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Child custody and complications questions
      #409591 - 06/05/08 09:20 PM

Here's a doozy.

A good friend of mine is very much freaking out right now, so I'm trying to do some research for her.

She's been married for 2 1/2 years. Her husband left for the military I think 2 months after they got married, if that. They have 2 kids together, both under 2. He was messing around behind her back for the first year of their marriage (to what extent, we don't know) with the girl he was with before her. She messed around with someone while he was gone. Now, she works her ass off for these kids while he spends his money (then in korea, now in Ft. Bliss) on alcohol who knows what else. He was abusive in the beginning of the relationship. And after a lot of work, he wanted to give it one last shot, and she agreed, and they were taking steps to make it better. They both ended their outside stuffs a while back.

Now yesterday comes along and he goes and sleeps with his friend's neighbor, blaming the alcohol, and then wants his wife to be okay with this. When she says no, he flips out and has decided he wants a divorce.

Now, my friend is terrified. With all the crap between them, and everything she's heard from lawyers, she thinks he has a chance at winning sole physical custody of the kids.

Now, she's a good mom. She's not like the best in the world, as few of us are anymore, but she tries. Until about 5 months ago, her husband wouldn't say a thing about them or to them. When he was on leave, he wanted sex and that was about it.

So my questions for her is this:
Due to the fact that they both messed around, will this affect her chances at keeping the kids?
Lawyers have told her that she has 0 chance at winning custody because he's in the military. I think that sounds like total BS. Is it true though? I mean, not the whole 0 chance, but does his military status grant him leeway of some sort even though he's only seen the kids 4 times in their lives?
Every place she's tried going to for help with this has turned her away. Lawyers and centers alike. Where can she go for more info?

Thanks for your time.

Edited by HentaiBunnyInc (06/05/08 09:21 PM)

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Reged: 06/02/05
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Re: Child custody and complications questions [Re: HentaiBunnyInc]
      #409600 - 06/05/08 09:58 PM

I highly doubt any lawyer would tell her she has zero chance when she is already the defacto custodial parent. Odds are she never spoke to any lawyer. I don't think she has anything to worry about.

13.1...because I am only half crazy!

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Re: Child custody and complications questions [Re: HentaiBunnyInc]
      #409613 - 06/05/08 11:03 PM

I'd like to know what lawyers she spoke to. Does it make any sense to you that a person who may be called to leave the country, who has had limited interaction with the children in question (two VERY young children), would be the most likely custodian?

Miranda's right. She's already the custodial parent. The odds of that changing are pretty slim. She'd have to be a crack [censored] who beats the kids on a regular basis to lose them, at this point.

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Re: Child custody and complications questions [Re: Rebecca5]
      #409629 - 06/06/08 05:10 AM

No advice, except if she did talk to a lawyer, maybe the lawyer was referring to "sole physical custody" . It sounds like she wants him out of their lives, with no visitation. perhaps the lawyer said she has 0 chance of keeping him from the kids and was talking about parenting time.

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Re: Child custody and complications questions [Re: Redlegg]
      #409885 - 06/06/08 09:38 PM

Well, update. He told her today she can keep the kids, he never wanted them in the first place. And I dunno who she talked to and how, honestly, she was always a nervous wreck on those days she tried finding info.

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