Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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I dont see one statement where he said he loved the kid.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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spinnerdegrassi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/20/06
Posts: 7949
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See, this is where he would get screwed. He'd be told that the child wasn't "really" his, thus he should get no chance at custody. But he should continue to pay for this child for the next 13-17 years based on the lies perpetrated by the mother.
This is why, without a doubt, there should be mandatory DNA testing at birth for every child born in this country to prevent situations like this.
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SCgirl
enthusiast
Reged: 01/27/08
Posts: 334
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[quote]But what is it with these women who think there is some kind of moral obligation because he supported the kid for the 5 previous years. [/quote]
Of course I think there is a moral obligation! This was "HIS" child for the first several years of it's life. I assume he didn't just "support" this child but acted as the child's father!
I am not pro-father or pro-mother. I am pro-child! This poor child is a VICTIM because of it's shitty parents. I agree that there should probably be some sort of restitution but don't make the child suffer.
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spinnerdegrassi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/20/06
Posts: 7949
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The child will suffer, knowing that the mother is a lying [censored] for the rest of his life. I mean, can you imagine having to spent the rest of your life knowing what your mother did to you. It's all on her.
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SCgirl
enthusiast
Reged: 01/27/08
Posts: 334
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[quote]I dont see one statement where he said he loved the kid. [/quote]
You're right, he did not. I guess I just assumed that when you marry and raise a kid(that you think is your own), love is part of the equation, at least where your child is concerned.
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SCgirl
enthusiast
Reged: 01/27/08
Posts: 334
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[quote]See, this is where he would get screwed. He'd be told that the child wasn't "really" his, thus he should get no chance at custody. But he should continue to pay for this child for the next 13-17 years based on the lies perpetrated by the mother. [/quote]
No doubt what the mother did was wholly wrong but I would hope he would at least want a relationship with the child.
As a mother, I was bonded to my children their first day of their life. For example, if someone had told me mere months down the line that one of them were switched at birth and not mine, it would have been agonizing to think I'd have to give it up. I would still love the child as mine. He was this child's father for 5 years!
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SCgirl
enthusiast
Reged: 01/27/08
Posts: 334
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[quote]Why dont you get your checkbook out and start sending ME 20% of your earning. Oh...I know we have no kids together...but dont you feel a moral obligation to support a child who is not yours?[/quote]
I actually would if I raised the child as mine for 5 years...
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Renee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4022
Loc: The Palmetto State
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I agree that there should continue to be a relationship between the child and the OP, but I don't think he should be obligated to get out the ckbook. I think if he does indeed LOVE this child, he wouldn't look at it as an obligation, but as taking care of a child who's already at a disadvantage in life with a morally bankrupt mother. Would it be fair? Heck no. But its not the childs fault mom is a skank so punishing the child further doesn't seem fair either. The child is already losing a family and a Bio father.
DNA testing at birth should be done - I agree with spinner.
As for what the OP can do now? I'd like to see him not only sue Mom for fraud, but get the real papa brought into the fight too. Of course, he probably has no clue he's a papa. If she lied to the OP she surely would've lied to this guy too.
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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He's not one of the shitty parents. He is ALSO a victim. It can hurt and be very emotionally draining to be going through a divorce and discover the child you THOUGHT was yours wasn't, the wife you THOUGHT was faithful wasn't. After he gets over the pain, he may still want a relationship with the child as they've surely grown close over the last 5 years. But it won't help that relationship build if he's forced to pay out for his STBX's lies about that child. That will only put a bigger wedge in there.
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Char Fox
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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Not to dampen this jovial joking conversation, but in reality, Joseph would likely have been stoned to death for abandoning a wife and child.
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Char Fox
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