 11/02/04 10:54 AM

Not sure where this belongs. Just thought I'd get another perspective on this. My spouse left in the middle of July. We went to two counseling sessions in August. In September, he came home for one night - just to see how he felt about me. Didn't hear anything from him for two weeks. Had an argument three days later he comes back and apologizes. Every time we're together he starts crying. What is up with that? I could understand if it was anger, but it's not. We were talking in the parking lot of the local Wal-mart - and he starts crying. Not only does he leave me, he's the one who has shed the most tears. Why?

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Gryph
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Reged: 10/12/04
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Loc: Minnesota
Re: Men's issue? [Re: Diane67]
      #3874 - 11/02/04 03:11 PM

Severe depression? Has he seen a doctor, or have the therapists analysed his mental state at all?

Good luck!


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Diane67
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Re: Men's issue? [Re: Gryph]
      #3882 - 11/02/04 04:26 PM

Depression . . . haven't thought about it like that. He doesn't want to live at home becuase he's angry all the time - yet cries whenever he begins talking to me. Maybe I made him that miserable. Who knows. I tried to talk him into counseling (by himself), but I don't think he's going to go. I wish he would talk to somebody.

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Gryph
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Re: Men's issue? [Re: Diane67]
      #3888 - 11/02/04 06:14 PM

Is he angry about anything in particular? If it is just a habitual non-specific anger it sure could be a sign of depression or any of a number of other mental health issues.

Did this come on suddenly? I mean, were you and he fine for a while and then suddenly he became angry about every little thing, hostile about many of them and then fled?

If so, even if not, you would probably serve him and yourself well to kindly but firmly suggest and perhaps go farther than suggesting, that he get some counseling. Any chance you could talk to the marital councilor you saw with him about the possibility?

Remember though, kindness, patience, don’t give him anything to push back against, don’t let him fight with you by simply not fighting. If you can’t get anywhere with the suggestion of counseling try to get him to just see his regular doctor, say for a check up. If you can get him to do that, you can contact the doctor and let him know your concerns and see if he can get anywhere.

Peace and Love


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