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Reged: 04/03/08
Posts: 226
SS and Financial Support
      #389318 - 04/14/08 08:29 AM

SS is at college. He received a scholarship to a private school which is very expensive. His Mom is able to get quite a bit of pell grant, but there is still money that has to be paid to cover room, board, books and meals.

I need some input on this, because I want to be fair. We told SS a year ago that we would be glad to pay what is left, but he needed to get a student loan, because we just couldn't afford to shuck out large amounts of money every semester. We also told him the pay back was conditional on his grades. (We're really not worried about this) He told us that his Mom and Grandma didn't want him to take out a loan. Well, I just don't feel this is fair. We are being asked to help, but have no input in the decision making process???? We helped this year again, but now he has said he will be going to summer school. He told his Dad that he wanted to take summer classes, so it wouldn't be so hard on him his senior year. Summer school is not covered by his scholarship and I think we are probably looking at atleast a $4,000 tuition bill. We simply can't afford this. Also, I'm not so sure that he actually needs to go to summer school for the above reason or it is because he changed majors and it has caused him to get off track. I really want to help SS, but I also think that if we are being asked to help pay that we should also be considered in the decision making process.

DH does still carry the health insurance for my SS. SS just got new contacts and had the bill sent to Dad, of course we will pay, but I think SS needs to realize that he is almost 20 years old and if that bill weren't to get paid it falls on him, not his Dad. We are also very generous at Christmas and birthdays and do try to give him a little extra on occasion. I guess my point is that if his Mom and Dad were still together and Grandma wasn't helping out so much, he would of had to have the student loans. No question about that.

First, SS does work (1) day a week (Sat.), but during breaks he will request not to work on most of the days he is off, so he can play. I know he will not want to work much while in summer school, which the summers are when he needs to work to stash a little cash for himself.

How would you handle this?

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Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4361
Loc: Southern California
Re: SS and Financial Support [Re: 092895]
      #389388 - 04/14/08 11:59 AM

We have a kind of similar situation. My daughter is 17 and we didn't get any financial aid at all for next year's schooling. Her dad doesn't want her to get any student loans, but I asked him how he thinks she's going to pay for it without any loans? (maybe he thinks the money is going to come from a tree?)

This is what we have done. We made a financial spreadsheet with all our contributions on it, her work-study, etc. It breaks down who is paying for what and how much. She has to get a loan or work to cover the rest. I suggested she get a loan to cover all of it for freshman year, and save all of her pay for sophomore year. That way there's no pressure to make the bills this year and she'll have a more realistic idea next year of how much she can actually work and earn.

I suggest that you and your husband decide how much you can afford, write the kid a check, and tell him that you love him.


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Reged: 04/03/08
Posts: 226
Re: SS and Financial Support [Re: Cinder2]
      #389689 - 04/14/08 05:16 PM

Hey, well atleast you realize how hard it is without a loan. I know we are fortunate that he got the scholarship, but private college is 3 to 4x's what a state college would be.

Sounds like you have a plan. Our only problem is that grandma and Mom keep telling him to get the extra from us and we just don't have it. I wish we did. The problem is Mom is just like us she doesn't have it either, but she has always taken advantage of her parents deep pockets.

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