Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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[quote
Or perhaps you forget that not all NCPs want or have their kids with them? [/quote]
A vast majority, however, do.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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c_jane
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 1753
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
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In my case, Ex- works a full time job. His WIFE chooses not to work. My son, through the 10 years, has worn holey jeans, ill-fitting clothes, shoes I wouldn't give to a poor person, NO winter coat until I bought him one, they've had their electricity turned off once, had to cut off their cell phones & cable. They RARELY have money for 'extras', every extra-curricular activity they put DS in he has to (w/in a few months) drop out because 'they can't afford it'. SO I hardly see the several hundred a month I pay in CS going for 'DS'. If it were, he would have nice clothes for school, a coat, nice tennis shoes occassionally, still be in Tai Kwan Do, lunch money always in his account, and they might take him to DO something (museums, a movie, a theme park, etc.)
[quote]This is a main cause for the resentment I would say, combined with the fact that there is no accounting how the money is spent by the CP and used to enhace the CP's lifestyle. [/quote]
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John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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[quote] My SO has NEVER gotten to claim his D on his taxes. The BM gets huge refunds because of D. [/quote]
My ex never has for his first child either. It was a "non-negotiable" point with her. His attorney specifically DID put in the alternating years b/c YES they do have joint custody, and YES they did do nearly a 50/50 split, and YES he pays exactly 50% support b/c their incomes were nearly identical plus 50% of extras, childcare and medical.
She returned (via fax) the document, with that scratched out and the notation "absolutely NOT. Will go to court over it". And THAT was that. He gave her the deductions.
I also get the deduction. I also have sole legal and physical custody and even if his child support were to be calculated based on his income today, it would still be a 75/25 financial split, with me having the larger portion of responsibility.
If there were a point where he was providing more support than I was? Then yes, he would take the deduction. If we were doing a true 50/50 split of expenses, we would alternate.
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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[quote]there is no accounting how the money is spent by the CP and used to enhace the CP's lifestyle. Thats it in my case anyway. Aslo, the mother had no legal responsibility to provide any kind of support herself. None. [/quote]
I'd say this is my ex's case with his first wife. He sees his kid show up in all her girlfriend's hand me downs (most don't fit her), her mother cries poverty but yet she's spent umpteen weeks in the last year traveling hither and yon.
He only pays it, frankly, b/c he considers it "ransom". That's his word for it. And probably why he doesn't feel any need/desire to support OUR child. I don't hold her hostage over money. His first wife does. I'm sure the day I pulled her tricks and said "hey, can't support her? I can't be here" I'm sure he'd write me a check too. I just don't play that way.
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matilda
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/11/04
Posts: 2087
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Well, BM lives in section 8 housing and only pays a couple hundred dollars for rent and utilities and child received free breakfast and lunch from school. Dinner would consist of mac and cheese or cup a soups. BM didn't want to spend money on food for D, so bought cheap items. This caused health issues for D. SO's support would definitely cover 50% of costs. And yes, I did report BM to CSE, but they let D continue to live with BM. I honestly believe sometimes the main reason why BM wants custody is for the HUGE tax refund.
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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[quote]Well, BM lives in section 8 housing and only pays a couple hundred dollars for rent and utilities and child received free breakfast and lunch from school. Dinner would consist of mac and cheese or cup a soups. BM didn't want to spend money on food for D, so bought cheap items. This caused health issues for D. SO's support would definitely cover 50% of costs. And yes, I did report BM to CSE, but they let D continue to live with BM. I honestly believe sometimes the main reason why BM wants custody is for the HUGE tax refund. [/quote]
Or just money in general
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"It is also the fact that when the marriage is in tact, money used to support the children also comes with an itangible positive feedback. If you purchase something, you are able to see teh fruits of the effort and how it benefits the child and even their joy for some items. When childd support is paid, that positive feedback is stripped away to a significant extent. It seems to go into a black hole for the payer. That often causes resentment."
Now we're back to what cs is meant to be used for, and that's to help with the basic expenses of a child, it's not a toy or clothing allowance...I don't exactly see the joy in my children when I pay the bills, either. If the children are fed, clothed, and housed, then you see how cs benefits the children, unless cs is extremely high (based on local cost of living).
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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Because I'm not your vast majority, or perhaps Dee or someone else here isn't your vast majority, we should all take reduced CS amounts (below the already low ones we normally got anyway), to make up for room and board at a house our kids never spend time at?
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Char Fox
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billingmom
member
Reged: 10/26/05
Posts: 163
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My husband is the NCP, him and son's mom have a relationship that she will do anything to help us. We do however pay half his highschool tuition 10k, and give her money for extras but because we want to. She never really asks for it. In this case we are just lucky. Plus we have to pay child support and owe some too. My husband was sick for a while out of work and she never bothered him once for child support. It added up and that's our problem, but we pay it. There are some mean CP's out there and some stingy NCP's but not all are the same. At 18 or 21 it ends anyway.
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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>>>>>At 18 or 21 it ends anyway.<<<<<
Sometimes not even then. They actually started garnishing my stepdad's SS for a child his ex claimed he fathered. He had to prove the kid wasn't his. He belonged to the man she'd been living with for 16 years but wouldn't marry so she could keep getting alimony from dad. He got the order and garnishment stopped but was out the money they'd already taken. Both his kids were well over 18 when that happened
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Char Fox
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