EricY
recently joined
Reged: 06/02/08
Posts: 1
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I am at the lowest point in my life right now. I have been married for 10 years, love my wife, and have 3 beautiful children under the age of 7. 3 weeks ago my wife told me she no longer wanted to stay married to me. She felt I have emotionally neglected her on and off for the past 5 years, and in general she does not trust me. ( I have never and would never cheat on my wife, but have told some small white lies over the years about various things). Yesterday she told me she wants to leave with the kids, and plans to contact a divorce attorney. I would do anything for her, and my kids, but told her I could not go along/support splitting up. I am not sure what to do as I am afraid if I resist she will be more resolved to move forward. At the same time, I do not want to contribute or go along with the break up of our marriage and family. She has been sending some mixed signals, one minute saying I need to talk to her about things(like we can work it out), next minute saying it's over. Yesterday afternoon she gave me a spontaneousy kiss and hug, like she wanted to make up. That same evening she told me she was ready to break up. I am not sure what to do, want to try and save our marriage. If Anyone out there that has gone through the same thing and can offer advise it would be greatly appreciated.
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saralee
recently joined
Reged: 08/30/06
Posts: 12
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Hi [censored],
I am sorry you are in so much pain...I know what it feels like...Please get some counseling, you are still living together, have 3 children and every reason to make things right. Check out divorcebusting.com....if you decide to talk to a coach, talk to Jody, she is awesome and helped me so much. I think we are going to make it and I wish the same for you!
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madalex
enthusiast
Reged: 01/08/07
Posts: 261
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Quote:
She felt I have emotionally neglected her on and off for the past 5 years, and in general she does not trust me. ( I have never and would never cheat on my wife, but have told some small white lies over the years about various things).
What about her cheating on you? The fact that she does not trust you (even though you have given her little reason not to trust) is classic behavior of projecting her own actions on to you. In other words, she does not trust you because she is the one that has been untrustworthy. I encourage you to look into this issue and think about how that impacts your desire to stay with her.
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MaritimeGuy
addict
Reged: 04/15/08
Posts: 532
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I don't think her behaviour is out of the ordinary for that kind of situation. I'm sure in many ways she's conflicted about the whole thing. Announcing to your partner you want out is not an easy thing to do. The slips where she falls into old patterns like hugging you may simply be that...an old habit and don't necessarily mean she wants to make it work.
I agree with getting counselling for yourself to help you process the emotions that go along with being asked to break up. It's never easy. Often times an uninvolved professional can help you to gain much needed perspective.
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elrhino7
recently joined
Reged: 05/23/08
Posts: 5
Loc: Missouri
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Try to save your marriage. Talk to her and tell her why you don't want her leaving you. Remember that you have 3 children. Think about their welfare first yours.
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Divorce Lawyer
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